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Love vs uni! watch

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    (Original post by kingslaw)
    Firstly, you seemed to have attatched your own, unsubstantiated, definition of love to this analysis. Very clumsy.

    From that you still go on to say that self-satisfaction must be superficial when related to love. What if both partners know that their love is for selfish reasons?


    but love is abstract anyway, there is no proven scientific or clinical approach to it?


    well then it is the ultimate selfish love, and then it isn't love for each other - its an agreed love for themselves,


    which is the case for all love - come on, call me a cynic, but love = comfort, presents, sex, attention, compliments, holding hands and all that - it has to be selfish and self-satisfying,


    especially sex, surely you have sex to satisfy yourself mostly lol not your partner, and if they knew that, would they be happy about it?
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    (Original post by slowjamz)
    Hehehe, I get jealous if he goes for brunette girls I'm blonde and I can just about handle him admiring other blondes (he thinks the blonde one from Girls Aloud is amazing but I'll let him get away with that because people have told me I look like her!) - however once he gets into brunette territory I always get jealous Most of his ex-gfs have been brunette too. But we're open about who we find attractive which I guess is a good thing!
    I never quite know how to feel if he likes someone that looks like me. In a way I should be flattered because it means he only likes her because of the ressemblence to me...but maybe not lol
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    (Original post by slowjamz)
    Hehehe, I get jealous if he goes for brunette girls I'm blonde and I can just about handle him admiring other blondes (he thinks the blonde one from Girls Aloud is amazing but I'll let him get away with that because people have told me I look like her!) - however once he gets into brunette territory I always get jealous Most of his ex-gfs have been brunette too. But we're open about who we find attractive which I guess is a good thing!
    mine likes the blonde one from girls aloud... and the blonde one from sugarbabes and out of all the spice girls he'd choose emma...

    lou xxx
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    (Original post by Adhsur)
    I never quite know how to feel if he likes someone that looks like me. In a way I should be flattered because it means he only likes her because of the ressemblence to me...but maybe not lol
    hmmm, there's always the worry he likes you only cos he fits into his 'type'...

    do we analyse them too much?

    lou xxx
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    (Original post by Sami_ThePeelite)
    but love is abstract anyway, there is no proven scientific or clinical approach to it?


    well then it is the ultimate selfish love, and then it isn't love for each other - its an agreed love for themselves,


    which is the case for all love - come on, call me a cynic, but love = comfort, presents, sex, attention, compliments, holding hands and all that - it has to be selfish and self-satisfying,


    especially sex, surely you have sex to satisfy yourself mostly lol not your partner, and if they knew that, would they be happy about it?
    Well strictly speaking love doesn't exist. It's an evolutionary trait that's designed to make us reproduce, but we've sugarcoated that with the illusionary idealistic word "love".
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    My bf has never EVER come out with "I like her.." or anything. If I push him he will come up with some escape answer. He likes Baileys and Sex and the City. Sometimes I wonder....
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    (Original post by Adhsur)
    I never quite know how to feel if he likes someone that looks like me. In a way I should be flattered because it means he only likes her because of the ressemblence to me...but maybe not lol
    Hehe, I usually find it reassuring, because we've been together a long time and so many of his previous girlfriends and girls he finds attractive are dark and gorgeous that it's sort of reaffirming that he still finds my look attractive Silly I know, seeing as him being with me is testament to that already!
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    (Original post by lou p lou)
    hmmm, there's always the worry he likes you only cos he fits into his 'type'...

    do we analyse them too much?

    lou xxx
    Hahaha I don't like that idea of fitting to his type...I'd rather be what defines his type!

    I think we do. Boys will be boys. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by lou p lou)
    mine likes the blonde one from girls aloud... and the blonde one from sugarbabes and out of all the spice girls he'd choose emma...

    lou xxx

    Mine likes Halle Berry. No probs there then she's obviously a minger :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by blissy)
    My bf has never EVER come out with "I like her.." or anything. If I push him he will come up with some escape answer. He likes Baileys and Sex and the City. Sometimes I wonder....
    LOL, that made me laugh My boyfriend showers more than I do, is a better cook than I am, is always fascinated by my hair straighteners/make up/girly products... sometimes I wonder too :rolleyes: If he stopped commenting on girls occasionally I'd start getting scared!
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    (Original post by Adhsur)
    Well strictly speaking love doesn't exist. It's an evolutionary trait that's designed to make us reproduce, but we've sugarcoated that with the illusionary idealistic word "love".


    well, yes love doesn't exist,


    you could say it's an evolutionary trait to be in love to reproduce, but in fact, you could reproduce without being in love - who knows whether cave-men and women were in love?


    we have sugarcoated it all - i think that's why i was annoyed at this topic from the outset
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    (Original post by blissy)
    My bf has never EVER come out with "I like her.." or anything. If I push him he will come up with some escape answer. He likes Baileys and Sex and the City. Sometimes I wonder....
    Same here. That's why I'm always annoying him asking if he thinks so-and-so is attractive...he really is always in a no-win situation. If he says no I say "hmmm, you're not normal are you"...and if he says yes I'm like :eek:

    Oooops...
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    (Original post by Sami_ThePeelite)
    but love is abstract anyway, there is no proven scientific or clinical approach to it?
    Then why the hell are you trying to attach a psuedo-scientific analysis to something which you say can not be scientifically approached!


    (Original post by Sami_ThePeelite)
    well then it is the ultimate selfish love, and then it isn't love for each other - its an agreed love for themselves,
    Is that not still love? Your warblings about not wanting to fall in love, are you basically saying you dont want to make yourself happy?


    (Original post by Sami_ThePeelite)
    which is the case for all love - come on, call me a cynic, but love = comfort, presents, sex, attention, compliments, holding hands and all that - it has to be selfish and self-satisfying,

    especially sex, surely you have sex to satisfy yourself mostly lol not your partner, and if they knew that, would they be happy about it?
    What if knowing your partner is satified satisfies you further. In which case no one loses, which I'm sure no partner would object to!
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    (Original post by Sarky)

    Mine likes Halle Berry. No probs there then she's obviously a minger :rolleyes:
    Mine loves her too Don't know if you saw the C4 Sunday night movie that she was in but we were watching it and there were underwear and topless scenes where he nearly fell off the couch (And there's me as a blue eyed blonde - doh!)
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    I am in a similar situation to most of you girls- me and my boyfriend plan to stay together despite going to different unis. However, it's easier for me because my boyfriend is going to Oxford Brookes and I'm going to Oxford, so I'll get to see him quite a bit. However, we've been to the same school and been in most of the same classes together for 2 years, but now we'll both be involved with our own unis- same city, but different social circle, activities and work.

    I'm looking forward to a bit of independence, as our lives are a bit too interlinked now, but I was thinking of him going up before me and going to uni all alone and it felt funny. I sort of wish I could be there to protect him as he's quite shy and I'm more extrovert and chatty. That's a bit silly though, I know.
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    (Original post by slowjamz)
    LOL, that made me laugh My boyfriend showers more than I do, is a better cook than I am, is always fascinated by my hair straighteners/make up/girly products... sometimes I wonder too :rolleyes: If he stopped commenting on girls occasionally I'd start getting scared!
    hehe, it's when his mate comes up to him in a bar and grabs his arse and gives him a peck on the cheek (perfectly sobercos he works there) that you get worried... i'm sure i go out with my bf's best mate as well half the time

    lou xxx
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    (Original post by Sami_ThePeelite)
    i was annoyed at this topic from the outset
    Well to be fair, it wasn't meant to be a philosophical discussion on the existence of love, but rather a view on relationships which exist regardless of whether love does.
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    (Original post by Sami_ThePeelite)
    well, yes love doesn't exist,


    you could say it's an evolutionary trait to be in love to reproduce, but in fact, you could reproduce without being in love - who knows whether cave-men and women were in love?


    we have sugarcoated it all - i think that's why i was annoyed at this topic from the outset
    Stage 3: ATTACHMENT
    This is what takes over after the attraction stage, if a relationship is going to last. People couldn't possibly stay in the attraction stage forever, otherwise they'd never get any work done!

    Attachment is a longer lasting commitment and is the bond that keeps couples together when they go on to have children. Important in this stage are two hormones released by the nervous system, which are thought to play a role in social attachments:

    Oxytocin - This is released by the hypothalamus gland during child birth and also helps the breast express milk. It helps cement the strong bond between mother and child. It is also released by both sexes during orgasm and it is thought that it promotes bonding when adults are intimate. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes


    Vasopressin - Another important chemical in the long-term commitment stage. It is an important controller of the kidney and its role in long-term relationships was discovered when scientists looked at the prairie vole
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/

    That makes for some fun reading.
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    (Original post by Adhsur)
    Same here. That's why I'm always annoying him asking if he thinks so-and-so is attractive...he really is always in a no-win situation. If he says no I say "hmmm, you're not normal are you"...and if he says yes I'm like :eek:

    Oooops...
    My boy comes out with the most random things sometimes too - I once asked him if he thought Jordan was attractive or not and he said "She looks like she'd be a laugh to hang out with" - deadly serious and no physical jokes And personality etc is what he'll comment on when I ask him about most girls. Strange boy
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    (Original post by Adhsur)
    Same here. That's why I'm always annoying him asking if he thinks so-and-so is attractive...he really is always in a no-win situation. If he says no I say "hmmm, you're not normal are you"...and if he says yes I'm like :eek:

    Oooops...
    My gf is always askin me who I think is hot. Its slightly weird but I put up with it. She says I have terrible taste.
 
 
 
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