Self confidence?

Ive always had low confidence and self esteem. As far back as I can remember, so its probably related to teh way I was brought up. I was wondering how you can actualy become more self confident and raise your self esteem? Is it as simple as forcing yourself to do things which you feel shy/unconfident to do?

Reply 1

supernova2

11

People say its shallow but if you look good (get a good haircut, clothes, are in-shape) then you have a lot lot more confidence :smile:

Its a fact of life though that if you want something you need to put the effort in yourself because not many people think oh look theres a shy person, im going to see if I can talk to them.

Reply 2

Eau

15

I sometimes have the same problem. But you have say constantly to yourself there is no reason why you shouldn't be confident. Try to be confident, then if you feel uncomfortable that way - write down the reason why, and you have something to work on.

Reply 3

Nefarious

16

I have low self esteem, I always have and no doubt I always will. The most important thing I've found is not to strive to change yourself, that's like admitting that your doubts were justified and it's unlikely to solve the problem. The most important thing is not to let it dominate you or hold you back, accept the fact that occasionally you're going to make a tit of yourself and realise that this happens to everyone regardless of what they think of themself.

Reply 4

hazm

I was the most depressing ****** ever. Just go get drunk and forget about how you appear. I just get completly wasted and do stupid things.....I had long hair and went to a mexican party and me and my mate both got mohawks done when we were totally wasted it was ace, now i sort of don't overthink things now and really give a **** about how others see me :biggrin:

might help you might not but good luck with things.

Reply 5

NeverMindThat

1

eager to please - pretty - low self esteem:

The holy trifecta

Reply 6

kad

have 2 agree with supernova: if u look good u feel good, so i think that's a good place 2 start. maybe a self-help book would b helpful? actually, maybe a true-life story of some1 who's overcome low confidence. that would be a real bit of encouragment 4 u.

Reply 7

Revenged

15

jermay88

Ive always had low confidence and self esteem. As far back as I can remember, so its probably related to teh way I was brought up. I was wondering how you can actualy become more self confident and raise your self esteem? Is it as simple as forcing yourself to do things which you feel shy/unconfident to do?

Yes, that last sentence sums things up nicely... In order to feel more self confident you just have to leave your comfort zone and you have to force yourself to go out and do things...

but understand that no one likes to leave their comfort zone and go into the unknown but this is just what you have to do to have some self confidence...

Sometimes it works... sometimes it doesn't... it's all part of life and you have to learn to deal with it... if you have a negative attitude you tend to focus on just the things that goes wrong... and then you are even less self confident... but there lies the paradox...

i have some more sympathy in your case... as i often have an extremely cynical view of H&R ... but i understand in your case that an unhappy childhood will affects all parts of your life and that is probably the underlying cause of any low self esteem... but this is not going to be something that you can never truely forget... the truth is that you have to find your own way to deal with it and move on... all i could suggest is setting yourself some goals and keeping busy (maybe get a job)... these things may help...

Reply 8

Wangers

16

forget about your reputation - thats who people think you are. Remind yourself constantly that you have a great character. and have fun :biggrin:

Self confidence?

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