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annoyed with my parents
they think they can and should control virtually every aspect of my life.
for example, if i want to go somewhere with my friends (eg, shopping), i must tell them a while in advance and they must drop me off there and back. and if i've been longer than they wish (eg, 2 hours!), they start ringing me!
events like sleep overs are a deffo no-no. even if they are educational overnight trips with college!
another thing is that they tell me what i can or cannot wear. if something fits me, they say it is 'too tight'!
i'll have to consider my uni choices in a few months and moving out of town is a definite no! i must either be accepted into my local uni or i cannot go at all.
i've told them so many times, but they never seem to take any notice! they say it's due to cultural and religous reasons (i'm of pakistani origin and my parents are muslim). i've told them i couldn't give a damn, but of course, they believe they know best.
i am not sure what to do now!
for example, if i want to go somewhere with my friends (eg, shopping), i must tell them a while in advance and they must drop me off there and back. and if i've been longer than they wish (eg, 2 hours!), they start ringing me!
events like sleep overs are a deffo no-no. even if they are educational overnight trips with college!
another thing is that they tell me what i can or cannot wear. if something fits me, they say it is 'too tight'!
i'll have to consider my uni choices in a few months and moving out of town is a definite no! i must either be accepted into my local uni or i cannot go at all.
i've told them so many times, but they never seem to take any notice! they say it's due to cultural and religous reasons (i'm of pakistani origin and my parents are muslim). i've told them i couldn't give a damn, but of course, they believe they know best.
i am not sure what to do now!
Oh dear now that is very tricky. All parents worry about their children, but in your case it does seem rather extreme.
I suppose you will have spoken to them about this and how it makes you feel.
Maybe now is a good time to change the situation though. If you want to go to uni, decide which course you want to do and where you want to go. Then present it to them, say that you feel strongly that this would be the best thing for you to do and that although you are aware of their feelings on the subject (that they want you to go to your local uni) you think you have a good argument for going to [the uni of your choice].
In my experience, my parents were not happy with my choice of course at all (Law with Music Technology) and this is what I did and they reluctantly agreed I could g to Keele to do it. However, they were kind of right. I hated the Music Tech and switched to English at the end of the 1st year. But it was my choice, I wanted to do it and I learned from my own mistake.
Of course, it could be that your parents stand their ground and refuse to let you go where you want. In this case maybe more preparation is required. After you finish college, you could get a job and start saving, move into your own house/flat if possible (probably renting, maybe with some friends if possible) and do it on your own. It will show your parents you are responsible and able to cope on your own. If you can afford it, you could put yourself through uni of if you are living 'independantly' from your parents for about 3 years (can anyone confirm the length of time required?) you can apply for a student loan with no means testing of your parents, simply of yourself, which in most cases will mean you get help with uni funding anyway.
Of course it is a lot of work and you need to show your parents that you are responsible and you know what you want. Good Luck.
I suppose you will have spoken to them about this and how it makes you feel.
Maybe now is a good time to change the situation though. If you want to go to uni, decide which course you want to do and where you want to go. Then present it to them, say that you feel strongly that this would be the best thing for you to do and that although you are aware of their feelings on the subject (that they want you to go to your local uni) you think you have a good argument for going to [the uni of your choice].
In my experience, my parents were not happy with my choice of course at all (Law with Music Technology) and this is what I did and they reluctantly agreed I could g to Keele to do it. However, they were kind of right. I hated the Music Tech and switched to English at the end of the 1st year. But it was my choice, I wanted to do it and I learned from my own mistake.
Of course, it could be that your parents stand their ground and refuse to let you go where you want. In this case maybe more preparation is required. After you finish college, you could get a job and start saving, move into your own house/flat if possible (probably renting, maybe with some friends if possible) and do it on your own. It will show your parents you are responsible and able to cope on your own. If you can afford it, you could put yourself through uni of if you are living 'independantly' from your parents for about 3 years (can anyone confirm the length of time required?) you can apply for a student loan with no means testing of your parents, simply of yourself, which in most cases will mean you get help with uni funding anyway.
Of course it is a lot of work and you need to show your parents that you are responsible and you know what you want. Good Luck.
I feel for you, I absolutely do. I know how it feels about all the parties and shopping trips and things you couldn't go on, and about the clothes a bit (Mum thinks I should shop in shops for 40 year olds, I'm 18, and for about six years I had to wear those clothes...)
I would advise you to put your foot down about uni. It may be one hell of a battle, but it will be the most worthwhile one I think you'll ever have. They cannot pick your unis for you, and they cannot reject them for you. If they say no and you apply for six other ones anyway, they can't do a thing. This is a decision they have no part in except to advise. Just put the choices down, and ask your teachers for advice instead of your parents. You will have to face a storm when they find out, but don't let them make you reject all offers.
And from leaving the area to go to uni, everything else will follow. And there's a Muslim girl of Pakistani origin living across from me right now.
I hope I helped...
I would advise you to put your foot down about uni. It may be one hell of a battle, but it will be the most worthwhile one I think you'll ever have. They cannot pick your unis for you, and they cannot reject them for you. If they say no and you apply for six other ones anyway, they can't do a thing. This is a decision they have no part in except to advise. Just put the choices down, and ask your teachers for advice instead of your parents. You will have to face a storm when they find out, but don't let them make you reject all offers.
And from leaving the area to go to uni, everything else will follow. And there's a Muslim girl of Pakistani origin living across from me right now.
I hope I helped...
yeah, i guess you're right.
i've told them that they're going to have to stop being like that. and they tend not to take me seriously, often making a light-hearted joke out of things.
but they'll just have to learn to accept that they cannot control me, even if it's gonna take some time!
thank you both
i've told them that they're going to have to stop being like that. and they tend not to take me seriously, often making a light-hearted joke out of things.
but they'll just have to learn to accept that they cannot control me, even if it's gonna take some time!
thank you both
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