Don't feel I deserve to be loved

I'm 21 and I've never had a boyfriend until now. I've been going out with my boyfriend for about a month and he treats me really well, insists on paying for my drinks/meals etc, always walks me home and so on. I mean for most people this is normal but I feel like I don't deserve to be treated so well. When my boyfriend says nice things to me I just get embarrassed and try to change the subject and now he thinks I'm not that into him. I do really like him but nobody has treated me like this before and it just makes me feel awkward.

Reply 1

ghana_gurl

since its for 1st relationship your bound to feel awkward as its not something your used to, enjoy the compliments and try paying him some too

Reply 2

Talya

16

You do deserve it! I felt the same way as you when I first had a bf but you really have to learn to have better self-esteem, it's the only way :smile:

Reply 3

supernova2

11

jesus girls, you just cant win...

Reply 4

bunthulhu

14

OP just think about how lucky you are. You haven't done anything to not deserve it, unlike a lot of people out there who lie and cheat their way through relationships. Many people would give a lot to have what you do, so try and appreciate it before you end up throwing it all away. And make sure he knows you are into him!

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

I'm not complaining. I just feel really awkward and I don't know how to tell him that it isn't anything to do with him. I just have issues with affection - my parents can't stand each other and do nothing but swear at each other and slag each other off all the time - it's just strange to be with someone who actually treats you well.

Reply 6

bunthulhu

14

Anonymous

I'm not complaining. I just feel really awkward and I don't know how to tell him that it isn't anything to do with him. I just have issues with affection - my parents can't stand each other and do nothing but swear at each other and slag each other off all the time - it's just strange to be with someone who actually treats you well.

Tell him that then. Explain that you're not used to it but it doesn't mean you don't appreciate it or feel the same way about him. You should come out of your shell eventually.

Reply 7

Ulala

Just give yourself some time, and thing will sort out ... :smile:

Reply 8

Sam2005

5

I agree with bunthulhu, tell him how you feel or he might get the wrong idea

Reply 9

Love Sheep

1

Have a good heart to heart with him and then bask in the fact that you've found someone nice! :-)

Reply 10

alicia10

I have to agree with everyone else and say that it seems like you've found a really sweet guy there. I was exactly the same with my first boyfriend - I was always playing games, playing hard to get even though we were together - and i nearly pushed him away cause i just make jokes whenever he said anythign nice.
Just go with the flow and explain to him that you're still new to the whole relationship-thing and are feeling a bit low in self-esteem. If he's aas nice as he seems he should understand

Reply 11

LauraJayne

Anonymous

I'm 21 and I've never had a boyfriend until now. I've been going out with my boyfriend for about a month and he treats me really well, insists on paying for my drinks/meals etc, always walks me home and so on. I mean for most people this is normal but I feel like I don't deserve to be treated so well. When my boyfriend says nice things to me I just get embarrassed and try to change the subject and now he thinks I'm not that into him. I do really like him but nobody has treated me like this before and it just makes me feel awkward.

You're bound to be a bit shy when it comes to receiving compliments and such; most people are, especially when it's their first boyfriend.

I was kinda like that when I started dating my boyfriend, although after I started accepting the compliments, and started to realise that this guy really liked me for who I was, then it all seemed fine :smile:

and we've been together over 2 years now!

Just let him know that you don't really know how to deal with his compliments, and reassure him that you're not going off him :biggrin:

Sometimes guys like extra reassurance!

Reply 12

Citation

The first is always the hardest.

But no-one deserves not to be loved! If you feel happy with this relationship then let it flourish, if not just take a step back, but only if you feel comfortable doing do without hurting your own feelings as well as his. Don't be silly though, you deserved to be love like anyone else :smile:

Hope all goes well.

Reply 13

Misogynist

18

supernova2

jesus girls, you just cant win...

Rep list.

Reply 14

Reue

20

Why

Rep list.

Seconded

Reply 15

sufiankane

2

noo reason why you do not deserve it. maybe he actually enjoys 'maintaining' you and doing this to you. if it keeps you happy and you like it and he does then hell yeah!

Reply 16

bacteriophage

3

I know how you feel OP, the exact same thing happened to me. You'll get used to it and more comfortable over time :smile:

Reply 17

theonehitwonder

2

It sounds like you have some self esteem and/or confidence issues. I'm sure you deserve everything coming to you.

Reply 18

Misogynist

18

theonehitwonder

It sounds like you have some self esteem and/or confidence issues. I'm sure you deserve everything coming to you.

Why are you so sure?

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

OP

yea I know I'm being silly. There is no reason not to deserve it - I don't cheat or lie or mess around. I know girls who do that stuff and expect their boyfriends to put up with it. It just takes some getting used to.

Don't feel I deserve to be loved

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