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no friends at Uni after a term and a half
hey!
I'm starting my second semester at university and I haven't been able to make any friends yet. I've spoken to about 4 people since i got here, but that's more of like they'll sit with me in lectures if they see me.
I live in colleges (which probably narrows your guessing as to where i am, down quite a bit) and so far i haven't spoken to anyone while having meals. so i look like a loner while eating. maybe it looks like i dont mind but i do feel sad at heart. I'm not ugly or unapprochable in any way, but i catch people looking me up and down occassionally and it's not because i dress badly. Everyone's got their own groups and noone's in the same boat as me. any advice on conversation starters? or to avoid weird looks?
I'm starting my second semester at university and I haven't been able to make any friends yet. I've spoken to about 4 people since i got here, but that's more of like they'll sit with me in lectures if they see me.
I live in colleges (which probably narrows your guessing as to where i am, down quite a bit) and so far i haven't spoken to anyone while having meals. so i look like a loner while eating. maybe it looks like i dont mind but i do feel sad at heart. I'm not ugly or unapprochable in any way, but i catch people looking me up and down occassionally and it's not because i dress badly. Everyone's got their own groups and noone's in the same boat as me. any advice on conversation starters? or to avoid weird looks?
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Join groups/ societies at your uni, try and get a role within the student union.
Within your halls maybe you come across as unapproacable, could be nerves causing this, look cheerful and smile and if you see someone alone you could say hello to them, then if they reply warmly, ask them questions. You never know..
Within your halls maybe you come across as unapproacable, could be nerves causing this, look cheerful and smile and if you see someone alone you could say hello to them, then if they reply warmly, ask them questions. You never know..
I think he/she means catered halls of residence which might not be within the uni itself.
I disagree though, uni is one of the best places to make friends, especially as this person has another 2 1/2 years here. Ive come across people who have ended up dropping out because they were so depressed at not making friends while at uni.
I disagree though, uni is one of the best places to make friends, especially as this person has another 2 1/2 years here. Ive come across people who have ended up dropping out because they were so depressed at not making friends while at uni.
I have no idea what you mean when you say you live in colleges.
Perhaps a university that has a collegiate system, it narrows it down to basically Oxbridge and Durham in the UK. I'd guess anon was at......Cambridge?
the_world_was_a_beachball
Perhaps a university that has a collegiate system, it narrows it down to basically Oxbridge and Durham in the UK. I'd guess anon was at......Cambridge?
I was thinking intercollgiate halls, like the ones within the University of London, most of them are catered aswell.
i kinda don't have time to do anything outside my course (which takes up all my time i have).
I do try to smile, but when nobody ever looks at you or even gives you a nod, it's quite disheartening. I suppose the main problem was that i dind't have a fresher's week as i'm a transfer student and so didn't meet any of the people who were willing to make new friends. and the ones who are here, are probably friendly enough but not out to make friends.
I do try to smile, but when nobody ever looks at you or even gives you a nod, it's quite disheartening. I suppose the main problem was that i dind't have a fresher's week as i'm a transfer student and so didn't meet any of the people who were willing to make new friends. and the ones who are here, are probably friendly enough but not out to make friends.
yes colleges as in oxbridge or durham style
Anonymous
i kinda don't have time to do anything outside my course (which takes up all my time i have).
I do try to smile, but when nobody ever looks at you or even gives you a nod, it's quite disheartening. I suppose the main problem was that i dind't have a fresher's week as i'm a transfer student and so didn't meet any of the people who were willing to make new friends. and the ones who are here, are probably friendly enough but not out to make friends.
I do try to smile, but when nobody ever looks at you or even gives you a nod, it's quite disheartening. I suppose the main problem was that i dind't have a fresher's week as i'm a transfer student and so didn't meet any of the people who were willing to make new friends. and the ones who are here, are probably friendly enough but not out to make friends.
I think the dilema is really that you wished you'd made friends in your halls, most the people I met during freshers week werent the ones that I became friends with. I guess most of them were from halls of residents.
The fact you have little time for anything outside of your course is worrying, you should have time, you are only in the first year and no course takes up all of your time anyway. I think you need to schedule time away from youre course for joining societies ect..
i'm actually in my second year but that's not really the point.
a few people have spoken to me quite snottily and passed very strange comments on offering to shake hands like: "oh we don't do that unless we want something"
a few people have spoken to me quite snottily and passed very strange comments on offering to shake hands like: "oh we don't do that unless we want something"
Forget them then they sound spiteful, when I was in the first year living in hall there were these two girls who were really snotty like that, but worst theyd make sly, nasty comments whenever I was in the same room as them. Makes my blood boil just thinking of how those ******* treated me.
layla*
OP: 
Sorry to hear that. Perhaps just smile and introduce yourself when you meet others. ^o) Also maybe ask their interest or tell them what you thought of the last lecture or seminar or something...
Sorry to hear that. Perhaps just smile and introduce yourself when you meet others. ^o) Also maybe ask their interest or tell them what you thought of the last lecture or seminar or something...I could but noone is on their own, so it would mean interrupting people to ask them what they thought.
Anonymous
I could but noone is on their own, so it would mean interrupting people to ask them what they thought.
Hmm, that's true. But take your time and have a look around. I'm sure there must be some friendly faces in the crowd if you search harder. It might take a while, but you'll find someone eventually.
I'm kind of in a similar situation to you. Not exactly the same, I do talk to people, but I don't feel like I have any close friends. At the beginning of the year I was more friends with the people I live with, but I feel quite cut off from them now because I spend so much time working since like you, I'm doing a very time consuming course (and they are arts students 
) also I tend to try and work really hard during the week so I can see my bf who is at another uni at week ends -which cuts me off even more... now I'm closer to people on my course than the people I live with because we spend more time together.
Anyhow, enough with my life story! That was a bit of a long winded way of me trying to say you're not alone! As for what to do about it... are there any communal areas around? Do you have small kitchens in your residence? You could go make yourself a cup of tea as a break from work occasionally and sit in there. Often people come in and you could talk to them cos eg there might just be the two of you. Walking to lectures with people is also a good way to get to know them. You all must have to leave at similar times -if your walking with someone it seems fairly natural to talk to them. Somehow seems less pressured than if your in a canteen. How about going and sitting in the common room... could maybe watch some TV eg if you watch neighbours theres bound to be other people watching it too, you can pass the odd comment on whats happening and that gets you over the first hurdle of talking to them. What other people have said about societies too... I know you don't think you have time, but since you would be new in the society, people would make an effort to talk to you. Dunno if that helps...
Btw I'm at a collegiate uni too... if we were at the same one we could be friends lol!
) also I tend to try and work really hard during the week so I can see my bf who is at another uni at week ends -which cuts me off even more... now I'm closer to people on my course than the people I live with because we spend more time together.Anyhow, enough with my life story! That was a bit of a long winded way of me trying to say you're not alone! As for what to do about it... are there any communal areas around? Do you have small kitchens in your residence? You could go make yourself a cup of tea as a break from work occasionally and sit in there. Often people come in and you could talk to them cos eg there might just be the two of you. Walking to lectures with people is also a good way to get to know them. You all must have to leave at similar times -if your walking with someone it seems fairly natural to talk to them. Somehow seems less pressured than if your in a canteen. How about going and sitting in the common room... could maybe watch some TV eg if you watch neighbours theres bound to be other people watching it too, you can pass the odd comment on whats happening and that gets you over the first hurdle of talking to them. What other people have said about societies too... I know you don't think you have time, but since you would be new in the society, people would make an effort to talk to you. Dunno if that helps...
Btw I'm at a collegiate uni too... if we were at the same one we could be friends lol!
yay! thank you for your very sensible advice!
unfortunately the jcr of my college doesnt have a tv.... what's going on?!
the kitchenette isn't big enough for sitting in so that's out of the question.
and as yourself i spend my weekends away at my gf's uni
unfortunately the jcr of my college doesnt have a tv.... what's going on?!
the kitchenette isn't big enough for sitting in so that's out of the question.
and as yourself i spend my weekends away at my gf's uni
You lead a hard life, my friend.
Spare yourself some free time for some recreation and join some societies is my best bet to get yourself some friends who share the same interest as you. Or if you like studying, knock on your next door neighbour's door andin hope that they'd like to study with you. Best of luck!
Spare yourself some free time for some recreation and join some societies is my best bet to get yourself some friends who share the same interest as you. Or if you like studying, knock on your next door neighbour's door andin hope that they'd like to study with you. Best of luck!
layla*
You lead a hard life, my friend.
Spare yourself some free time for some recreation and join some societies is my best bet to get yourself some friends who share the same interest as you. Or if you like studying, knock on your next door neighbour's door andin hope that they'd like to study with you. Best of luck!
Spare yourself some free time for some recreation and join some societies is my best bet to get yourself some friends who share the same interest as you. Or if you like studying, knock on your next door neighbour's door andin hope that they'd like to study with you. Best of luck!
hehehe! i would really if could. it's just i don't find any free time at all during the day. maybe because i'm not a fast worker:s
the guy next door is currently entertaiting a bunch of his friends and making plenty of noise... that's why i'm on here and not sleeping!
Nightmare! No TV! Thats insane!
And small kitchenettes suck too... -the initials of your residence aren't HC by any chance are they?! Guessing the probability of that is extremely small but...
And small kitchenettes suck too... -the initials of your residence aren't HC by any chance are they?! Guessing the probability of that is extremely small but...
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