Am I insensitive?

I've known this girl for five years. I had feelings for her early on but failed to act out of fear of rejection. Four years ago I moved away from her. Only then did I find out that she felt the same way. That hurt me so much that I stopped talking to her (don't ask me why) and we lost touch of each other for about a year and a half. In that time, she met the guy who is now her husband. After we got back in touch I realized I felt the same way about her (she was not yet married). I could not let it go and so about 9 months ago I broke contact to get over her, with a promise that when I contacted her again, all would be well. Well, we've been talking now everyday for a few weeks and I'm starting to feel it again. I am completely ok with not telling her. At least in the following terms: The first time around (about a year ago) I couldn't keep it in and I told her how i felt. This time around, I can not tell her. It hurts and it eats at me, but i can not tell her.

Now the reason I have not told her is that I don't want to hurt her. She is my absolute best friend. I kick myself everyday for not taking advantage of the situation early on in our friendship. She's really the only true friend I have.

Now, am I insensitive for not telling her?

kudos to you if you understand all that.

Reply 1

Fizzer

Can I just say that it's a VERY sad story to hear. But there's a lesson to be learned here. Don't ever leave things unsaid when you feel a certain way for someone. You're not insensitive, per se, but I would just like to say that you should try and find someone you actually know you have a future with.

Reply 2

ISH

Well that's common sense. But until I do find someone, every day pisses me off because she is with him and I hate him for it.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

I don't think you should be pissed off at him for something you missed out on! it's not his fault he got the girl cuz you didn't act fast enough! or kept it in.
sorry if I sound mean, I really do sympathise! But I think 4 years is too long to wait for someone, and I also think that unconciously your delaying seeing someone else because your somewhat still saving urself for her.
my advice, simple: find another chick! a rebound maybe... any girl who would get you bak into the dating game... I'm not saying use a poor soul, just go on a random date. If there's sum1 other than this married chick who you like go for her... but then again I'm jst a person on the internet you've never met and dnt even know who I am :wink:

so it all goes back to you in the end dude :biggrin:

Reply 4

ISH

Well, as I have just started at a new school (been in session two weeks), I know no one. I'm certainly not intentionally abstaining from girls, I just don't know anyone yet.

edit: I think my biggest problem is spending all my free time on here. :p:

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

I never said you were doing it intentionally :p:

uncounciously... and what about prior to the 2 weeks?
anyway good luck in the new school I'm sure there will be lots of girls who would be intersted in you :wink:

and answer to your original question on whether your sensitive or not: you are, good waythough...