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bullying
hi,
when i was younger i was bullied a lot - and hence had some instilled prejudices against some people just because of the way they look. Its not my fault, its just that the bullies were always of the same type, they dressed the same way and they looked the same way as well.
Well, i am at uni now, and i have grown to remove those prejudices, but i still find it weird when my friends ask me to join them later on, simply coz my friends have those portrayals of the bullies from my childhood. I don't drink, and clubbing ain't my thing, i try to sound nice and turn them down, but i think doing it too many times could come off as a bad signal, and i don't want it to.
How do i get over the prejudices and accept that its normal that these people want me to go out with them, and how do i reject the offer nicely when i don't want to go out with them? [coz its always clubbing]
any comments and help is appreciated
thank you
when i was younger i was bullied a lot - and hence had some instilled prejudices against some people just because of the way they look. Its not my fault, its just that the bullies were always of the same type, they dressed the same way and they looked the same way as well.
Well, i am at uni now, and i have grown to remove those prejudices, but i still find it weird when my friends ask me to join them later on, simply coz my friends have those portrayals of the bullies from my childhood. I don't drink, and clubbing ain't my thing, i try to sound nice and turn them down, but i think doing it too many times could come off as a bad signal, and i don't want it to.
How do i get over the prejudices and accept that its normal that these people want me to go out with them, and how do i reject the offer nicely when i don't want to go out with them? [coz its always clubbing]
any comments and help is appreciated
thank you
well i just don't like clubbing period - it could be anyone asking me, i wouldn't go
but its just the fact that i find it hard to get the portayals of my bullies outta my mind when i see my friends, they don't know about the bullies quite obviously, i imagine this portayal thing is fading a bit, but sometimes it comes back
but its just the fact that i find it hard to get the portayals of my bullies outta my mind when i see my friends, they don't know about the bullies quite obviously, i imagine this portayal thing is fading a bit, but sometimes it comes back
To be honest I'm the same about clubbing. I don't drink either and clubbing isn't really my thing. 
Its good that the image is fading from your mind but maybe it would help if you replaced the bad image with some really good ones with your friends. Instead of going clubbing go out for a meal, go for coffees, go to a theme park, things like that. Then hopefully when you look at your friends and picture the bullies you will be able to block the image from your mind with great things you've done with your pals instead?
Its good that the image is fading from your mind but maybe it would help if you replaced the bad image with some really good ones with your friends. Instead of going clubbing go out for a meal, go for coffees, go to a theme park, things like that. Then hopefully when you look at your friends and picture the bullies you will be able to block the image from your mind with great things you've done with your pals instead?
well i guess the real problem is that there isnt much to do over here - coz there is nly the mall, and dinners have their limits! :P:
and plus the one and only time i went clubing was with them and it was the pits, but the good after that over ruled that
i duuno, i just wish that there was an easier way to overcome it quickly
and plus the one and only time i went clubing was with them and it was the pits, but the good after that over ruled that
i duuno, i just wish that there was an easier way to overcome it quickly
hmm... seems like it - hopefully they won't exist anymore!
thanks pinkpinkuk
thanks pinkpinkuk
If they ask you to go clubbing, politely decline but another time why don't you invite them to do something you like. You sound just like my brother, he's not into clubbing so if his mates are going he doesn't but then another time he will invite them to join him for a quiet drink at the pub or karaoke or even a dance class. cos that what my brother likes. It's good for people to broaden their horizens outside the club world. Thats what people like you and my brother are for.
I know my brother hates clubs so i don't drag him to them and force him to try enjoy himself instead i suggest things that i think he'll enjoy for instance if i hadn't asked him to come to jive with me when i go home for the summer he would never have gone out of his way to find a jive club and never have discovered his love for dancing.
I know my brother hates clubs so i don't drag him to them and force him to try enjoy himself instead i suggest things that i think he'll enjoy for instance if i hadn't asked him to come to jive with me when i go home for the summer he would never have gone out of his way to find a jive club and never have discovered his love for dancing.
NeverMindThat
Submit yourself to an experiment; drop all inhibitions for a week, go out every night, get ridiculously drunk and dance like a lunatic.
IF at the end of the week you still feel the same way, well, your a lost cause.
IF at the end of the week you still feel the same way, well, your a lost cause.
Mmm that sound like a fun week. Maybe for a finale we could lay in a puddle of our own vomit in the gutter
Clubbing just isn't for some people.
pinkpinkuk
Mmm that sound like a fun week. Maybe for a finale we could lay in a puddle of our own vomit in the gutter Clubbing just isn't for some people.
Clubbing just isn't for some people.How would you know?
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=185844
There is a society all to do with bullying which gives good advice
I reccomend you look at it.
There is a society all to do with bullying which gives good advice
I reccomend you look at it.pinkpinkuk
Because I'm one of those people.
How do you know that clubbing is not for you?
In anticipation of your response: If I go to London and it rains and I don't enjoy myself, does that mean london is not for me.
After several years of going clubbing and not enjoying it I think I can safely say clubbing is not my thing. Its not a case of going once and vowing never to go again. I am not that immature. I do not drink. I do not like the atmosphere. I do not like many of the people. I do not like the music. I do not like the places. I believe I am fairly qualified to say what I do and do not like. Please do not try and impose your views on me.
pinkpinkuk
After several years of going clubbing and not enjoying it I think I can safely say clubbing is not my thing. Its not a case of going once and vowing never to go again. I am not that immature. I do not drink. I do not like the atmosphere. I do not like many of the people. I do not like the music. I do not like the places. I believe I am fairly qualified to say what I do and do not like. Please do not try and impose your views on me.
Fair enough. The main problem is you don't drink, but I am fed up of having that argument with (secretly) holier than thou people with little life experience.
Or, you have low self esteem and confidence.
pinkpinkuk
After several years of going clubbing and not enjoying it I think I can safely say clubbing is not my thing. Its not a case of going once and vowing never to go again. I am not that immature. I do not drink. I do not like the atmosphere. I do not like many of the people. I do not like the music. I do not like the places. I believe I am fairly qualified to say what I do and do not like. Please do not try and impose your views on me.
i feel not nessuary has the appeal as once did bars and pubs are more like it now to have a gosip and stuff.
NeverMindThat
Fair enough. The main problem is you don't drink, but I am fed up of having that argument with (secretly) holier than thou people with little life experience.
Yup, not drinking can be a problem. Especially when everyone else is so drunk they don't know what they're doing. I usually just end up putting people in taxis and trying to stop them breaking things. More like work than fun!
Anyway its not to say I don't go out and socialise. Its just I'd much rather go out to a small gig, for a meal, to a cafe or to a quiet pub for a coke than out on the town. <shrugs> Thats just more like me.
pinkpinkuk
Yup, not drinking can be a problem. Especially when everyone else is so drunk they don't know what they're doing. I usually just end up putting people in taxis and trying to stop them breaking things. More like work than fun!
Anyway its not to say I don't go out and socialise. Its just I'd much rather go out to a small gig, for a meal, to a cafe or to a quiet pub for a coke than out on the town. <shrugs> Thats just more like me.
Anyway its not to say I don't go out and socialise. Its just I'd much rather go out to a small gig, for a meal, to a cafe or to a quiet pub for a coke than out on the town. <shrugs> Thats just more like me.
Fair enough again. And I'll take back my confidence comment in the light of this rather reasonable answer, you dont appear to be the "I cant see the point of getting drunk... people who do it are...." type.
Nevertheless, not enjoying clubbing is as a result (not inevitable but likely) of not drinking. Clubbing is a social situation that requires a certain degree of confidence rarely achieved without 'chemical enhancement'.
Related discussions
- why do schools not care abt bullying?
- Was the bullying I faced in high school really unusual and severe?
- TSR - can you remove this thread? changed my mind
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- Worried about seeing bully at uni
- If your colleague left work bc of bullying
- I'm really scared
- I don't know anymore.
- do you think this is acceptable as an adult?
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- Researching universities
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