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Incapable of being happy

After thinking about my life it's dawned on me and i'm really starting to think i'm incapable of being happy. Times when i've felt some happiness have been very short-lived and just disappeared as quickly. I had someone enter my life and perhaps it was happiness but it's now gone as quickly and it's just i'm left feeling nothing. I don't actually know what causes happiness for me and it's really starting to become troublesome when i see other people enjoying themselves. I do like playing music, but that's more to let some anger out and that makes me a bit more relaxed - but happy by no means.

Being unable to feel happy doesn't necessarily mean i'm just sitting around feeling all depressed - i just seem to go by feeling nothing with a few blips down and a few up. I know it's not exactly healthy and i'm going to try some new things in the next week possibly but at this stage in my life i'm just getting no pleasure from life. Sometimes i just wish everything was as simple for me and not something i have to fight for every day. I'd appreciate any opinions or anyone that can empathise with how i feel.

Thanks :smile:

Reply 1

Yellowmarshmellow

I feel the same as you sometimes, i'll go out with friends and be happy but then return home and feel really depressed and wonder how anyone else can be so happy all of the time - I guess the people who are really happy are the one's who don't dwell and tend to move on and see everything positively because life's too short to be sitting around feeling sad. It sounds like you're thinking too much, it will drive you insane if you start analysing your life because I do it loads and i'm v unhappy most of the time. I think it would be best if you talk about how you feel with friends and hopefully the new things you're starting will make you happier and bring something different to your life. It could just be a faze so see what happens otherwise maybe see someone about how you feel. Good luck :smile:

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

I can't remember the last time I was happy. I have things I like doing, but I don't really derive happiness from them. The nearest I've got to happiness is a vague feeling of satisfaction - my A-levels for instance - job well done. All it did was give me a slightly superior feeling which died about the day after. I feel as if I've been dealt a pretty crap hand in life, whereas I realise that there would be many people that would kill for the opportunities that I've had.

Reply 3

pollystyrene07

1

you know what, i feel exactly the same (i've just posted a thread titled 'depression' lol) well to be honest, i have had a lot of happy times in my life but this year has been the worst by far. i go out once/twice a week but like you, when i come back i just feel depressed & down. it's starting to affect my relationship with my bf aswell. he doesn't know anything about how i feel but i'm starting to look into things too deeply like if he doesn't txt me all day i think he's gone off me, just little things like that. i know it's all down to insecurity but i dunno why i feel like this.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Problem is i'm kind of lacking in the friends department at the moment which is something i need to resolve. I just feel like it's all slipping out of my hands and i make effort to get in touch but get nothing. I don't feel that there's one person i could actually comfortably speak to about such matters. (One reason i was at counselling earlier on in the week, but that was because i thought it'd help to speak about things and i don't intend to go back as i've tried it before and would feel it's a step backwards.) It could all just be a faze, but it's something i've had to deal with for many years now and that's why i'm just really starting to question whether happiness is something i can really strive for and to have relationships.

I don't get happy from doing well in exams. When i won some money i did feel happy but that lasted all of about 10 minutes

Reply 5

Captain Haddock

18

Anonymous

liar.

Just kidding, I'm sure quite a few people can relate to what you're describing though

Reply 6

LostRiot

14

Few people, are ever happy for any length of time, happiness is really just being content with your life, so there may be times when everything is great, but that's usually only because you're not thinking about everything that sucks so much, the vast majority of the time things seem pretty bad for pretty much everyone, but then you always have to good times to look forward to, which makes the bad times not so bad. Happiness definitely isn't found on internet forums though....

Oh, and if you're between the ages of 13 and 18, then everything is crap, go and listen to some emo and embrace it.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

LostRiot

Happiness definitely isn't found on internet forums though....

Oh, and if you're between the ages of 13 and 18, then everything is crap, go and listen to some emo and embrace it.

That's not completely true. Internet forums have done good for people and I know of people that have met and made friends because of them. But i do agree that sitting in front of a computer won't give all the answers and is no substitute for social interaction.

Unfortunately i fall out of the age category so i'll just have to find something else .

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

It would help if you could tell us a bit more about your kind of lifestyle, then maybe we can suggest more specific ideas...e.g. you at uni? working? what are you trying at the moment (i.e. hobbies)? male or female?

Reply 9

FreedomtoFascism

Anonymous

After thinking about my life it's dawned on me and i'm really starting to think i'm incapable of being happy. Times when i've felt some happiness have been very short-lived and just disappeared as quickly. I had someone enter my life and perhaps it was happiness but it's now gone as quickly and it's just i'm left feeling nothing. I don't actually know what causes happiness for me and it's really starting to become troublesome when i see other people enjoying themselves. I do like playing music, but that's more to let some anger out and that makes me a bit more relaxed - but happy by no means.

Being unable to feel happy doesn't necessarily mean i'm just sitting around feeling all depressed - i just seem to go by feeling nothing with a few blips down and a few up. I know it's not exactly healthy and i'm going to try some new things in the next week possibly but at this stage in my life i'm just getting no pleasure from life. Sometimes i just wish everything was as simple for me and not something i have to fight for every day. I'd appreciate any opinions or anyone that can empathise with how i feel.

Thanks :smile:

I know exactly how you feel, and so will many others, your definatly not alone on this one!

First off, don't let others around you define what happiness means to you. Do the things YOU want to do that brings you happiness. For me, this is playing the guitar and listening to music, or being with close friends.

Second, don't think that all is lost, or you have been delt a bad hand in life. There are millions out there who struggle just to survive, and have to deal with going hungry day after day...i know you won't want to think this if your unhappy, but if you have somewhere to live and food to eat, your extremely lucky and u should be thankful for that much :smile:

Lastly, don't think having lots of friends means happiness! There are so many fake people out there today who just love to know everyone possible, yet don't actually care about the individual friendships. Trust me, even just having 1 or 2 close friends is better than having 50+ semi-friendships.

Failing all of that, your family will always love you no matter what, and they can bring you happiness.

The one thing that always genuinely makes me happy is seeing my little brother and just being around him.

Reply 10

Wasabi Tea

Anonymous

After thinking about my life it's dawned on me and i'm really starting to think i'm incapable of being happy.

It's interesting you should say this, as I've been wondering if I'll ever find happiness in life myself. I mean, it's not like my life is bad - hell, I know for a fact that I'm spoilt rotten XD - but I just can't seem to feel happy for all that long. Maybe it's because I'm spoilt that I feel this way, I don't know... I guess, though, I do feel like my life is rather meaningless. I know I've made the right choices when it comes to education and stuff, but when I think of the future, it all just seems so completely pointless, despite the fact that I'll probably end up having almost everything I want. Meh. I'll keep on living, though, until Mother Nature decides She's had enough of me. :smile:

Maybe one day I'll find meaning in my life and I'll be happy knowing I'm not just taking up space. =D

Do you think that a feeling of pointlessness could be part of your problem? If so, well, I'm hoping that finding a career in which I'll be helping people might help me feel like my life actually has meaning... can you think of some sort of goal that might possibly give you happiness?

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

aww...thanks for that. I hear what you're saying.

Trouble is i don't know what brings happiness for me, that's the problem. I had someone in my life which brought some happiness but it went as quickly. I'm currently at uni and just going to try and get a bit more involved in just random things to get out and meet some more people and maybe make a few friends. Just thought of trying random stuff like circus skills, maybe skydiving - that sort of thing (the things i wouldn't normally do and a bit different).

As i said i'm not unhappy - i'm just not happy if that makes sense. It's more of an emptiness and while i do appreciate that i'm fairly intelligent and at a reasonable university and hopefully on my way to getting a good degree i'd give all that up just to have a few close friends (even one) that i could speak to about anything and feel completely comfortable with. I don't even know where my time goes during the day and often i just find myself watching and taking part on the stock market (although it's more of a watching now while in the library etc.)

Sometimes i just prefer to not realise the realities of the lack of happiness in my life, but i guess to confront such things is a step in the right direction.

Reply 12

kad

i think i knw wot u mean. i feel like u do on & off. & i guess it's not helpful if, as u say yr lacking in the friends dept. i would suggest excercise. it really is helpful in making u feel good, even if it is 4 jst a short period of time. it also focusses yr attention. pls dnt giv up tho & wrk hard 2 maintain those friendships u DO have.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Wasabi Tea

Do you think that a feeling of pointlessness could be part of your problem? If so, well, I'm hoping that finding a career in which I'll be helping people might help me feel like my life actually has meaning... can you think of some sort of goal that might possibly give you happiness?

Also interesting you should say that :p:

Well, i've been job-hunting a bit for after university and haven't been that successful and didn't have time to apply for everything i wish i had. I've got 2assessment days for 2 of the top 4 accountancy firms but i'm really starting to wonder if it's something i want to do. I was thinking of after uni just going to kenya or some country and actually doing something for people that'd help them out for about a year and apply to some more jobs. But i was also thinking of just trying to make a lot of money very quickly then i'll retire from the stereotypical 9-5 working life and do something that brings some value and meaning to people. But at the moment i'm not doing too well with the finances so it's a bit of delusional thinking at the moment. I'd like to help out people, but i'd also like the lifestyle where i don't have to worry about my next pay cheque or to question whether i can afford to do something and have money restricting me.

I guess a goal to give me happiness would be to have the stereotypical, wife, family and to be able to live comfortably. But i'm just being idealistic seeing as i've not even had a relationship and i was just hoping that i wouldn't have to look for long to find that person.

Reply 14

Draculara

4

OP sorry your feeling like this, just read your last post - maybe acountancy isn't something to commit yourself to when your feeling so fed up...? You mentioned going to Kenya - I used to live in Kenya and I can honestly say that it was the most amazing time I have ever had. Going out there could really help you, it is the most beautiful country and would at least make you feel something. It is a very emotional experience going there and maybe it would reawaken some feelings?! I went through a period of time just feeling nothing. Go away for a while, just be away from your normal life, you might be surprised at how much it changes things. Good luck

Incapable of being happy

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