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this hurts soo much
ive been really really close mates with this girl for years. we went through secondary school together. everyone knew that we were great mates, it was just the two of us in school all the way through the years.
well when we entered the 6th form we chose different subjects and so gradually didnt talk as much as we used to. well when i do bump into her in school she doesnt talk. she talks to anyone but me. i make an effort to talk to her but she doesnt respond..she literally doesnt talk she ignores me. she ignores my texts, my msn responses etc.
well what hurts soo much is that our friendship didnt mean much to her. i cant understand why we cant stay mates. just because we dont see each other much in school doesnt mean we cant be friends. i dont see her outside school cos she doesnt respond to my texts/phone calls etc. she literally now ignores me.
when i do see her she doesnt even use the opportunity to catch up. she doesnt want to talk....she talks to other people. well shes allowed to. what i mean is, she ignores me completely. doesnt even say hello. i said hello to her today and she walked off in the opposite direction.
she only however texts me if she wants something. like to give her something or sign something for her..etc i now ignore this though i dont do it.
i sick of this. i dont understand why shes behaving like this. it hurts soo much cos i love her to bits and well im positive i havnt done anything wrong.
i cant understand how she can let go of me soo easily....
please help?
well when we entered the 6th form we chose different subjects and so gradually didnt talk as much as we used to. well when i do bump into her in school she doesnt talk. she talks to anyone but me. i make an effort to talk to her but she doesnt respond..she literally doesnt talk she ignores me. she ignores my texts, my msn responses etc.
well what hurts soo much is that our friendship didnt mean much to her. i cant understand why we cant stay mates. just because we dont see each other much in school doesnt mean we cant be friends. i dont see her outside school cos she doesnt respond to my texts/phone calls etc. she literally now ignores me.
when i do see her she doesnt even use the opportunity to catch up. she doesnt want to talk....she talks to other people. well shes allowed to. what i mean is, she ignores me completely. doesnt even say hello. i said hello to her today and she walked off in the opposite direction.
she only however texts me if she wants something. like to give her something or sign something for her..etc i now ignore this though i dont do it.
i sick of this. i dont understand why shes behaving like this. it hurts soo much cos i love her to bits and well im positive i havnt done anything wrong.
i cant understand how she can let go of me soo easily....
please help?
Text her and ask her how she sees your friendship. It may be that she feels you don't have much in common anymore.
You should probably just stop contacting her.
Youre trying all possible methods of communication and getting no response - it doesnt sound as though she is likely to explain anything to you and you may have to accept that.
Im sure you did nothing wrong - this is HER problem - not yours.
Dont be treated like a doormat either.
Youre trying all possible methods of communication and getting no response - it doesnt sound as though she is likely to explain anything to you and you may have to accept that.
Im sure you did nothing wrong - this is HER problem - not yours.
Dont be treated like a doormat either.
JudeX
You should probably just stop contacting her.
Youre trying all possible methods of communication and getting no response - it doesnt sound as though she is likely to explain anything to you and you may have to accept that.
Im sure you did nothing wrong - this is HER problem - not yours.
Dont be treated like a doormat either.
Youre trying all possible methods of communication and getting no response - it doesnt sound as though she is likely to explain anything to you and you may have to accept that.
Im sure you did nothing wrong - this is HER problem - not yours.
Dont be treated like a doormat either.
Indeed I agree with your point there. Also to the OP, have you tried to sit her down and talked to her to see what caused this whole thing? Perhaps you did something wrong to her that you weren't aware of?
Anonymous
ive been really really close mates with this girl for years. we went through secondary school together. everyone knew that we were great mates, it was just the two of us in school all the way through the years.
well when we entered the 6th form we chose different subjects and so gradually didnt talk as much as we used to. well when i do bump into her in school she doesnt talk. she talks to anyone but me. i make an effort to talk to her but she doesnt respond..she literally doesnt talk she ignores me. she ignores my texts, my msn responses etc.
well what hurts soo much is that our friendship didnt mean much to her. i cant understand why we cant stay mates. just because we dont see each other much in school doesnt mean we cant be friends. i dont see her outside school cos she doesnt respond to my texts/phone calls etc. she literally now ignores me.
when i do see her she doesnt even use the opportunity to catch up. she doesnt want to talk....she talks to other people. well shes allowed to. what i mean is, she ignores me completely. doesnt even say hello. i said hello to her today and she walked off in the opposite direction.
she only however texts me if she wants something. like to give her something or sign something for her..etc i now ignore this though i dont do it.
i sick of this. i dont understand why shes behaving like this. it hurts soo much cos i love her to bits and well im positive i havnt done anything wrong.
i cant understand how she can let go of me soo easily....
please help?
well when we entered the 6th form we chose different subjects and so gradually didnt talk as much as we used to. well when i do bump into her in school she doesnt talk. she talks to anyone but me. i make an effort to talk to her but she doesnt respond..she literally doesnt talk she ignores me. she ignores my texts, my msn responses etc.
well what hurts soo much is that our friendship didnt mean much to her. i cant understand why we cant stay mates. just because we dont see each other much in school doesnt mean we cant be friends. i dont see her outside school cos she doesnt respond to my texts/phone calls etc. she literally now ignores me.
when i do see her she doesnt even use the opportunity to catch up. she doesnt want to talk....she talks to other people. well shes allowed to. what i mean is, she ignores me completely. doesnt even say hello. i said hello to her today and she walked off in the opposite direction.
she only however texts me if she wants something. like to give her something or sign something for her..etc i now ignore this though i dont do it.
i sick of this. i dont understand why shes behaving like this. it hurts soo much cos i love her to bits and well im positive i havnt done anything wrong.
i cant understand how she can let go of me soo easily....
please help?
Weird situation. She must have a reason for not speaking to you. Ask her.
She's being a dick for not explaining to you. The brain cannot take it if it doesn't understand something (that there is a gap), that's why you go mad, and start making your own conclusions.
You know, you could just punch her in the face and see if she makes a reaction, or just walks away.
What I'd do is just annoy her, but with little effort. Don't keep calling/texting her or contacting her in any other way. Try totally ignoring her, she may come back or show some signs.
You know, you could just punch her in the face and see if she makes a reaction, or just walks away.
What I'd do is just annoy her, but with little effort. Don't keep calling/texting her or contacting her in any other way. Try totally ignoring her, she may come back or show some signs.
37927
She's being a dick for not explaining to you. The brain cannot take it if it doesn't understand something (that there is a gap), that's why you go mad, and start making your own conclusions.
You know, you could just punch her in the face and see if she makes a reaction, or just walks away.
What I'd do is just annoy her, but with little effort. Don't keep calling/texting her or contacting her in any other way. Try totally ignoring her, she may come back or show some signs.
You know, you could just punch her in the face and see if she makes a reaction, or just walks away.
What I'd do is just annoy her, but with little effort. Don't keep calling/texting her or contacting her in any other way. Try totally ignoring her, she may come back or show some signs.
Annoy her deliberately? That would most likely make things worse.
He should go up to her and kindly ask her the reason WHY she’s being distant. There could be many explanations, for instance they might have nothing in common or perhaps he did something to annoy her. I mean she doesn’t HAVE to be his ‘close’ friend but obviously it would be sensible to at least stay in touch. Cutting him of completely from her life after being such close friends for many years, doesn’t make sense.
You say you haven't done anything wrong, but it sounds like she might think you did. If it were a matter of not having anything in common anymore, I imagine she would still be civil and give a distant smile and 'hello' when she saw you.
Perhaps it wasn't something obvious - maybe you didn't get into a huge fight. Maybe she didn't bring it up. But you could have offended her, scared her, or annoyed her in some way. The truth is, by trying to contact her so often, you are just making it worse. Whatever problem she had before, she probably thinks you're annoying and needy to top it all off at this point.
Others say you should talk to her. I think you need to do one of two things:
a) Try to get her to talk. You need to find the right way to do it, because if you try to do it the wrong way, she can easily ignore you and you won't get answers.
b) Just ignore her and try to move on. It's hard, but it seems like she is trying to get a message across that this is what she wants.
Worst case scenario: she continues to ignore you and not answer your questions and you don't talk again.
Best case scenario: You find out what happened and it all turns out to be a misunderstanding and you can try to patch up the friendship from there.
Good luck.
Perhaps it wasn't something obvious - maybe you didn't get into a huge fight. Maybe she didn't bring it up. But you could have offended her, scared her, or annoyed her in some way. The truth is, by trying to contact her so often, you are just making it worse. Whatever problem she had before, she probably thinks you're annoying and needy to top it all off at this point.
Others say you should talk to her. I think you need to do one of two things:
a) Try to get her to talk. You need to find the right way to do it, because if you try to do it the wrong way, she can easily ignore you and you won't get answers.
b) Just ignore her and try to move on. It's hard, but it seems like she is trying to get a message across that this is what she wants.
Worst case scenario: she continues to ignore you and not answer your questions and you don't talk again.
Best case scenario: You find out what happened and it all turns out to be a misunderstanding and you can try to patch up the friendship from there.
Good luck.
I think you probably have hurt her in some way or she wouldn't be ignoring you completely, unless she's a complete ***** which I'm guessing she isn't if you were best friends for so long.
Also you say you don't help her if she asks. Maybe this a reason she doesn't talk to you anymore because she feels you aren't even willing to help her and you were meant to be best friends and she doesn't want a friend like that who she thought she could rely on in times of need. She may have a problem and your not helping, yet you say you love her and were best mates? Imo mates help eachother.
Or you could have just grown apart. I know that after a while of being really good mates with people, I realised we didn't have that much and common and I didn't enjoy spending time with them and so I found some new friends. After being friends for so long and spending every minute of the day with them it can get a bit boring and you might just not be putting enough effort into making your friendship interesting.
Whatever it is, it's more than likely she has a reason and if you really do care that much, you wont just ignore her.
Also you say you don't help her if she asks. Maybe this a reason she doesn't talk to you anymore because she feels you aren't even willing to help her and you were meant to be best friends and she doesn't want a friend like that who she thought she could rely on in times of need. She may have a problem and your not helping, yet you say you love her and were best mates? Imo mates help eachother.
Or you could have just grown apart. I know that after a while of being really good mates with people, I realised we didn't have that much and common and I didn't enjoy spending time with them and so I found some new friends. After being friends for so long and spending every minute of the day with them it can get a bit boring and you might just not be putting enough effort into making your friendship interesting.
Whatever it is, it's more than likely she has a reason and if you really do care that much, you wont just ignore her.
The same thing happened to me, a few years ago mind you. But I know how you feel.
I know it hurts aswell. But trust me, you will get over it. In fact, sooner (or later) you will be thinking what the big deal was about. If a person who you consider a 'friend' does this to you, well, imagine what your enemies would be like! You are much better off without them.
Remember: you haven't done anything wrong. This is HER problem. Her ignoring you is her mistake, and her loss. I too thought when my best friend started to act cold/stop colding/ignoring me that it was something I did. But I came to realise it was her doing, it was what she wanted, and fair enough, I respect that. Because now I look at the person I am today, and the person she is today, and I know for sure that I am a much better person than her. And I'm not saying that because of the way our friendship turned out- thought that could contribute slightly. But because it's true. I look at the person she's become and feel slightly disgusted- and am actually relieved I am no longer her friend, as harsh as that sounds.
You know what, we are actually on speaking terms now. Gradually we began to speak, and it's not like if I saw her on the street now I'd ignore her. But obviously it will never be the same- but it's fine. 'Cause I'm moved on, and so will you
I know it hurts aswell. But trust me, you will get over it. In fact, sooner (or later) you will be thinking what the big deal was about. If a person who you consider a 'friend' does this to you, well, imagine what your enemies would be like! You are much better off without them.
Remember: you haven't done anything wrong. This is HER problem. Her ignoring you is her mistake, and her loss. I too thought when my best friend started to act cold/stop colding/ignoring me that it was something I did. But I came to realise it was her doing, it was what she wanted, and fair enough, I respect that. Because now I look at the person I am today, and the person she is today, and I know for sure that I am a much better person than her. And I'm not saying that because of the way our friendship turned out- thought that could contribute slightly. But because it's true. I look at the person she's become and feel slightly disgusted- and am actually relieved I am no longer her friend, as harsh as that sounds.
You know what, we are actually on speaking terms now. Gradually we began to speak, and it's not like if I saw her on the street now I'd ignore her. But obviously it will never be the same- but it's fine. 'Cause I'm moved on, and so will you
Err... no. We are saying different things. I'm being sympathetic, while user #2 is suggesting that maybe user #1 did something wrong. Which I don't believe is the case. People can just be bitches sometimes.
Anonymous
ive been really really close mates with this girl for years. we went through secondary school together. everyone knew that we were great mates, it was just the two of us in school all the way through the years.
well when we entered the 6th form we chose different subjects and so gradually didnt talk as much as we used to. well when i do bump into her in school she doesnt talk. she talks to anyone but me. i make an effort to talk to her but she doesnt respond..she literally doesnt talk she ignores me. she ignores my texts, my msn responses etc.
well what hurts soo much is that our friendship didnt mean much to her. i cant understand why we cant stay mates. just because we dont see each other much in school doesnt mean we cant be friends. i dont see her outside school cos she doesnt respond to my texts/phone calls etc. she literally now ignores me.
when i do see her she doesnt even use the opportunity to catch up. she doesnt want to talk....she talks to other people. well shes allowed to. what i mean is, she ignores me completely. doesnt even say hello. i said hello to her today and she walked off in the opposite direction.
she only however texts me if she wants something. like to give her something or sign something for her..etc i now ignore this though i dont do it.
i sick of this. i dont understand why shes behaving like this. it hurts soo much cos i love her to bits and well im positive i havnt done anything wrong.
i cant understand how she can let go of me soo easily....
please help?
well when we entered the 6th form we chose different subjects and so gradually didnt talk as much as we used to. well when i do bump into her in school she doesnt talk. she talks to anyone but me. i make an effort to talk to her but she doesnt respond..she literally doesnt talk she ignores me. she ignores my texts, my msn responses etc.
well what hurts soo much is that our friendship didnt mean much to her. i cant understand why we cant stay mates. just because we dont see each other much in school doesnt mean we cant be friends. i dont see her outside school cos she doesnt respond to my texts/phone calls etc. she literally now ignores me.
when i do see her she doesnt even use the opportunity to catch up. she doesnt want to talk....she talks to other people. well shes allowed to. what i mean is, she ignores me completely. doesnt even say hello. i said hello to her today and she walked off in the opposite direction.
she only however texts me if she wants something. like to give her something or sign something for her..etc i now ignore this though i dont do it.
i sick of this. i dont understand why shes behaving like this. it hurts soo much cos i love her to bits and well im positive i havnt done anything wrong.
i cant understand how she can let go of me soo easily....
please help?
Its sounds like she was scared off by your obsessive needy clingyness. Don't expect to get this analysis from anyone else here: they are just the same.
People change. It isn't your fault. You aren't the one with the problem, just move on and forget about her.
This sounds harsh, but people don't stop talking for no reason. As Ink said:
A few years ago I stopped talking to a 'friend' and ignored her. I broke off contact completely and she couldn't understand why. She thought that constantly making rude remarks about my appearance and putting me down was acceptable behaviour, just because we were 'best friends'. When I started spending less time around her with people who didn't treat me like crap I realised how much she was ruining my life. I didn't bother telling her the problem, there was no point because we had nothing in common and she didn't deserve my time after all the things she had said.
Chances are the girl you're talking about just doesn't care about the friendship. If she did she would talk to you off her own back and would put some effort in, you wouldn't have to be calling her all the time just to get some attention. I advise you to move on.
Oh and another thing, as you get older you have different life experiences and naturally you grow apart. I had to deal with a lot of illness in the family at a young age and had to mature quickly, the girl I was friends with still acted like a little girl. I could not be bothered with her immaturity, I wanted to know people who I could actually have mature conversation with.
Think about it.
You say you haven't done anything wrong, but it sounds like she might think you did. If it were a matter of not having anything in common anymore, I imagine she would still be civil and give a distant smile and 'hello' when she saw you.
A few years ago I stopped talking to a 'friend' and ignored her. I broke off contact completely and she couldn't understand why. She thought that constantly making rude remarks about my appearance and putting me down was acceptable behaviour, just because we were 'best friends'. When I started spending less time around her with people who didn't treat me like crap I realised how much she was ruining my life. I didn't bother telling her the problem, there was no point because we had nothing in common and she didn't deserve my time after all the things she had said.
Chances are the girl you're talking about just doesn't care about the friendship. If she did she would talk to you off her own back and would put some effort in, you wouldn't have to be calling her all the time just to get some attention. I advise you to move on.
Oh and another thing, as you get older you have different life experiences and naturally you grow apart. I had to deal with a lot of illness in the family at a young age and had to mature quickly, the girl I was friends with still acted like a little girl. I could not be bothered with her immaturity, I wanted to know people who I could actually have mature conversation with.
Think about it.
Sometimes you need to just stand back and take a breather, dont stress yourself out if you really think that you havent done anything or you cant think of anything that you may have said to upset/annoy her. Everyone has said relevant points, it's good you don't respond to her 'using' you. Forget her, it seems like you've tried hard enough. I know its horrible to look back and feel as if she let you down, but she may have her own reasons for not chatting to you. Let things be, and trust that moving on and focusing on the more important people in your life who have ACTUALLY been there for you is worth 10x's more, than to waste your life worrying about someone who appears to walk further away.
Anonymous
Err... no. We are saying different things. I'm being sympathetic, while user #2 is suggesting that maybe user #1 did something wrong. Which I don't believe is the case. People can just be bitches sometimes.
Well, you both write in an extremely similar way. I know you're both suggesting different things, thats besides the point. TSK.
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