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Abnormal Sensitivity

Hey,

I'm worried that I am abnormally sensitive to stuff and that its driving people away :frown:

I'm such a stickler for table manners and things. If someone's eating with their mouth open I just feel so sick I want to get out of the room. I'm also pretty sensitive to smells. I'll say the room smells nasty but noone else can smell it and I just get so angry for the smallest thing. When people don't shut the door and its draughty I get angry, when people make a mess I get angry, when the door handle falls off and noone puts it back on I get angry. I know its totally irrational and I say the stupidest things, like "Why doesn't anyone else wash up? Its only me that ever washes up!". Well I know other people DO wash up but in my anger I just get stupid. I expect everyone else to do exactly as I do and think exactly as I think :s-smilie:

I'm not a nasty person but sometimes I just become this person I don't like. I don't know how to control my feelings, even though I know they are irrational :frown:

Reply 1

Talya

16

I just think it's the way you're brought up.

My dad is indian and my parents were divorced so I lived with my English mother and he complained how is wasn't clean/was drafty/etc when he picked me up and dropped me off at my mum's house. It's scary to think that I could have been like that too if I lived with him!

Were your parents very 'sensitive' too?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Not really. I used to complain about my dad eating noisily at home. Although they are quite tidy and I'm definatley not used to living in all this mess. Actually scratch that, my bedroom was always messy, but I'm used to living spaces (kitchen, bathroom, living room etc) being tidy. The people I live with are completely different. They don't think twice about eating cereal, then leaving the bowl on the dining table till I tidy it :rolleyes:

See its happening again! Am I just a hypocrite?

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

It's just a mixture of your personality and crappy society. Don't worry about it, I get that sometimes.

Reply 4

alio~

9

Anonymous

Not really. I used to complain about my dad eating noisily at home. Although they are quite tidy and I'm definatley not used to living in all this mess. Actually scratch that, my bedroom was always messy, but I'm used to living spaces (kitchen, bathroom, living room etc) being tidy. The people I live with are completely different. They don't think twice about eating cereal, then leaving the bowl on the dining table till I tidy it :rolleyes:

See its happening again! Am I just a hypocrite?

Yea Im very similar, when my dad starts flicking his nails or puts his hand near me it makes me so mad! I don't mean to sound offending or anything but I think deep down its like a form of wanting control, not sure though.

Reply 5

Ink

12

You should try not to have such high expectations of other people. It'll leave you angry and disappointed 95% of the time.

And tbh, it probably is driving people away if you get angry and yell at/nag people all the time.

Next time you notice something that bothers you, stop, take a few deep breaths and either fix it yourself, walk away, or calmly and politely ask someone else to do it. If, after a few reminders (on separate occasions), they still don't get the hint, you're going to have to learn to grit your teeth and be around a bit of mess once in a while.

Reply 6

Anthonyjm71

9

Anonymous

Not really. I used to complain about my dad eating noisily at home. Although they are quite tidy and I'm definatley not used to living in all this mess. Actually scratch that, my bedroom was always messy, but I'm used to living spaces (kitchen, bathroom, living room etc) being tidy. The people I live with are completely different. They don't think twice about eating cereal, then leaving the bowl on the dining table till I tidy it :rolleyes:

See its happening again! Am I just a hypocrite?

isn't not that usually even with grown ups really :p:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Ink

You should try not to have such high expectations of other people. It'll leave you angry and disappointed 95% of the time.

And tbh, it probably is driving people away if you get angry and yell at/nag people all the time.

Next time you notice something that bothers you, stop, take a few deep breaths and either fix it yourself, walk away, or calmly and politely ask someone else to do it. If, after a few reminders (on separate occasions), they still don't get the hint, you're going to have to learn to grit your teeth and be around a bit of mess once in a while.

Thanks for your honest response. Pos rep coming your way shortly. I guess its just something I will have to deal with for my own sake more than anything. I will try what has been suggested by a couple of people and grit my teeth when I want to moan. To be honest I tend to do that anyway, and then just moan about it to my boyfriend, but he doesn't deserve that and its not his fault I find all these niggling little things affect me so much. I'll try and keep schtum. :smile:

Reply 8

zain88

1

You don't need to grit your teeth and bear it. You'll build up anger that way.

Instead, re-program your mind to think of these things as non-annoying. For example if someone doesn't close the door, say to yourself, someone didn't close the door, so I will close the door. Say it in a neutral way.

Tbh, all those things you listed really make me angry too, but I've learnt to just control myself and see them as non-angry things. Although I went and studied stress inoculation training, and perception. Then I went and re-programmed my mind, armed with this new knowledge and worked on changing my perception 'filters'. If you want to do that, give me a PM and I'll send you some stuff :smile:

Abnormal Sensitivity

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