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Friend has made the biggest mistake.
My friend met this guy on the net.Well they haven't really met up, but he wants to meet up. She is 19, he is 20. They have been speaking to each other for about 6 months now.The problem is, when she showed him the picture of "herself", it wasn't really her,it was her mate's. I don't know why she did it,but she has self-esteem issues and she thinks she is ugly regardless what I say to her.
Another problem is that she has fallen for this boy and they are literally in love with each other. They apparently speak to each other every day and some nights on the phone, but it's stupid because she has not admitted to him that she is not the one in the picture. I have told her to admit the truth to him and show him the real picture of herself, or just dump him and leave everything as it is. She does not know what to do. What do you guys think she should do? Tell him? Don't tell him? Don't tell him and let him find out for himself? Keep on going with normal things and then dump him later on? Tell him the truth as well as showing him a picture of herself then let him decide for himself? I've tried to talk to her about it, but she won't listen.
Another problem is that she has fallen for this boy and they are literally in love with each other. They apparently speak to each other every day and some nights on the phone, but it's stupid because she has not admitted to him that she is not the one in the picture. I have told her to admit the truth to him and show him the real picture of herself, or just dump him and leave everything as it is. She does not know what to do. What do you guys think she should do? Tell him? Don't tell him? Don't tell him and let him find out for himself? Keep on going with normal things and then dump him later on? Tell him the truth as well as showing him a picture of herself then let him decide for himself? I've tried to talk to her about it, but she won't listen.
Reply 1
She has three options;
1) claim the pic is her, but when she was younger/has makeup on/on a good day
2) own up and hope he understands
3) give up on him
If she meets him and it is obvious that she isn't the girl from the picture, I can see him being very pissed off. Maybe he will understand if she explains in person. Maybe not. He has not obligation to. People fall "in love" with an image as much as a personality. If they had been married for 20 years and she had been disfigured in an accident, then he would be expected to still care for her. But if she isn't who she says she is before they even meet? He has no obligation to stick around. In the end, she is lying.
1) claim the pic is her, but when she was younger/has makeup on/on a good day
2) own up and hope he understands
3) give up on him
If she meets him and it is obvious that she isn't the girl from the picture, I can see him being very pissed off. Maybe he will understand if she explains in person. Maybe not. He has not obligation to. People fall "in love" with an image as much as a personality. If they had been married for 20 years and she had been disfigured in an accident, then he would be expected to still care for her. But if she isn't who she says she is before they even meet? He has no obligation to stick around. In the end, she is lying.
Reply 2
LOL at ur signature. love it! oh and bout ur friend.. she shud own up.
Just need to own up and show him her own picture, it's the only way.
OR, here's an elaborate lie:
Say that she was just clearing out her pictures folder on her computer and realised that the one she sent was mislabelled as her and she has just realise she must have accidentally sent one of a friend because it was labelled as her?
Long shot and extremely unlikely to work but hey, you wanted suggestions.
OR, here's an elaborate lie:
Say that she was just clearing out her pictures folder on her computer and realised that the one she sent was mislabelled as her and she has just realise she must have accidentally sent one of a friend because it was labelled as her?
Long shot and extremely unlikely to work but hey, you wanted suggestions.
Reply 4
own up, he'll find out eventually and love and relationships never work if they are based on lies
Zoecb
Just need to own up and show him her own picture, it's the only way.
OR, here's an elaborate lie:
Say that she was just clearing out her pictures folder on her computer and realised that the one she sent was mislabelled as her and she has just realise she must have accidentally sent one of a friend because it was labelled as her?
Long shot and extremely unlikely to work but hey, you wanted suggestions.
OR, here's an elaborate lie:
Say that she was just clearing out her pictures folder on her computer and realised that the one she sent was mislabelled as her and she has just realise she must have accidentally sent one of a friend because it was labelled as her?
Long shot and extremely unlikely to work but hey, you wanted suggestions.
unless she's sent loads of pics
Reply 8
How is she in love with this guy if they have never met?
Reply 10
Owning up is the only thing to do, I'm afraid. When I was younger, I lied about my age on the internet (I was 13 but said I was 16), I thought I was protecting myself but in the end I just hurt lots of people who became my friends. Turns out the ones who kept talking to me after they knew my real age were the nice ones 
If he's a good bloke, he'll understand!
If he's a good bloke, he'll understand!Reply 12
my net buddy did that when we started talking online. it was a really ugly pic too. was relieved when he bought a cam, he's actually very hot. but anyways, she should own up. they'll probably laugh about it after a while.
Reply 13
as someone else asked, how is she in love with him if she never saw him? sorry i still dont get all that internet love thing
well she could just forget about the whole thing, in that case she doesnt need to tell him
but if she doesnt want to end it then she could (as someone else mentioned) say that the picture was mis-labelled...
dunno what else she could do!
well she could just forget about the whole thing, in that case she doesnt need to tell him
but if she doesnt want to end it then she could (as someone else mentioned) say that the picture was mis-labelled...
dunno what else she could do!
Reply 14
Creepy
Why did you go anonymous for that?
Also, i think she should own up.
And on another note, i've noticed most of the problems on here are "My friend". I wonder how many are actually themselves!
Also, i think she should own up.
And on another note, i've noticed most of the problems on here are "My friend". I wonder how many are actually themselves!
HEY i wondered that too. my friend is sucha cliche
Reply 15
Hooke's Law
as someone else asked, how is she in love with him if she never saw him? sorry i still dont get all that internet love thing
how can a papercut be painful? you gotta feel it to believe it
Reply 17
i think she should still say the picture is hers, your friend is a genius! I mean if the guy she meets up wherever n she says this is me, gets a good icebreaker plus the guy knows if he fell for her or wasit just lust. Still your friends sounds like a joker, if it was me i will say yer thats my friend and if he gets reli weird clammy and trying to run away tell your friend to tell the guy to step down cos then she is way too good enough for him.
Reply 18
If she looks like the pic she sent (or alike enough to pretend, even if it involves claiming she dyed her hair etc) then just go with the lie. Otherwise, own up.
Reply 19
Be totally blunt here: is the girl in the pic better looking? And if so, by how much?
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