The Student Room Group

Hardly get to spend time with mum

Im 20 but im sick of my aunt every weekend she comes round and her and my mum go out somewhere, I never get to spend time with my mum lol! She even comes round on weekdays. Yesterday we arranged to go to another town together but my aunt came round and they have both gone looking at caravans, they won't let me go I asked but they said I won't like it. Now most people would say to me that I should have my own friends and be going out with them, but why can't my aunt get her own friends? When I mnaged to spend time with my mum about 7 weekends ago my aunt rang her 5 times on her mobile asking where she was. At first I wasn't bothered I didn't want to be childish but I just can't help feeling annoyed now since it happens every weekend and I hardly get to see her during the week.

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Reply 1
Try talking to your aunt about this in private. If you don't want to do that, at least talk to your mum about it
Reply 2
you're not asking for much but it does seem like your aunt is being a little ott.. is she on her own? she might feel that she needs to be a bit closer to her sister for some reason or another..

i think you should address thsi issue with your mum and tell her you're not trying to act like a child but you would like to spend some quality mother/daughter time together.. my mum and i spend very little time just me and her due to her work commitments when i'm home and my 7 month old baby brother.. but when we do spend time together it's special and i wouldn't want to change it for the world..

tell your mum how you feel..
Reply 3
Tuyo
Try talking to your aunt about this in private. If you don't want to do that, at least talk to your mum about it


I have told my mum but she said im jelous, shes right lol.
Reply 4
Well, then maybe you should just leave her be. If she wants to spend time with her sister then let her, afterall, you can't hang around your mum forever.
Reply 5
floss
you're not asking for much but it does seem like your aunt is being a little ott.. is she on her own? she might feel that she needs to be a bit closer to her sister for some reason or another..

i think you should address thsi issue with your mum and tell her you're not trying to act like a child but you would like to spend some quality mother/daughter time together.. my mum and i spend very little time just me and her due to her work commitments when i'm home and my 7 month old baby brother.. but when we do spend time together it's special and i wouldn't want to change it for the world..

tell your mum how you feel..


Yea my aunt broke up with her husband about 5 years ago and has 2 sons ..a 19 year old who won't get a job and (she says) wrecks the house and a hyperactive 7 year old so I can understand her really I wouldn't like to be in her position, but then I still want to spend time with my mum. She has been looking for a caravan for almost a year because my parents have one as she always comes on holiday with us (which is good because its fun with more people and she can't really go on her own). Its like every weekend though they go looking at either camping places or bike shops lol. Not to mention she has told my mum several times to chuck me out because I didn't have a job (though she sees me as being the equivilent of her son), luckly I have one now but she is not exactly encouraging me to like her.
Reply 6
Tuyo
Well, then maybe you should just leave her be. If she wants to spend time with her sister then let her, afterall, you can't hang around your mum forever.


That is why im trying to spend time with her now, im supposed to move out and get my own life by what age..25 or so? It would be socially unacceptable to hang around her forever. :p:
Reply 7
I need to spend more time with mine too, when I do she usually buys me stuff.
I have to admit that would piss me off. She is your mother, it is perfectly normal for you to want to spend some time with her.

However your mother doesn't seem all that bothered about spending time with you (I'm sorry, that is a very harsh thing to say, but I guess you can see that yourself anyway).
Maybe it's not that she doesn't want to spend time with you though, maybe she's just subtly trying to encourage you to make some more friends, that kind of thing?

Gah I don't know. Maybe talk to your aunt about it.

I spend too much time with my mother. Every day I see her lol. I think she gets sick of me :wink:
Anonymous
im supposed to move out and get my own life by what age..25 or so?


25???? 18 - 21 surely! I'd certainly consider it a bit odd for someone to still be living at home over the age of about 22.
Reply 10
Toy Soldier
25???? 18 - 21 surely! I'd certainly consider it a bit odd for someone to still be living at home over the age of about 22.


How come? Some people consider not having a job at your age is odd. My cousin is 44 and has lived at home all her life, she has had bf's etc just never moved out. Also what if they had low confidence?
Toy Soldier
25???? 18 - 21 surely! I'd certainly consider it a bit odd for someone to still be living at home over the age of about 22.


I guess it depends on whether or not they are trying to save up for a house - considering the astronomical prices of them these days.
It's forcing a lot of people to live with their parents for longer, even if they don't want to.
Riddy
How come? Some people consider not having a job at your age is odd. My cousin is 44 and has lived at home all her life, she has had bf's etc just never moved out. Also what if they had low confidence?


Well for one, I don't think living at home forever is a suitable solution for someone with low confidence.

More than that, I just can't imagine living with either of my parents any more. There'd have been a death by now, and I'm not exaggerating. But I guess it's down to the individual. 25 just seems a bit old.
Reply 13
theres living with yure parents for longer and theres being there till your 44!
XenaGlamRocker
I guess it depends on whether or not they are trying to save up for a house - considering the astronomical prices of them these days.
It's forcing a lot of people to live with their parents for longer, even if they don't want to.


I have an agreement with my dad that he'll pay my rent until I can afford to support myself. For one, it would cost him money to have me live with him ANYWAY, and for another I'm fairly certain he doesn't want me taking up room at his place for another 5 years. I'm looking at this from the perspective of parents too... they've already spent 20 years with kids-in-tow, surely they'll be wanting to get back to their own life?
Reply 15
Toy Soldier
Well for one, I don't think living at home forever is a suitable solution for someone with low confidence.

More than that, I just can't imagine living with either of my parents any more. There'd have been a death by now, and I'm not exaggerating. But I guess it's down to the individual. 25 just seems a bit old.


25 is not forever though is it? Are you talking about guys or girls here, or both? Some people get on really well with there parents.
That's good of your dad.
A lot of people don't have such supportive parents.

My mother bought me a house when I was 18 (well she paid for about 90% of it anyway) - this was JUST before the house prices went too sky high, so it wasn't a ridiculously expensive house or anything. It was extremely nice of her - I would never have managed to get on the property ladder without her help.

I agree that it's pretty strange to be living at home past mid-twenties, but sometimes situations force people to do it.

Until he moved in with me at the age of 26, my hubby lived at home with his mother.
He had moved out a few times but he lost his job and couldn't afford to pay the rent, so ended up back at his mam's house.

I do agree though that 44 is waaaay too long to be living with parents.
(Unless they are really old parents that need looking after of course, in which case it's fully understandable).
Reply 17
XenaGlamRocker
That's good of your dad.
A lot of people don't have such supportive parents.

My mother bought me a house when I was 18 (well she paid for about 90% of it anyway) - this was JUST before the house prices went too sky high, so it wasn't a ridiculously expensive house or anything. It was extremely nice of her - I would never have managed to get on the property ladder without her help.

I agree that it's pretty strange to be living at home past mid-twenties, but sometimes situations force people to do it.

Until he moved in with me at the age of 26, my hubby lived at home with his mother.
He had moved out a few times but he lost his job and couldn't afford to pay the rent, so ended up back at his mam's house.

I do agree though that 44 is waaaay too long to be living with parents.
(Unless they are really old parents that need looking after of course, in which case it's fully understandable).


The thing is though, what if someone finds it hard to get a bf/gf? Should they still leave home at 25? Its just generally people move out when they have met someone.
Reply 18
which leaves u in the **** for when you break up
Reply 19
Riddy
The thing is though, what if someone finds it hard to get a bf/gf? Should they still leave home at 25? Its just generally people move out when they have met someone.
No they don't. Most people move out because they're sick of their parents, going to uni elsewhere, want to live closer to work, want to live with friends etc.