The Student Room Group

Reading partners texts!!!

I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for two months now and I know I should not of but I read her text messages on her phone the other day. I know this was out of order but I found texts from her ex and another bloke.

The texts were very early in the morning on Sunday after she had been out clubbing with out me, this has got me thinking. What does she text them?? Do they text her first??

During the week everything is fine between us and we get on really well seeing each other loads but when it comes to the weekend and she has had a drink she acts different. Very little affection while were out until we get home.

I trust her in the fact that she would never sleep with someone else while we are together but I can’t stop thinking she is a little to flirty. And that’s why these texts happen.

I want to know would you mind if your partner read your phone messages behind your back.

Would you mind if your partner was getting texts from her ex and other blokes??

Any advice on this would really help as I don’t know what to think or do at the moment.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

s22jcd


I want to know would you mind if your partner read your phone messages behind your back.



Yes. If my partner did something like that to me that would probably be the end of things. I couldn't date someone who didn't trust me and went behind my back to go through my personal stuff. If you're worried about something then talk to her, don't read her texts.

Reply 2

I wouldn't be happy if my partner couldn't trust me and would read my texts.

Also I still speak to my exs and have plenty of male friends..I can sometimes be flirty with them but I would never do anything with them.

Reply 3

I suppose my partner and I read each other's texts. If one of our phone's go and we can't get it then we'll read it out to each other and reply. We have the same friends and we've been together for a long time so often people will text one of us when they meant to get in touch with the other one.

2 months into a relationship and you're snooping around really. It shows you don't trust her and you're probably jumping to conclusions as it sounds like there is nothing on those texts messages. She trusts you enough to leave her phone lying around.

Reply 4

I must admit I have read text message on my boyfriends phone- but that was years ago when we very first got together and his ex was texting him (he never texted her back and there was nothing going on but it still made me jealous). I ended up texting her to tell her to get lost- and it ended up in a huge massive argument with her, which was just stupid!! So I dont recommend reading other peoples texts- it will just cause more problems in the end!!

The problem now is that are you going to tell her you read them? Im not sure how you are going to be able to address the issue unless you tell her you did? I dont blame you for worrying about it though- Im not sure why she would be texting her ex and some other bloke in the first place?? I think you just need to talk to her about it and make sure she knows how you feel.

Reply 5

I have people who I text after I've gone out for the night, just because I'm bored, and I know that 99% of the time they'll reply because they're practically always up at that time too. Could be that the person just happens to be a guy.

Reply 6

Sure if she wanted to re-read 149 texts she'd already sent.

Reply 7

shewantstobeme
I have people who I text after I've gone out for the night, just because I'm bored, and I know that 99% of the time they'll reply because they're practically always up at that time too. Could be that the person just happens to be a guy.


And her ex... :s-smilie:

Reply 8

bunthulhu
And her ex... :s-smilie:

Someone people get on with their ex's. I think how OP should feel depends on how their relationship ended. If he cheated on her and she was upset, then he suddenly comes back on the scene I'd be worried. But if they went out and mutually realised it wasn't for them then I'd say no cause for concern.

Reply 9

wow thats a new level of paranoid. i would dump you if i found out about that. your girlfriend can talk to who ever she likes and its none of your business.

Reply 10

Thanks for the replys. as was said i think i am just being over dramtic.

Thank you.

Reply 11

shewantstobeme
Someone people get on with their ex's. I think how OP should feel depends on how their relationship ended. If he cheated on her and she was upset, then he suddenly comes back on the scene I'd be worried. But if they went out and mutually realised it wasn't for them then I'd say no cause for concern.


This was the scenario from her last relationship!

Reply 12

high priestess fnord
wow thats a new level of paranoid. i would dump you if i found out about that. your girlfriend can talk to who ever she likes and its none of your business.


What about if she was talking to a psychopath who was planning to kill and rape her? Would it then become your business?

Reply 13

I wouldn't be too keen on my boy reading my texts, but it wouldn't matter so much because there's not really anything of interest there!

Reply 14

to be honest it wouldnt bother me if he read mine. but at the same time, i have nothing to hide and no interest at all in any other guys :biggrin:

i hope it all gets sorted, and she realises she doesnt need the safety net she has constructed by staying in touch with her ex. try reassuring her that you aren't going to mess her about and that you really do like her, and maybe you will find that her desire to stay in touch with her ex disappears :smile:

good luck! xXx

Reply 15

RachelBabyfrog
I wouldn't be too keen on my boy reading my texts, but it wouldn't matter so much because there's not really anything of interest there!


But it's the principle!!!1111onethousandonehundredandoneone

Reply 16

littlenat01
to be honest it wouldnt bother me if he read mine. but at the same time, i have nothing to hide and no interest at all in any other guys :biggrin:


so its ok with you if your bf spies on you behind your back?

Reply 17

high priestess fnord
so its ok with you if your bf spies on you behind your back?


Maybe that really gets her going?

Reply 18

I wouldn't mind my bf doing it because i know he wouldn't be doing it maliciously (ie: because he didn't trust me) just because he was bored or something. But if I thought he didn't trust me I'd be very upset :frown:

Reply 19

i have loads of guy mates that i text all the time, my bf knows this. and im way too flirty for my own good! but hes ok with it. the textes u found were obviously nothin to worry about, probs just chit chat. they are just her friends, just because they have a penis doesnt mean shes cheating