The Student Room Group

Depressed?

I don't really know how to explain this but I'll try and hope that anyone can help me. I think I'm depressed.
It's taklen me a while to actually write this and it might not even make any sense because I'm messed up in the head.

Firstly, I feel unhappy all of the time, I wake up in the morning and just want to go back to sleep. Half the time I don't understand why I'm so tired because I've slept ove 9 hours. I rarely over sleep though. I just get the right amount.
I often worry though at night. I've recently deferred my university as I'm not ready for higher education.
I worry about trying to find a job and how that seems impossible because my confidence has been killed off and my attitude towards things (I just can't be bothered to do anything). I'm always tired and actually look knackered all of the time. My eyes look dull, my skin looks like it's been pulled though a load of hedges and I've gone really thin. I look at my body in the mirror and feel angry. I'm not sure why I've deterioated in such away. Is it through binge drinking? I have been binge drinking now for around 14 months, drinking, on average 2/3 times a week and getting really drunk, although I have had some sober periods. Still, I didn't feel any benefits.
Is it over worrying too much? I have had a disaster of a year (well last year), I failed my january module exams, I got a boyfriend that abused me (which put me though 8 months of pain, the worst period of my life, I don't think it's necessary to go into but he has tried to kill me once and basically wreck my life), I failed my A level examinations. I only just about gained a place at my chosen university though the skin of my teeth. Then during my time at university, from September to January I did nothing but binge drink, I hardly ate a proper meal, spent a laod of money I've not got to pay back, did no work what's so ever as I didn't have the motivation and lost so much of my confidence I was too afraid to even go in the kitchen by self. I was also too frightened to attend half of my lessons, felt so anxious and scared.
I haven't achieved anything in my life for a long period of time, infact, since my AS levels. I messed up my A levels and now university and now my life. I know it sounds like I'm feeling sorry for my self but I can't help feeling the way I am.
I've seen a counsellor during university but I don't understand how it's susposed to help me out. I want to do it my self and make my self feel good about my self again.

I'm just sick of waking up every morning with regrets about my life. I just wish I could turn back the clock where I didn't have a BF! Then I wouldn't of messed up me life.
I've asked the exam boards if I can resit my A2's but they said it's very unlikely and my college won't help my case so that's doomed. So there is no chance in changing what is partly making me feel so miserable.

I don't know how to get out of this mess. Every morning I wake up, feeling miserbale, tired, depressed, fed up, and wishing I was a little kid with no worries. I want to wake up feeling relatauvely happy, normal. I understand humans have ups and downs but this is not like that. I haven't felt happiness for ages. hen ever it does come back it's going to be tough to maintain.

Reply 1

Well, let me start off that in NO way am I a psychologist but here are some simple facts. Binge drinking. Drinking and getting so extremely drunk does not make you feel better, ever. It will make you feel like bloody ****e when you wake up the next day, or even wake up in a hospital/on the street. Stop this - it aint getting you anywhere and will only give you more problems later on.

Furthermore, your abusing boyfriend. That can really add up to your pain. There is nothing worse than confiding in someone and trusting them and then being stabbed in the back afterwards. I'm assuming your relationship with this cock is over.

Onto the exmainations, college/school stuff can lead to enormous stress, and can affect your motivation as you often don't see where all this going, there are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS other options. Stress and depression? Part of life my friend. Although going back to your abusing boyfriend, that makes it a lot different and your feelings have been bottled up because of all this.

Now that I've listed these basic things, which you probably (HOPEFULLY) knew already, I strongly sugegst seeing a psychologist.

I've gone to psychologists just to talk about life, you don't HAVE to confide in them, just drop by and let it go (as much as YOU want) for an hour or two. Sure, it's expensive, but in the long run, you'll be glad that investing in yourself for the good, rather than binge drinking, will safe you tons more money in the future.

If you have anything you want to share, I am here nearly everyday even if it's for a few minutes, I'll always reply to a PM.

I hope I helped you in some way.

Reply 2

TheDutchy
Well, let me start off that in NO way am I a psychologist but here are some simple facts. Binge drinking. Drinking and getting so extremely drunk does not make you feel better, ever. It will make you feel like bloody ****e when you wake up the next day, or even wake up in a hospital/on the street. Stop this - it aint getting you anywhere and will only give you more problems later on.

Furthermore, your abusing boyfriend. That can really add up to your pain. There is nothing worse than confiding in someone and trusting them and then being stabbed in the back afterwards. I'm assuming your relationship with this cock is over.

Onto the exmainations, college/school stuff can lead to enormous stress, and can affect your motivation as you often don't see where all this going, there are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS other options. Stress and depression? Part of life my friend. Although going back to your abusing boyfriend, that makes it a lot different and your feelings have been bottled up because of all this.

Now that I've listed these basic things, which you probably (HOPEFULLY) knew already, I strongly sugegst seeing a psychologist.

I've gone to psychologists just to talk about life, you don't HAVE to confide in them, just drop by and let it go (as much as YOU want) for an hour or two. Sure, it's expensive, but in the long run, you'll be glad that investing in yourself for the good, rather than binge drinking, will safe you tons more money in the future.

If you have anything you want to share, I am here nearly everyday even if it's for a few minutes, I'll always reply to a PM.

I hope I helped you in some way.
That's a really kind post and thnaks for the offer before, you're a nice person.

I was advised by the NHS to see a Psychologist but the waiting times were far too long as I was just about to go university so we didn't bother.
Going to see one of these seems a little dodgy in the sense I don't want to rely on them in anyway. I want to help my self get better. I just don't know how to or where to start as anything I try and think of is messed up such as when I attempted to resit my A levels.

I reckon achieving something during my mini gap year before university will boost my confidence but I just don't know what to do. I need to find a job as well.

Maybe I do need to go the doctors though because I've been suffering from really bad stomach aches and I reckon they're stress-related.
But i'll never know until i go to see my doctor.

I just hope in time, if \i get my head cleared that my looks will improve. I just to look healthy and people fancied me, Not anymore. :mad:

Reply 3

If your worried about not getting into a uni with your low a-levels why not retake them, that way youll get to resit them, and youll probally find them alot easier than the first time.

I think you should move on from your a-levels though, (put your bad grades down to bad experience and learn from them) start afesh at uni again.

Stop drinking, alcohol isnt a cure it just makes you feel worst.

You need to use these months before you start uni again to regain your confidence

While your on this gap year I think you should, go out and try something new, use this time off to discover yourself, do something you would never have thought of doing before, whether it be lisening to new music, dying your hair green, learning to tapdance, joining the circus, skydiving, training as an astronaut..anything new!!,

Most importantly, go out, leave the house everyday or at least 4 times a week, even if its just to go to the libarary or shop. Youll see things/ people that will make you reevaluate your situation. Its annoying when someone says this when your depressed, but, there are people with greater problems out there, going out and observing the world you live in helps you become more aware of this. Being at home all the time without contact with the outside world only adds to depression.

It seems like you are depressed because you feel your life isnt going anywhere and thats why you keep looking to mistakes you have made in the past. Try to forget these mistakes and as ive said put them down to experience.

Make it your goal to be happy, confident and recovered before you start uni in 2007.

Hope this helps.



Anonymous
I don't really know how to explain this but I'll try and hope that anyone can help me. I think I'm depressed.
It's taklen me a while to actually write this and it might not even make any sense because I'm messed up in the head.

Firstly, I feel unhappy all of the time, I wake up in the morning and just want to go back to sleep. Half the time I don't understand why I'm so tired because I've slept ove 9 hours. I rarely over sleep though. I just get the right amount.
I often worry though at night. I've recently deferred my university as I'm not ready for higher education.
I worry about trying to find a job and how that seems impossible because my confidence has been killed off and my attitude towards things (I just can't be bothered to do anything). I'm always tired and actually look knackered all of the time. My eyes look dull, my skin looks like it's been pulled though a load of hedges and I've gone really thin. I look at my body in the mirror and feel angry. I'm not sure why I've deterioated in such away. Is it through binge drinking? I have been binge drinking now for around 14 months, drinking, on average 2/3 times a week and getting really drunk, although I have had some sober periods. Still, I didn't feel any benefits.
Is it over worrying too much? I have had a disaster of a year (well last year), I failed my january module exams, I got a boyfriend that abused me (which put me though 8 months of pain, the worst period of my life, I don't think it's necessary to go into but he has tried to kill me once and basically wreck my life), I failed my A level examinations. I only just about gained a place at my chosen university though the skin of my teeth. Then during my time at university, from September to January I did nothing but binge drink, I hardly ate a proper meal, spent a laod of money I've not got to pay back, did no work what's so ever as I didn't have the motivation and lost so much of my confidence I was too afraid to even go in the kitchen by self. I was also too frightened to attend half of my lessons, felt so anxious and scared.
I haven't achieved anything in my life for a long period of time, infact, since my AS levels. I messed up my A levels and now university and now my life. I know it sounds like I'm feeling sorry for my self but I can't help feeling the way I am.
I've seen a counsellor during university but I don't understand how it's susposed to help me out. I want to do it my self and make my self feel good about my self again.

I'm just sick of waking up every morning with regrets about my life. I just wish I could turn back the clock where I didn't have a BF! Then I wouldn't of messed up me life.
I've asked the exam boards if I can resit my A2's but they said it's very unlikely and my college won't help my case so that's doomed. So there is no chance in changing what is partly making me feel so miserable.

I don't know how to get out of this mess. Every morning I wake up, feeling miserbale, tired, depressed, fed up, and wishing I was a little kid with no worries. I want to wake up feeling relatauvely happy, normal. I understand humans have ups and downs but this is not like that. I haven't felt happiness for ages. hen ever it does come back it's going to be tough to maintain.