Turn on thread page Beta
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sami_ThePeelite)
    have you ever read 'Nineteen Eighty-Four'?


    you would say that now, but when it comes to it - everyone is selfish, human-kind is selfish, that is why love is so popular, it is selfish and provides you with as much good feeling as your partner,


    when you give him presents, he gives you thanks and love and that is for your benefit - so you giving him gifts provides you with great mirth and love.

    when you go to kiss him, he is also going to kiss you - thus you get the return and get something back for him,



    if push came to shove - love never triumphs i'm afraid, selfishness always does, so yes - it may feel nice in a cosy restaurant with candlelight or on the sofa all cuddled up, but if you were placed in a life depending situation, selfishness always comes on top - anyone could be tortured, beaten, and psychologically trounced on - thus, love is selfish and self-satisfying and in essence, superficial.
    That may be true and i definately believe that to some extent. There are very few things that are truly altruistic.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sarky)
    I always end up telling my bf if i get approached by a guy, we usually end up laughing about it he's not the jealous type. But like someone else said, other girlies better keep their hands off!
    Same here, I'll always tell him and we'll always have a laugh about it, particularly if I got thrown a bad chat-up line or something! But I guess the difference is that I know the guys I meet will never ever live up to my bf, whilst in my mind, anyone who chats him up is a beautiful, voluptous, bronzed goddess...
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by kingslaw)
    All reasonable, until the very last sentence. There is an illogical, unexplained relation made between self-satisfication and superficiality. Explain...
    Oh yes. Doesn't self-satisfaction have any value? It surely does otherwise no one would live... and even if your main goal is to satisfy yourself, you can achieve something meaningful in the process.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    well superficiality because - for the lover/partner there seemingly is love, that you love them and that makes them happy, but the love is selfish and is for your own psychological, emotional needs,


    self satisfaction in that it is for your own benefit and that this isn't noticable to the partner because it is camoflaged by your love for them,




    so it is superficial and self-satisfying in that it is a sub-conciously feigned exterior - that you are so convinced you are in love, you actually think that you are - and that is linked to self-satisfaction in that it makes you feel better,


    so love is superficial and self-satisfying to a selfish extent
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by slowjamz)
    Same here, I'll always tell him and we'll always have a laugh about it, particularly if I got thrown a bad chat-up line or something! But I guess the difference is that I know the guys I meet will never ever live up to my bf, whilst in my mind, anyone who chats him up is a beautiful, voluptous, bronzed goddess...
    Hehehe
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Adhsur)
    Oh yes. Doesn't self-satisfaction have any value? It surely does otherwise no one would live... and even if your main goal is to satisfy yourself, you can achieve something meaningful in the process.

    well....that is part of a wider arguement, but yes self-satisfaction does have positive or negative implications for other people, but it is mainly for your own benefit,


    but if your partner knew that, would they love you as much - if they knew your true reasons for things was yourself primarily and themselves/other people secondarily
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by blissy)
    My college mum said "my friend saw you the other day with *blank* and she said... 'blissy's boyfriend is really HOT!'"
    I take much pride in that story.
    Hehe, I have a similar one! A girl I'm friends with and another girl I vaguely knew at school were walking through town and my boyfriend was walking towards them. The girl I vaguely know said "Woah, that guy's really fit!" and my mate told her he was my boyfriend and proceeded to say hello to him and ask how I was whilst the other girl allegedly looked quite jealous I also have a 30 something freak woman who's constantly and blatantly trying to get my boyfriend into bed, but we won't go into that... :mad:
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sami_ThePeelite)
    but if your partner knew that, would they love you as much - if they knew your true reasons for things was yourself primarily and themselves/other people secondarily
    Of course because they know that even though it is my happiness which counts it is ultimately their happiness which is making me happy in the first place. Hence if I continue to make them happy, no one can complain lol.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sami_ThePeelite)
    do you love yourself or you partner more?
    I admire him, I'm constantly amazed by how kind and beautiful he can be, I think he's an incredible person with so many lovely layers to his character and yet he doesn't realise it, which makes him even more amazing and captivating. I don't think any of these things about myself. In general, I'd always put him first; yes, I love him more.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sami_ThePeelite)
    but if your partner knew that, would they love you as much - if they knew your true reasons for things was yourself primarily and themselves/other people secondarily
    Well, I know my bf loves me for me but also because he had an atrocious upbringing and he wants to have a happy family of his own to make up for his bad experiences.

    I know I am too explosive for a lot of other people. But I love him for him, not just because he can "put up with me" and never argues back... and I get my own way... hehehe

    All relationships are mutually dependent and exploitative, surely? It's the people who realise it who have the best relationships.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by slowjamz)
    Hehe, I have a similar one! A girl I'm friends with and another girl I vaguely knew at school were walking through town and my boyfriend was walking towards them. The girl I vaguely know said "Woah, that guy's really fit!" and my mate told her he was my boyfriend and proceeded to say hello to him and ask how I was whilst the other girl allegedly looked quite jealous I also have a 30 something freak woman who's constantly and blatantly trying to get my boyfriend into bed, but we won't go into that... :mad:
    I have no such stories. Only I'd be crazy enough to want mine, which in a way is good because i know that he'd always be faithful hahaha.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by slowjamz)
    Same here, I'll always tell him and we'll always have a laugh about it, particularly if I got thrown a bad chat-up line or something! But I guess the difference is that I know the guys I meet will never ever live up to my bf, whilst in my mind, anyone who chats him up is a beautiful, voluptous, bronzed goddess...
    lol, i always get jealous if he likes any blonde girls. if only i looked like a barbie...

    lou xxx
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sami_ThePeelite)
    well superficiality because - for the lover/partner there seemingly is love, that you love them and that makes them happy, but the love is selfish and is for your own psychological, emotional needs,


    self satisfaction in that it is for your own benefit and that this isn't noticable to the partner because it is camoflaged by your love for them,




    so it is superficial and self-satisfying in that it is a sub-conciously feigned exterior - that you are so convinced you are in love, you actually think that you are - and that is linked to self-satisfaction in that it makes you feel better,


    so love is superficial and self-satisfying to a selfish extent
    Firstly, you seemed to have attatched your own, unsubstantiated, definition of love to this analysis. Very clumsy.

    From that you still go on to say that self-satisfaction must be superficial when related to love. What if both partners know that their love is for selfish reasons?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Adhsur)
    Of course because they know that even though it is my happiness which counts it is ultimately their happiness which is making me happy in the first place. Hence if I continue to make them happy, no one can complain lol.


    lol :rolleyes:

    i believed in love once, an EPOCH ago lol.....but no, it's far too flawed and contradictory to be honestly true and altruistic
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by blissy)
    All relationships are mutually dependent and exploitative, surely? It's the people who realise it who have the best relationships.
    Agreed. And that's after 4 years of fidelity to one person!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sami_ThePeelite)
    lol :rolleyes:

    i believed in love once, an EPOCH ago lol.....but no, it's far too flawed and contradictory to be honestly true and altruistic
    *sigh* I know. But there is no such thing as altruism, I guess all we can do is pretend
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lou p lou)
    lol, i always get jealous if he likes any blonde girls. if only i looked like a barbie...

    lou xxx
    Oh tell me about it. The blondes! :rolleyes: I am continuously assured that black hair is better though lol.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sami_ThePeelite)
    lol :rolleyes:

    i believed in love once, an EPOCH ago lol.....but no, it's far too flawed and contradictory to be honestly true and altruistic
    Sounds like someones not getting any...!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by lou p lou)
    lol, i always get jealous if he likes any blonde girls. if only i looked like a barbie...

    lou xxx
    Hehehe, I get jealous if he goes for brunette girls I'm blonde and I can just about handle him admiring other blondes (he thinks the blonde one from Girls Aloud is amazing but I'll let him get away with that because people have told me I look like her!) - however once he gets into brunette territory I always get jealous Most of his ex-gfs have been brunette too. But we're open about who we find attractive which I guess is a good thing!

    Ooh and also really petite girls - I'm slim enough but at 5'9 I'm only a tiny bit shorter than him, drives me nuts when he fancies the Rachel Stevens tiny types as that's how I've always wanted to look
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Adhsur)
    I have no such stories. Only I'd be crazy enough to want mine, which in a way is good because i know that he'd always be faithful hahaha.
    Lmao same with my boyfriend!
 
 
 
Poll
Who is most responsible for your success at university
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.