Your Opinions...

Ok, I'm really interested to hear the opinions from males' perspectives, but i'd appreciate all peoples' takes on this...

Ok, imagine your a girl. You meet a guy. You go on a date. The guy has arranged the date and invites you out for dinner and drinks, for which he pays. He walks you home at the end of the evening and doesn't even attempt to go into your house.

He sends you a text the following day, asking: "...would like to see you soon. When is good..." blah blah blah.

So you do. You initially arrange to go to the cinema on a sunday evening. However, there is nothing on at the cinema so you go to the guys house to watch a dvd. As the guy is also a student and shares his house with friends, you're introduced to these friends.

However, the night progresses, you have a bit of a kiss and he asks the girl to stay for the night. She makes it clear that she will not sleep with him, he says thats fine. Incidentally, the girl couldnt be bothered to go home in the end so she agrreed to stay. He offers her enormous jogging trousers and a big tshirt to sleep in, so she's well covered up. The guy reasurres the girl that he is not completely after sex and doesn't try to initiate it. However the girl is anxious of how it will appear to his housemates, so makes him promise to inform them of this. He says, very jokingly, that the girl is "a frigid cow, its not the medeival times" but tells her that he can see that she's @not one of those girls".

So they get up in the morning and insists that she stay for breakfast and that he drive her home. He also arranges to meet for lunch on weds. However, that night he calls the girl at 11 and asks if she'd like to come over. She reminds him that he's sstill not gonna get laid and he says he understands that. But he then confirms the lunch arrangements.

Now, of course this girl isnt me, its my, erm, friend. The girl had a previously bad experience with a guy who she initially liked and who only decided that he wanted a 'sex-only' relationship after three months of making the girl believe that he wanted a relationship. Yes, believe it or not, you can make that false assumption.

So........does the new guy only want one of these 'sex-only' relationships aswell? id be very grateful if anywone would mind analysing 'new-guys' behaviour!......thank you in advance for any replies

Reply 1

justbrowsing

4

surely his inteenstions seem honourable, and as for asking you to stay over, wel the poor guys only human.

Reply 2

FoeGeddaBowDeet

no, he's a rapist - stay well away.

Reply 3

justbrowsing

4

surely not- please dont say this, i can empathise with the girl, HenvY!!!!

Reply 4

Krysia

8

In my personal experience, not all men are like that. It's understandable after your friend's previous experience that she's going to be wary, but sometimes you need to take a chance and try and trust, if you want a relationship to even happen.

Reply 5

General Mullet

Anonymous

Ok, I'm really interested to hear the opinions from males' perspectives, but i'd appreciate all peoples' takes on this...

Ok, imagine your a girl

I stopped reading here, oh the possibilities....

...Seriously though it isn't easy to tell exactly what the guys intentions are but you have made your intentions clear so he should respect that. If he isn't prepared to wait then you'll know he's a bad'un.

What you need to remember though is that the majority of guys want to get laid, this isn't a crime.

Reply 6

IzzyWizzy

10

I don't really see what the guy's done wrong except for that one comment and I wasn't there to hear how it sounded. Doesn't sound like he's pressured her into anything.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

thank you for your replies. Ok, but surely a guy isnt going to have much respect for a girl that slept over on the second (gasp!) date??? Even if she didnt have sex with him?? confusing, or maybe im a terrible prude

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Oh and surely, by saying that you 'want to wait', doenst that imply to a guy that you're expecting a relationship?snt that likely to put them off. trust me, im not an idiot, i just happen to have previously picked a few wrong'uns..

Reply 9

xlouisax

um, not necessarily. plenty of girls sleep with guys on the first date, even first meeting (as was the case with my bf), and go out after that. if the guy likes the girl enough, he will not be put off by behaviour she exhibits.

Reply 10

IzzyWizzy

10

Well.......she is expecting a relationship, isn't she? And I don't see anything wrong with sleeping over on the second date and not having sex - it's just like staying at a mate's house. I'm sure plenty of people do have sex on the second date.....I would personally wait longer than that but it's not like there are rules.

Reply 11

Schmokie Dragon

17

He seems decent. Only time will tell. Although constantly asking for her to stay over could be an indication that he wants summut more.

As for how soon to have sex . . . how does 30 mins after meeting someone sound? How soon people have sex is not a good indication of how serious the r/ship is or will be.

Reply 12

tis_me_lord

14

Schmokie Dragon

As for how soon to have sex . . . how does 30 mins after meeting someone sound? How soon people have sex is not a good indication of how serious the r/ship is or will be.

In my (our) defense... we had been talking a lot on the phone for just under two weeks before meeting, it's not like we were strangers to eachother.

Reply 13

notsoperfect

1

he sounds fine, very respectful. don't over worry yourself about nothing and just enjoy things :smile:

Reply 14

bunthulhu

14

I have to say, I wouldn't find being called a frigid cow amusing under any circumstances. That one line made me a bit suspicious of him!

Reply 15

Clubber Lang

15

No one on here can possibly know without knowing the guy.

Reply 16

Apagg

13

Anonymous

thank you for your replies. Ok, but surely a guy isnt going to have much respect for a girl that slept over on the second (gasp!) date??? Even if she didnt have sex with him?? confusing, or maybe im a terrible prude

You're wrong, stop worrying so much

Reply 17

Pendulum

14

OP, I'd have to suggest a little less paranoia, and to stop thinking into things too much, just enjoy yourself and do what you feel comfortable with, not what you think you should/should not be doing.

Reply 18

Psyk

16

If it was me I'd be fine with waiting a while before the sex takes place. Sounds like he doesn't mind either and actually wants a relationship. Although since I can't read minds it's perfectly possible he just wants to get into your knickers asap then dump you straight afterwards.

Reply 19

alicia10

I have to say I agree - go with the flow for a bit I would and just have some fun - I know that might seem hard sometimes but what it boils down to is that you haven't slept with him and he's still interested so I doubt he wants a sex only relationship. Life's too short to let the past dictate your future so don't judge him on your experience with that other guy.

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