Is this unreasonable for my bf to ask or is it the norm/expected in a relationship? Watch

Anonymous #1
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I can't sleep proper when I stay over at my boyfriends I work all week and stay at his Friday and saturday nights. Now he wants me to stay Wednesday nights too because on Thursdays I only have an afternoon shift rather than a morning one. Would you say this is a lot to be staying over or is it typical in a relationship? I just feel I have no time at home to be by myself.
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elitepower
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Why don't you just talk to him if you dislike this idea?
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Kevin De Bruyne
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I can't sleep proper when I stay over at my boyfriends I work all week and stay at his Friday and saturday nights. Now he wants me to stay Wednesday nights too because on Thursdays I only have an afternoon shift rather than a morning one. Would you say this is a lot to be staying over or is it typical in a relationship? I just feel I have no time at home to be by myself.
If the days you're already sleeping there aren't working out for you, then you're right to say no to adding more days to that. You could either be honest and tell him how you feel, or try to put a positive spin on it and say something like you want to make the days you're already there more special. And most importantly, in a relationship you need some time apart to be healthy.
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there's too much love
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Anyone else think this thread was going in a verryyy different direction :P .
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Danz123
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(Original post by there's too much love)
Anyone else think this thread was going in a verryyy different direction :P .
:lol: me! As soon as I saw the title I thought it must be anal he asked for, but then that's just my dirty mind... xD
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by elitepower)
Why don't you just talk to him if you dislike this idea?
Because he will say that I don't want to be with him if I'm not willing to stay over he did it when I only stayed Friday night (which is what I prefer really just once a week) so I started staying 2 nights to please him.
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Liquid Harvest
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He can't be making such demands. If you need time away from him, that's fair. If you'd rather spend time alone than be with him, that's absolutely fine and he should accept that.
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Gax
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here's a crazy idea: tell him how you feel :gasp:
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puddingbot
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Well I don't think it's necessarily unreasonable of him to ask but it's also not unreasonable of you to say no, good quality of sleep is so important and not getting it will impact on other areas of your life. Have you told him you find it difficult to sleep well when you stay there? That might reassure him that it's not a case of you "not wanting to spend time with him" or whatever, it's just a practical issue.
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sliceofcake
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Because he will say that I don't want to be with him if I'm not willing to stay over he did it when I only stayed Friday night (which is what I prefer really just once a week) so I started staying 2 nights to please him.
Hi OP! Obviously it depends on the individual relationship. I remember being in a similar situation with my ex though. He would often ask for me to stay at his more often, and after a while he expected me to be there at least 3 days a week. I sort of hated it because it wasn't home, I started to miss being at home as much. I kept going along with it to make him happy because I thought it didn't mean THAT much to me, I guessed. It was the first issue of many, really. I think if I was in that position again now, then I'd tell them that my issue is absolutely not with them, but just that I wanted time for myself in my own home.
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