Why do I feel guilty for looking at other women-we are not an item Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
I'm mainly intrigued by female answers on this topic.
I'll try and set the background.
Imagine someone you see regularly in a place you frequent, you don't see them beyond that. You have a friendly connection, but a bit more, that has gone slightly beyond just pure business, initiated by them but you are happy with it, and you like each other, smiles and all that, there is clearly some attraction, Now, I think most guys nowadays take as a given that in anything up to a serious stage with a woman, anything only knowing each other a bit, she can have options talk and flirt with other guys etc ie you know each other superficially but there is an instinctive connection that you feel could go further if you wanted to see her outside that context. Now it's natural that with a woman and guy in this situation, that her options are open, even if she makes the effort to be extra friendly when she does see you. I've no problem with this clearly, as I am generous and a not very jealous person, and it's all I'd expect. So why, with a realisation of power imbalance, feel that is so unchivalrous to spot or talk to other attractive women in her vicinity, feel so guilty about it, and feel in some deep subconscious way like I will pay for it.
Is it just because women have to have more options because they get more insecure and jealous.? I just feel like it's always terrible what a guy does nowadays, but they can have their options.
Today, I couldn't help, as she was in the back distance a bit, seeing a very attractive woman with a great body, but I was straining my neck literally to try not to look, and she sensed my attention being on this woman. Then I looked at her. I'm not saying she looked at me nastily, she didn't, it was neutral, but I still felt guilty for doing this with no established relationship with her, when she woudn't with another guy. That said she does tend to be more focused on me when I'm in the physical vicinity, but I mean early on knowing me a bit, with online and stuff. But then maybe online is different 'cos people see it as a separate context, and it is confusing the whole social sphere.


But to women especially, have you noticed this mild double standard? Does it feature when you are like this with a guy(s)? Be totally honest, are you happy with exact level playing field in this way, or are you more jealous?
Do you think I am hard on myself to feel this way?
In your personal experience might it be that I feel guilty because I do have feelings for her, or is it because I think she will punish me for it, in some subconscious, abstract way?(bear in mind she doesn't display and jealousy or displeasure, just neutral at me looking at a woman-this time)
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Anonymous #1
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Typo-


'do I feel' that should read where 'feel' is.
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Anonymous #1
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#3
ALSO-

'She wouldn't with another guy' means not that she wouldn't look, I meant that she wouldn't feel guilty for looking at another guy. However, I don't actually know this, as I've never seen her do it with me there, as I don't know the contents of her head. I may also be prejudging the fact she wouldn't feel guilty doing what I did by my preconceptions of the modern world and the power imbalance between the sexes.
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Anonymous #1
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I will rep by the way. I'm just mildly perplexed by this conundrum.
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Anonymous #1
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Ok please?
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JoshDawg
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??
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by JoshDawg)
??
Why did you post that? Are you totally stupid?I hate pointless inane contributions.

'???'

Err, I posted a thread to ask advice. Like every other thread on here. It's not difficult.
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Reeeeyah
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Because you're an idiot.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Reeeeyah)
Because you're an idiot.
Cheers common bird.
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MissDetermined
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It's because you're interested in her, and if you appear to be interested in other woman while in her company then she won't think you are indeed interested. Just ask her out already!
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bassbabe
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I've never understood why some guys do this. There's times when I go out and get stared at by men who are with their girlfriends. Very disrespectful to the chick you're with imo.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bassbabe)
I've never understood why some guys do this. There's times when I go out and get stared at by men who are with their girlfriends. Very disrespectful to the chick you're with imo.
I'm saying though, we are not anywhere near an item, just two people with an affinity and apparent chemistry..
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G-mute1995
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I'm not jealous or insecure so it wouldn't bother at all. The fact of the matter is that beautiful people will never cease to exist and people are going to stare. Looking at people is perfectly fine. She's not your girlfriend so you're entitled to do what you want.


Posted from TSR Mobile
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by MissDetermined)
It's because you're interested in her, and if you appear to be interested in other woman while in her company then she won't think you are indeed interested. Just ask her out already!
I dunno. Am I? We have a vague chemistry, dunno if there is any mentally though.
We know each other incredibly superficially, by face. That is what makes it weird. Maybe we are all subconsciously looking at mating though, so looking at others is bad mating strategy.
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UnicornSparkle13
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You have to decide whether or not you like her, tbh. You two clearly have some kind of connection, and you feel it, which could probably explain the guilt.
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