The Student Room Group

Am I a comittophobe, or just an ass?

I've been going out with someone for a few weeks, now, and I'm starting to get mixed feelings. My girlfriend is really caring, loving, etc (maybe a bit clingy, but that doesn't bother me much), but I can't help but thinking whether she is the right one for me. In the equivalent period of the last relationship I had, I was totally smitten with the other person, always looking forward to the next time I'd see her, and savouring every moment of it. Now, I do enjoy the time we spend together, but it's not something that I'm constantly looking forward to. I don't know whether I've just changed a bit since the time of my last relationship, or whether I've not really fallen for this person. Maybe this relationship will just take a little longer to come to fruition?

Any opinions on the matter would be really appreciated. I'm definitely going to give it a bit more time before doing anything, and I just hope that I've not made a mistake. I really don't want to that person. argh..
Reply 1
Anonymous
I've been going out with someone for a few weeks, now, and I'm starting to get mixed feelings. My girlfriend is really caring, loving, etc (maybe a bit clingy, but that doesn't bother me much), but I can't help but thinking whether she is the right one for me. In the equivalent period of the last relationship I had, I was totally smitten with the other person, always looking forward to the next time I'd see her, and savouring every moment of it. Now, I do enjoy the time we spend together, but it's not something that I'm constantly looking forward to. I don't know whether I've just changed a bit since the time of my last relationship, or whether I've not really fallen for this person. Maybe this relationship will just take a little longer to come to fruition?

Any opinions on the matter would be really appreciated. I'm definitely going to give it a bit more time before doing anything, and I just hope that I've not made a mistake. I really don't want to that person. argh..



Yep. Give it some time. Different people take more time to get to like/love. I think if it gets to the point where seeing her is NOT what you want to do, not ending it would be cruel. But for the time being, see how it goes.
Reply 2
Why do you have to label yourself as a commitmentphobe or an ass? Maybe you just don't like her as much as you originally thought you did. Maybe you thought you could because she is just a great person. But being great doesn't make great chemistry. Maybe she's just not the right person for you - and that doesn't make you a commitmentphone or an ass. It makes you just like everyone else who has ever been in a relationship and realized it wasn't going anywhere.

Maybe you should stick it out for another week or two and see if anything changes. If it doesn't, well, no need to beat yourself up and give yourself labels over it. It's not like you're running away after she asked you to marry her.
Not every relationship will be the same as the last. Give it time, and see how you feel.
Reply 4
I agree with others.. I took more than 3 months to know a girl, I took 3 months to understand her.. now after 6 months im madly in love with her.. Ul realize after time goes but the time which goes by should be quality time.. if u know wat i mean