Relationship problems..any advice?

I have been with my partner for nearly two years now and things seem to be getting worse all the time.

When we first got together things were fine and we both saw each other aswell as going out seperately. She was such a laugh to be around and weren't to over the top clingy.

When she told her parents that she was seeing a woman, they hit the roof completely because of their religious background and ended up chucking her out. But ever since they found out she has sort of gone off the rails, I understand her situation of course but it is like I have ended up with the baggage.

I've noticed that she can be quite controlling at times, she gets annoyed when I want to go home from college before she finishes, If I don't see her everyday, If I do or say something that she doesn't like, if I talk to anyone when we are out, she has this absurd idea that everyones after me, she doesnt like me wearing low cut tops, or going out with anyone but her, I hardly have any friends left and basically I felt kinda trapped.

She has temporary accomodation at the mo but is moving into permanent round about July/August. This time she wants me to move in with her. I'm not to sure. I have spoke to her about these problems within the relationship and she said she will change. However, I was thinking of living at uni and when I broke the news the other day she totally flipped and said she couldnt live on her own coz she cant cope and that I'm a bitch and stuff :s-smilie:

I was like ok...

I'm not heartless, I have been through this whole leaving home thing with her and have supported her, I have bought her things for the flat and visited everyday. I just can't help but feel that all the weights on me and I can't cope :frown:

I'm not to sure about her changing...or the moving in thing for that matter.
What do you guys think??

Sorry its abit of an essay! :p:

Cheers xxxx

Reply 1

Jonesy_LJ

It seems to me that you really need to sit down with her and explain all of these things to her explicitly, namely that you won't always be able to see her everyday, you will occasionally want to go out with other people, and when out you will want to speak to people.

If you've been together for two years then there's obviously something holding you together, it seems to me that all you need to do is give yourselves a little more space and perhaps be a little less co-dependant.

Reply 2

Jonquil

wow. well none of this is your fault at all and it seems like she's kind of blaming you? sorry if i've got the wrong end of the stick :s-smilie:

are you living at home? and do you want to move in with her? i really think that you've got to do what you want in this situation and try not to think about what she wants you to do. don't let her make you unhappy, and don't let it affect other things that your doing like school work and uni because thats your whole life that you could be affecting. and even if it seems like you're going to be with her forever, you don't know what might happen and you have to make her fit you and not the other way round.
sorry for a bit of an essay in reply :P and i hope it helps a little bit even if its very garbled :smile:

Reply 3

Sarah-Lou

I live at home at the moment and my original plans were to move into uni, but since she has been kicked out she wants me to live with her.

On some levels I feel selfish because I'd be leaving her after everything she has been through and on other levels I feel like she should be happy for me and let me get on with my life because it doesn't mean we can't be together.

Its putting a massive strain on my A Levels (I'm in last yr of college)

Its doing my head in. lol

Thanks for the replies peeps!

xxxx

Reply 4

Nix!

It sounds like she's being protective, if you look at it objectively; you're the only thing she has at the moment in one sense.

I suggest, despite what she feels, if you want to go and live at university, do just that.