The Student Room Group

Single all my life now all of a sudden two guys in the picture...

Hello everyone,

I am posting because as the title says, there are two guys a the moment who are both very different but I kind of like them in their own ways. I am going with the flow and have been for a few months now but it is getting to the point where I feel that a choice will soon have to be made.

One is quiet and shy ish and I see him more as a friend that a partner. Although I can see that if we got together things would be good, I don't see him in that way at the moment.

Two is more outgoing but has a quiet shy side which he often hides from people. I saw him as a friend originally but then gradually developed feelings for him. We are very different in many ways but get along very well as a result.

I'm just feeling confused as a whole...I'm worried that maybe choosing neither of them is an option. I know I have left details out...for the purposes of cutting a long story short really but any advice tips or a general wake up and smell the coffee comment welcome.

Should I date both of them to see what they are like in that way and then make a choice then? I'm not sure of this...even though they don't know about each other

Guys and girls help meh :frown:

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eeny meeny miney mo..
Reply 2
HeStoleMyCrayon
eeny meeny miney mo..


:rolleyes: Tried that...
Reply 3
The saying 'you sit forever waiting for a bus then 2 come along at once' springs to mind...

It seems to me like you prefer the second guy romantically and you're only considering the first guy because he likes you? You could try dating them both separately but that's a bit of a dangerous ground to walk on because one of them could end up getting a bit too attached only for you to turn around and choose the other guy!

My advice is to go with your gut feeling I guess :s-smilie:
Reply 4
chan89
The saying 'you sit forever waiting for a bus then 2 come along at once' springs to mind...

It seems to me like you prefer the second guy romantically and you're only considering the first guy because he likes you? You could try dating them both separately but that's a bit of a dangerous ground to walk on because one of them could end up getting a bit too attached only for you to turn around and choose the other guy!

My advice is to go with your gut feeling I guess :s-smilie:


You've hit the nail on the head me thinks....that's exactly it! Thank you so much for replying because it is doing my head in. I guess subconsciously I was considering the second guy because he likes me and it is flattering in a sense. I couldn't see myself dating both guys though for the reason you said and that I wouldn't like that to be done to me.

I guess maybe I shall have to wait a little longer. I have put myself out there (so to speak) and so I shall play the waiting game. I just don't know how to take things further. I have emailed, texted, rung and received call (singular) from the second one but other than that I don't want to bombard him with messages etc. I am pretty sure that he has gotten the message by now. I jst don't know if he feels the same and whether I am wasting my time :confused:
Reply 5
Lol I wouldn't bet on him getting the 'message' by now...even hints the size of elephants won't get through to blokes most of the time :rolleyes: (sorry for the massive generalisation on guys if there's any reading this btw).

Try asking the one you're most interested in out some time? Like just out to the cinema or something? That way you can get to know him better AND he might get the hint that you like him.
Reply 6
Its true, most guys are dopey. Anyway, just because you like them doesn't mean you have to go out with them. Date both for a while (not go out with, just go on dates with), see which you prefer, then enjoy.
Reply 7
chan89
Lol I wouldn't bet on him getting the 'message' by now...even hints the size of elephants won't get through to blokes most of the time :rolleyes: (sorry for the massive generalisation on guys if there's any reading this btw).

Try asking the one you're most interested in out some time? Like just out to the cinema or something? That way you can get to know him better AND he might get the hint that you like him.


LOL...I know what you mean about the hints though (although I don't like generalisations either)

Well he kinda said that he like me and I said that I did too. I called him then he rang me a little while after but then since then nothing much has happened. (a few weeks have passed) I have invited him out somewhere but something came up (or so he said) and I guess its just not knowing where I stand with either of them that is troubling me as well.

Im one confused chick :confused:
Reply 8
Yoda
Its true, most guys are dopey. Anyway, just because you like them doesn't mean you have to go out with them. Date both for a while (not go out with, just go on dates with), see which you prefer, then enjoy.


No no I'm in no hurry to jump into anything. A bit of fun and then see where it goes is my mantra. So you wouldnt mind if a girl you were seeing was seeing another guy as well? Just out of interest. I had considered the dating both of them solution but I'm just not sure.

Thank you for replying.
Reply 9
Personally, I'd be fairly surprised if they didn't. It takes me a while to cycle my list, so they might be waiting a while between dates. Again, I'm not like most guys, so from their point of view they may be a little upset if they found out. On the other hand, you're just going on a few dates with them (or hes just a friend if thats what you want to say) so it shouldn't be too big of a problem.
Reply 10
Yoda
Personally, I'd be fairly surprised if they didn't. It takes me a while to cycle my list, so they might be waiting a while between dates. Again, I'm not like most guys, so from their point of view they may be a little upset if they found out. On the other hand, you're just going on a few dates with them (or hes just a friend if thats what you want to say) so it shouldn't be too big of a problem.


SO you think they would mind if they knew that I was seeing them both. Right. Its just the stage or arranging a date and such that is a bit of a problem for me. I'm 20 but not very experienced when it comes to dating as a 20 year old. Childhood relationships are different (by that I mean like relationships in primary school). But its getting them to come out on a date, where to go, and expectations from the date etc. I guess I'm just being overanalytical when it comes to these things but I genuinely am confused.

Maybe its okay to try before I buy? :biggrin: :redface:
Reply 11
Oh, well since you're a little older then its much easier. They probably will understand since they're much more mature. First date will (should) really just be a 30 min thing. Coffee date, go for a walk, something like that. You're really just looking to chat, see if you're compatable, stuff like that.
Reply 12
I think you should give them both a chance, go ona at least one, if not a few 'dates' with them, to let them know your interested, nothings committed yet.

If they find out about each other, maybe they will be a bit miffed, but they dont have reason too, its not imoral to be not sure!
Reply 13
Damn it, I wish even one girl would even remotely look at me. I'm lonely... :frown:
Reply 14
Anonymous
SO you think they would mind if they knew that I was seeing them both.


a)Do they know each other?

b)Would you mind if they were both seeing other girls

c)Do they need to know your thinking of the other possibly in that way?
Reply 15
SpiderBoy
a)Do they know each other?

b)Would you mind if they were both seeing other girls

c)Do they need to know your thinking of the other possibly in that way?


a) No not directly but they may know each other through the others' friends.

b) I think I would mind to a certain extent which is why I have said that I couldn't date them both or had reservations about doing so.

c) No I don't think so (well it would depend on how close we were)
Reply 16
nmt_oli
I think you should give them both a chance, go ona at least one, if not a few 'dates' with them, to let them know your interested, nothings committed yet.

If they find out about each other, maybe they will be a bit miffed, but they dont have reason too, its not imoral to be not sure!


Thanks...I guess I'll give it a go with them to see how things go. I might give it some time again ...'going with the flow'. With both of them busy with uni assignments I wouldn't like to disrupt either of them from their work but when they are finished with them I'll see what happens.

I may have forgotten to add that I have known both of them for a few years from school and college but was never really close with either of them...
Reply 17
I_Surf_Hawaii
Damn it, I wish even one girl would even remotely look at me. I'm lonely... :frown:


:hugs:
Sounds like you're more interested in the second guy :smile:
the opposite = attraction

Look at couples around you... from my observation, the ones that works outs tends to have different interest/ personalities.