I don't trust/like my extended family/cousins. Advice would be appreciated

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lifeman
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#1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#1
Hi all,

Basically, I hate my extended family. When I mean extended family - I mean my cousins, uncles and aunts.

Before I go into more detail, I want to give some background information about myself and my family. Basically, I would consider my family and myself above 'middle class' and although my family do have money and good credit history and what not - we don't brag about it in public. We are all well reserved and private.
In terms of my life, I don't socialize with many people due to a series of negative events occurring in my life. 5 years ago, a business partner - another relative of ourselves cheated us, and although admittedly we did not lose a lot financially - it really did knock us mentally. My parents had to get jobs at a local supermarket and petrol station to make ends meet. It made me change my whole outlook in life and taught me one thing - trust no one!

Even after my parents went back to work for supermarkets and what not, they were soon able to start up their own business with no other partnership. I feel proud being a part of it, but I am starting to feel a lot of jealously from my extended family. My extended family do have money, but they are very stingy! They never spend and always expect us to spend, even if it's their occasion. As I work during the weekdays in an office, I get tired from all the politics, stress, crap and what not - so my sister is kind enough to provide food for me when I get home.

Given my busy lifestyle, Monday to Friday - I have had relatives call my parents to do them favours, meaning that the looking after of the business is left to me. It really annoys me, because they have cars and licenses and yet my parents and in even some cases, myself - have had to take them or their relatives to places.

All in all, I am sick and tired of it and I don't have much of a case of arguing as in my culture - it is all gossip.

I don't speak to my cousins because I don't like their attitude and personality. I try and avoid them at all costs and after all they never do me any favours - when do I do like 100 for them
2
username568974
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#2
Report 6 years ago
#2
(Original post by lifeman)
Hi all,

Basically, I hate my extended family. When I mean extended family - I mean my cousins, uncles and aunts.

Before I go into more detail, I want to give some background information about myself and my family. Basically, I would consider my family and myself above 'middle class' and although my family do have money and good credit history and what not - we don't brag about it in public. We are all well reserved and private.
In terms of my life, I don't socialize with many people due to a series of negative events occurring in my life. 5 years ago, a business partner - another relative of ourselves cheated us, and although admittedly we did not lose a lot financially - it really did knock us mentally. My parents had to get jobs at a local supermarket and petrol station to make ends meet. It made me change my whole outlook in life and taught me one thing - trust no one!

Even after my parents went back to work for supermarkets and what not, they were soon able to start up their own business with no other partnership. I feel proud being a part of it, but I am starting to feel a lot of jealously from my extended family. My extended family do have money, but they are very stingy! They never spend and always expect us to spend, even if it's their occasion. As I work during the weekdays in an office, I get tired from all the politics, stress, crap and what not - so my sister is kind enough to provide food for me when I get home.

Given my busy lifestyle, Monday to Friday - I have had relatives call my parents to do them favours, meaning that the looking after of the business is left to me. It really annoys me, because they have cars and licenses and yet my parents and in even some cases, myself - have had to take them or their relatives to places.

All in all, I am sick and tired of it and I don't have much of a case of arguing as in my culture - it is all gossip.

I don't speak to my cousins because I don't like their attitude and personality. I try and avoid them at all costs and after all they never do me any favours - when do I do like 100 for them
I truly understand what you mean trust me...I don't trust anyone at all now a days got to think tillion times before I do...just stop thinking about it more u do the more i'll get to u creating more stress...inform ur parents to tell them ur busy u just can't get time out for them etc..sounds like their taking advantage; ur parents n urself got to be strong in these kinds of situations I know its hard to refuse someone but they too got understand everyone r busy in their life one way or another n not able to take time out...just tell them
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stemmery
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#3
Report 6 years ago
#3
Who does like their family? I can't stand mine. I never go to birthdays or family occasions, I just can't be bothered to deal with the fake-ness and judgement.
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lifeman
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#4
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
#4
(Original post by stemmery)
Who does like their family? I can't stand mine. I never go to birthdays or family occasions, I just can't be bothered to deal with the fake-ness and judgement.
Same, my extended family are nothing but fake!

It really annoys me, because in my final year now and will graduate in 2016 - making me the first in my extended family to get a degree. My parents never went to uni or have degrees, but I want to make them and myself proud and get a degree. A degree is like an asset to me and can't be taken away from me, and I quite get the whole idea of going to uni etc. My parents fought hard here and ensured that I always studied. Nothing wrong with that, however my extended family will be extremely jealous when I graduate and I know that, because even though I have direct cousins who are all older than me, none of them tried hard enough.

All in all, there are fakes everywhere. Unfortunately, I'm going through this phase where even my friends are fakes.
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Ayodya
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#5
Report 4 years ago
#5
I totally get you. I never get along with my cousins. They all just try to act big and get everything out of my family. Seriously it's really annoying.
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username2769500
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#6
Report 4 years ago
#6
Extended nuclear middle class family? I'm pretty sure that's the one with the rugby player, police officer and a pastor in it. They're a nightmare I have pretty much estranged all mine as they got me into trouble because I'm bigger than the Lions rugby player. I think just slightly bigger but I don't think I have to go to a gym whereas he does. Also I'm very attractive. They also had a business partner which caused them to go bust because they made a bad decision they were related and I speak to absolutely no one and have no friends and don't care that I don't.

They suck.
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Dannivan13579
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#7
Report 4 years ago
#7
I can't stand my extended family!!!! And I don't trust any of these people and I hope that they quit phoning me and my mom, asking us to come for birthdays, family occasions, the holidays or even to visit them!!!! I don't want them to phone us or come to our house, ever again and neither does my mom, she is elderly and those jerks really upset her and me too!!!! And we are better off without any of those awful relatives, we are much better off without ANY of them and have been for many years, when they never bothered to keep in touch with us or even visit!!!! They want to reconcile with us!!!! And we don't want to reconcile with them!!!! And they have never changed!!!! They are still the same CREEPY JERKS!!!!!!!! AND I DON'T GIVE A **** IF I EVER SEE THEM AGAIN!!!!!!!! AND I AM HOPING AND PRAYING THAT, I NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN!!!!!!!!
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report 4 years ago
#8
I have estranged most of my extended family. And after all of these years they want to make up!! And I don't WANT to make up with them!! For years they never visited, phoned or even sent us a, Christmas card!! They're very fault finding and judgemental!!! And they are the same pieces of **** as they were a long time ago!!! They always want us to visit them, cause they said they already visited us.(My Mom and I). They have only visited us about a few times, in almost 40 years and we never visit them any more.Because when we visited them, when they lived much closer, My mom, dad, brother and I did all of the visiting and they never visited us. We felt it was a one way street and stopped visiting them, phoning them altogether. I feel that the effort should be made on both sides. They never hardly phoned us, so we stopped phoning them! Usually, only time that they phone us, is when there is a death in the family!!! And a lot of those people are no damn good!!!! They take dope and drink too much and we don't go to any of the family occasions because they're loud, drunk or high and there is too much arguing!!!! I have a great circle of friends, who I am far more closer too than most of my relatives and we see a lot of each other and do a lot of interesting things together and we go lots of interesting places together and I have more fun with my circle of close friends, than I usually have, with my relatives!!!! Family doesn't have to be by blood or marriage!!! My family is mostly the circle of friends that I have chosen many years ago and lots of them, feel exactly the same way, as I do!!! I feel that I am better off without ANY of them and I don't want to reconcile, with any of these people!!!! And I hope that they quit trying to reconcile with me and my Mom and she doesn't want anything to do with them either!!!! Those people are sickening and all that I ask is that they leave us alone, when they make an attempt to visit us and they're users too!!!! They only times we ever hear from them is when they ask my Mom and I to do favors for them and that is hardly ever!!!!
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Natattack14
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#9
Report 4 years ago
#9
I think that all you have to say is I reallly hate you all sooooo don’t talk to me and stay out of my god d**n life you s****y prices if crap
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Robjohnson870
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#10
Report 3 years ago
#10
In 2014 my grandma died of Stage 4 Lung Cancer. She was literally my world, her opinion meant more to me then my own parents did. She is my mom's mother, it's a good size family like maybe 30 people. We all lived within close proximity to each other maybe less than 7 miles? Anyways we would see each other every two weeks or less cause of hospital visits with my grandma or visiting her at the same time at her home. We were super close, then my grandma died and everything changed. My grandma owned a business and it was passed down to all her kids and eventually one bought it to keep it in the family. My aunt moved out of state which I'm okay with because the day before my sisters wedding she called and said she no longer will be attending with her family. My uncle and his family came though. Ive been with the same guy 2 1/2 years and they haven't met him, I'm surprised him and I haven't run into my cousins that are still here at Walmart since we live close to each other. My boyfriends family has treated me like I'm apart of it already, I care about his family. It's been years and I haven't seen my cousins in maybe 3 years? I miss them but sometimes families grow apart and that's okay. I only hope they will come to my big day (wedding) when that timing comes in my life. I don't see us really being a family again like how we used too, which my grandma knowing we would all separate would make her sad if she was around still. My point is that family is not always blood, it's who is really there for you and what your comfortable with too!
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Stayalive
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#11
Report 3 years ago
#11
I don't completely hate my extended family, but man do I dislike them. I also hate when people go 'I don't like my family, but at the end of the day they are family' its like family or not if they toxic cut a ***** off. It doesn't help I have had bad pasts with them as a child and have slowly grown to resent them because I have a bad image of them in my mind and horrible memories that will forever stay with me. I have this never-ending emotional cycle tho, where they will do something and I will hate them and then with life moving on I will forget about it but then they will do something ****ed up again and my hatred comes back stronger than ever.
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Blooming Rose
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#12
Report 3 years ago
#12
honestly, i don't even like my family or anybody really but you just get on with it and ignore what ever you don't wish to hear or deal with.
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Mindyp42
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#13
Report 3 years ago
#13
Same with mine. They are all fine pretending to like me?us as long as we are doing what they want and paying for it! I have learnt the hard way and have now distanced myself from it all. I don't miss them, their ways, attitude, selfishness etc. I feel a stronger person for it. I got sick of having the piss taken basically. I only care about my parents, husband and 3 daughters now.
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X_exceed
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#14
Report 3 years ago
#14
Your family are just people you happen to be born with, you are not obligated to like them and you certainly don't have to be the one to spend first. I would suggest becoming distant with them as you get older, they seem like annoying relatives that will hinder your progress.
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Anonymous #2
#15
Report 3 years ago
#15
At least you have them. In terms of distant family I have 4 cousins that live in Canada and I rarely contact and that's it, it's not like I can just rock up there regularly because cost and timings. At least you have a choice to avoid these people, even if you don't want to be with them you have a choice to. It sucks being alone
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python353
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#16
Report 1 year ago
#16
Omg I don't trust them either.... recently a husband of a cousin that I never met before just bought a flight ticket and gave me 3 days notice that he's coming to stay with me for couple weeks.

Im gay living with my partner and not out... this caused me sooooo much awkwardness.... that's when we should say no sometimes
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magentatones22
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#17
Report 1 year ago
#17
I don't like my cousins either. I don't have children yet (but I want children in the future) In case I don't have children in the future- where can I leave my inheritance to? I don't want my cousins to get my inheritance.
Last edited by magentatones22; 1 year ago
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