The Student Room Group

I wish I was a Virgin.

I have been thinking a lot about my sexual experience and I can think of only one person I have ever loved. I don't regret having sex with him but i wish that I had been a virgin when I met him.

I know there's nothing i can do in the sense that I can't turn back time. I just have been thinking about ways I can cleanse myself of all the things I am ashamed of.

I just really hate myself for having sex with people I wasn't in love with. I didn't know what love was until I met this particular man. I didn't even think I was capable of love. Now i know i am and my past haunts me.

I repent thoroughly for my sins. I know it sounds absurd as something like attending confession will not undo what is done, but what can i do?

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Reply 1
This may sound stupid but if you feel bad why not go to confession at your local Church :p:
I mean you can tell your feelings there and the Priest will not even know who you are :smile: to may help by talking about this.
Reply 2
When you have it you want to get rid of it, when you lose it you want it back :rolleyes:
I'm not sure there is much you CAN do. Just try to think that the experiences were different in the past to what you have now.

If it wasn't for mistakes I'd made in the past, I wouldn't know who I was properly. A friend of mine slept with someone she didn't like, and that was the reason why she realised she loved someone else.

You can't turn back time, but you can change what you do in the future, which it sounds like you've already done:biggrin:
BhArJ
When you have it you want to get rid of it, when you lose it you want it back :rolleyes:

True....
It sounds like your feeling guilty, maybe that trip to the Church isn't such a bad idea. Or whatever religion. Or a friend. Or Samaritans.
Look at the good side, now you know you treasure sex, and know that you love this man.
Reply 6
Enchanté
This may sound stupid but if you feel bad why not go to confession at your local Church :p:
I mean you can tell your feelings there and the Priest will not even know who you are :smile: to may help by talking about this.


That's what I was thinking but it's perhaps hypocritical as I am not really religious. With time i seem to be able to erase sinful memories faster than I create them, but i am still haunted by the fact that I haven't led and entirely virtuous life.
Reply 7
Does it make me a bad person to have had sex with several people i didn't love and 2 people who i didn't really know at all?
Reply 8
BhArJ
When you have it you want to get rid of it, when you lose it you want it back :rolleyes:


That is so true!
Love, only you can answer that! It's how you feel that matters. I'm Christian (not some Inquisiton type fundamentalists you get around here), so I would want to ask for forgiveness. But from your posts you sound like you feel bad about it. All you can do now, is ensure you don't do things you'll regret in the future!
Reply 10
I feel as though I am a bad person for having sex with people i haven't been in love with/married to. I am not religious especially, but I do have to answer to myself and in myself I feel as though I have failed to uphold the morals instilled in me by my parents and by the intelligence i had developed in earlier years.
Reply 11
Gosh I don't.

You don't have to be in love to have healthy, fun sex. Don't let other people's attitudes make you regret your decisions, you took them because you chose to.
Life's too short to have regrets.
Reply 12
Zoecb
Gosh I don't.

You don't have to be in love to have healthy, fun sex. Don't let other people's attitudes make you regret your decisions, you took them because you chose to.
Life's too short to have regrets.


I wish i could recondition my mind to think like that then maybe i would stop hating myself.
Reply 13
You could have surgery to reattach your hymen.
Reply 14
Ever heard of sex simply for the enjoyment? Why are you imposing this silly notion that "love" means so much when you obviously didn't really think that before?

Why worry about the past? It will do you no good whatsoever, if you feel bad about not loving your previous sexual partners make sure you love the ones you have in the future!

I'm not particularly proud of the way i lost my virginity but it was an experience nevertheless and i have learnt many lessons. Tbh if i had not had those experiences and others since i probably would still be the person i really disliked in my midteens.

Your life in the end should be about what you want, not matching yourself up to some awful relationship cliche. Of course have goals of what you want to be but don't worry if that doesn't always work out.
If you didn't love them then it didn't mean anything and it was just simple, no strings attatched sex...which there is nothing wrong with! Just chill out, let the past be the past and stop dwelling on it-you can't change it so why stress?!?!?

We've all probably slept with someone that we now regret sleeping with...but as they say: hindsight is a wonderful thing! Don't stress and look towards your future!

x
Reply 16
cheekylittleminx
If you didn't love them then it didn't mean anything and it was just simple, no strings attatched sex...which there is nothing wrong with! Just chill out, let the past be the past and stop dwelling on it-you can't change it so why stress?!?!?

We've all probably slept with someone that we now regret sleeping with...but as they say: hindsight is a wonderful thing! Don't stress and look towards your future!

x


Thank you.
Anonymous
I have been thinking a lot about my sexual experience and I can think of only one person I have ever loved. I don't regret having sex with him but i wish that I had been a virgin when I met him.

I know there's nothing i can do in the sense that I can't turn back time. I just have been thinking about ways I can cleanse myself of all the things I am ashamed of.

I just really hate myself for having sex with people I wasn't in love with. I didn't know what love was until I met this particular man. I didn't even think I was capable of love. Now i know i am and my past haunts me.

I repent thoroughly for my sins. I know it sounds absurd as something like attending confession will not undo what is done, but what can i do?


Ah well. Nothing you can do. Just move on.
I have the EXACT same problem and I don't think there's much you can do about it apart from never be so stupid again. I also try and think that things happen for a reason because to be honest if I hadn't been so stupid in the past, I would never have met and fallen in love with my bf in the first place I don't think.
Reply 19
BhArJ
When you have it you want to get rid of it, when you lose it you want it back :rolleyes:

When man is at home, he dreams of adventure. When man is on an adventure he dreams of home. It's Human nature unfortunately :p: