i got her pregnant

i'll keep this brief. i went on holiday, got drunk, had a threesome, the girl's pregnant. the other guy wore a condom so it can't be his.
i live on the other side of the world - this girl's in america, and i have no money to keep travelling back and forth. i'm at uni so don't have the time either.
think is, i don't want to abandon her. for one thing, it's my baby. i'm going to be a dad. and i want to be a proper father, not some estranged biological dad. plus i'm gay, so this could be my only chance to have a biological child of my own (w/o surrogacy etc).
it's a weird situation, but do you have any advice whatsoever?

(more info, i'm 18 going into my second year at uni. she's 20, not at uni, single with a dead end job and no family to support her. i plan to support her financially in any way i can. am seriously considering dropping out of uni to move over there and be closer to my child)

Reply 1

username1799509

Original post by Anonymous

Props to you for actually standing up to support her, but seriously man, wear a damn condom and then you wouldn't be asking this. I'd love to give advice but even I'm a little puzzled on what to say in this situation, makes it worse when she's in America.

Reply 2

sparkletoo

Original post by Anonymous

I think the best option for you is to stay in uni, perhaps get a part-time job from which you can save and go visit her during your time off.
Ultimately, it's better for the baby and the mother if in a couple of years' time, you have a degree that will give you a better shot at securing a stable, well-paid job. Moving over there now would cause you so much hassle that supporting her would be harder. How will you secure a job over there? And permission to stay and work there and all that kind of bureaucracy.
You're going into your second year - 2 years isn't a long time. Besides, she'll be pregnant for a portion of that. If you make rash decisions now, you'll pay for it later. Good luck :smile:

Reply 3

Protagoras

Can't you do the after morning pill? Possibly abortion if necessary as clearly this is not a healthy thing to be happening to either of you.

And... anal brah.. duh

Reply 4

username1862217

It doesn't seem like you'll be capable of looking after it, even if you move to her. The child will most likely end up in care or living a horrible life. I recommend that she gets an abortion and wait, how did she consent to sex while drunk?

(EDIT: Apparently smilies have stopped working on TSR...)

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Keyhofi

i was blind drunk, no idea about her. i barely remember

Reply 6

Musie Suzie

If she's the kind of girl to have a threesome with strangers, she's probably the kind that gets around a bit. How can you be sure it's yours? She may well have had unprotected sex on other occasions shortly before/after the threesome.

Also, if you're gay - sorry if this sounds rude, but I'd curious - why did you "stick it in her" anyway?

I don't think you should do anything - let alone drop out of uni and move there - until you have proof that it's yours. And if it is, you should stay in uni and enhance your prospects; she may struggle a bit in the meantime, but it'll be better in the long run. Doubt you'd be much good to her if you moved there now, and the USA is notoriously difficult to immigrate to even if you were a tip top candidate.

Sit tight for now.

Reply 7

MAINE.

Congrats op, not bad roll bread, i mean troll thread you got here

Reply 8

Little Popcorns

Why did you have sex with her if you're gay was it dare or something??? Super weird and sleazy situation...

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 9

Zarek

"It's a weird situation" That's one hell of an under statement....

Reply 10

El Salvador

so you basically put it in the wrong hole

Reply 11

RainbowKiwi

Make sure it's yours before you do anything rash.

Reply 12

ageshallnot

9.25am, Monday-Friday...

Reply 13

hopeforthebest1

Okay, abortion is an option. But, you should consider placing the child up in an open adoption. Then a couple who is ready to raise a child can raise the baby and you can have contact, see pictures and know what is happening in your child's life. The mom (and hopefully you) would get to select the adoptive family.
You are by no means ready to raise a child and you couldn't stay in the United States and get a job unless you marry her. Not sure how simple that is with immigration either.
I agree with the above poster that you need to have a DNA test done to prove paternity. HARD LESSON about the perils of getting too drunk and not using protection.
Good luck

Reply 14