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Being the Good Girl...
Hey, just thought i'd make a thread to see peoples (mainly guys) views on good girls. People always label me as a good girl..because i don't drink or smoke, and haven't been in a r'ship for a long long time as I'm waiting for the right guy (i.e someone decent!). All my friends are generally the 'loud' ones and sociable. I am sociable too, and know lots of people in uni, but somehow I think guys find it hard to approach me, because at first I'm very quiet. There are some hot guys at uni..but i think they might be put off by my 'good girl' image as they don't approach me, not even to talk generally as friends but they talk to my friends. I'm not sure? what do you think of good girls? are guys put off by them? or are they attracted to them? whatever the answer, I won't change who I am..I just want to see what people think.
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'Put off' is probably not what it is. Perhaps they're too shy to approach you aswell. The good girl thing is not really an issue, unless, what do you mean by the 'good girl image'?
When exactly do you expect a guy to approach you? If you're in the library than they're less likely to come up to you, but if you're at a nightclub - there's probably a better chance. Maybe you should take the first step and talk to one of these 'hot guys'.
Good luck
When exactly do you expect a guy to approach you? If you're in the library than they're less likely to come up to you, but if you're at a nightclub - there's probably a better chance. Maybe you should take the first step and talk to one of these 'hot guys'.
Good luck
Umm... personally I don't have any specific problem with good girls, but couldn't say I count many as good friends. I like to drink, I swear a lot and I'm unashamedly sexually explicit pretty much all of the time. So called "good girls" generally don't appreciate such qualities 
.
.Hey, thanks for the reply.
I've seen them quite a lot recently at the clubs we go to. I can't take the first step, I'm just not that kinda person..quiet shy. I'll try make eye contact? that may help. Its not that I want these guys to talk to me, I'm just curious as to why they don't
I've seen them quite a lot recently at the clubs we go to. I can't take the first step, I'm just not that kinda person..quiet shy. I'll try make eye contact? that may help. Its not that I want these guys to talk to me, I'm just curious as to why they don't
Maybe they don't approach you because they might think you're unavailable?
Or maybe they are just too shy to approach you. If your friends are really loud and chatty I guess they're easier to talk to.
However no I wouldn't say they would be put off by you being a "good girl".
Honestly, most guys will date a promiscuous girl, but they wouldn't want to settle down with one. You know what I mean?
That's the impression that I've got anyway.
For the record I've never been particularly loud and I've never smoked or touched any illegal drugs (alcohol when I was 17 being the only exception), and I never had that many boyfriends, and now look - I found a great guy and am happily married.
So don't be worried about people being put off.
Or maybe they are just too shy to approach you. If your friends are really loud and chatty I guess they're easier to talk to.
However no I wouldn't say they would be put off by you being a "good girl".
Honestly, most guys will date a promiscuous girl, but they wouldn't want to settle down with one. You know what I mean?
That's the impression that I've got anyway.
For the record I've never been particularly loud and I've never smoked or touched any illegal drugs (alcohol when I was 17 being the only exception), and I never had that many boyfriends, and now look - I found a great guy and am happily married.
So don't be worried about people being put off.
Nix!
I'd choose a 'good girl' over a loud, shallow, annoying socialite any day.
Just because you don't drink or smoke doesn't mean people don't see you for who you are.
Just because you don't drink or smoke doesn't mean people don't see you for who you are.
I agree. I hate louder girls who don't know when to shut their mouths. I much prefer quieter girls who you can talk to etc, I find their personalities much more attractive. Although, unless theirs a serious reason why you don't drink I think you should occasionally, simply due to the fact that it will loosen you up a bit and more guys may approach you.
But ye, don't change your personality, whatever you do.
I like good girls, and to be honest if a guy was put off by you being a good girl then they obviously aint genuine and judgmental so dont deserve you anyway.
Of course its harder to get to know a less outgoing girl, but if the guy is confident enough and likes her enough he would still make the effort to approach her.
Of course its harder to get to know a less outgoing girl, but if the guy is confident enough and likes her enough he would still make the effort to approach her.
Anonymous
Hey, just thought i'd make a thread to see peoples (mainly guys) views on good girls. People always label me as a good girl..because i don't drink or smoke, and haven't been in a r'ship for a long long time as I'm waiting for the right guy (i.e someone decent!). All my friends are generally the 'loud' ones and sociable. I am sociable too, and know lots of people in uni, but somehow I think guys find it hard to approach me, because at first I'm very quiet. There are some hot guys at uni..but i think they might be put off by my 'good girl' image as they don't approach me, not even to talk generally as friends but they talk to my friends. I'm not sure? what do you think of good girls? are guys put off by them? or are they attracted to them? whatever the answer, I won't change who I am..I just want to see what people think.
People who dont drink for a non-religious or medical reason disgust me.
JC.
care to quantify that?
I assume you mean qualify?
There is a class of person at university that does not drink and loves to feel (secretly) superior about that fact to others.
This is the person who always trots out the line "I can have fun WITHOUT getting drunk thanks" and usually "Why would I want to make a fool of myself and vomit all over my clothes" for good measure.
This type person, not neccessarily because they dont drink, but as an associated fact, is invariably boring, repressed, lacks social skills, is useless at dating and despite all that feels themselves better than the "loud" people.
Theres a lot of them on this board.
haha...yeh i'm seen mostly as the good guy, cos i don't offend others or drink (too much) or do drugs etc...and now people just always expect me to be the good guy!
anyway, i think that in your situation, 'not so good' guys will just generally shy away from you because they don't see you as being available/they can't imagine u going out with....
i sorta agree with the good guy, good girl theory thing, where the good guy likes the good girl (eg me) but then
...but then, i tend to find the good girls and bad girls are attracted to the bad guys...oh well...a friend actually even told me...'ur more like the 'guy you'd want to marry' then the 'guy you just wanna experiment' with
either way, i'm not too fused about this issue anymore, i've learnt that i'm who i am, whoever comes my way will be lucky enough to have meeee! (as opposed to the other way round)!
anyway, i think that in your situation, 'not so good' guys will just generally shy away from you because they don't see you as being available/they can't imagine u going out with....
i sorta agree with the good guy, good girl theory thing, where the good guy likes the good girl (eg me) but then
...but then, i tend to find the good girls and bad girls are attracted to the bad guys...oh well...a friend actually even told me...'ur more like the 'guy you'd want to marry' then the 'guy you just wanna experiment' with
either way, i'm not too fused about this issue anymore, i've learnt that i'm who i am, whoever comes my way will be lucky enough to have meeee! (as opposed to the other way round)!
When I was at school I was seen as a good girl. But I was on the uncool, mousy end of "good girl". All of the nice, cheerful, chatty "good girls" had lots of friends, especialy blokes who saw them as cute, sisterly types.
Maybe you are somewhere in between?
I'm not sure what my advice is. Maybe do what I did and find someone online I am always much more open in forums and on MSN than in person. Obviously with friends it is a different story, but I am usualy really shy with new people. But still hardly a true good girl I think the boozin, sexing and swearing kinda betrays me.
Anyway! It is easier to talk to chatty, outgoing people because you don't have to think of much to say. They naturaly keep the conversation going. So if you are quiet, you are harder to get to know, esp for another shyish person (a lot of lads are shy around girls)
There is also always the question of why you are good. Are you religious? Moraly upright? Principled? People with firm views that govern they behaviour can make people nervous. It is difficult to know where you stand with such people, and one might worry about having their more outlandish behaviour harshly judged. Also, people want friends that they feel they can be at ease with, people they can swear around and play silly-buggers with. Maybe they feel intimidated by your "good girl" image, as they probably don't understand it?
Maybe you are somewhere in between?
I'm not sure what my advice is. Maybe do what I did and find someone online
I am always much more open in forums and on MSN than in person. Obviously with friends it is a different story, but I am usualy really shy with new people. But still hardly a true good girl I think the boozin, sexing and swearing kinda betrays me. Anyway! It is easier to talk to chatty, outgoing people because you don't have to think of much to say. They naturaly keep the conversation going. So if you are quiet, you are harder to get to know, esp for another shyish person (a lot of lads are shy around girls)
There is also always the question of why you are good. Are you religious? Moraly upright? Principled? People with firm views that govern they behaviour can make people nervous. It is difficult to know where you stand with such people, and one might worry about having their more outlandish behaviour harshly judged. Also, people want friends that they feel they can be at ease with, people they can swear around and play silly-buggers with. Maybe they feel intimidated by your "good girl" image, as they probably don't understand it?
"Good girls" are hawt.
NeverMindThat
I assume you mean qualify?
There is a class of person at university that does not drink and loves to feel (secretly) superior about that fact to others.
This is the person who always trots out the line "I can have fun WITHOUT getting drunk thanks" and usually "Why would I want to make a fool of myself and vomit all over my clothes" for good measure.
This type person, not neccessarily because they dont drink, but as an associated fact, is invariably boring, repressed, lacks social skills, is useless at dating and despite all that feels themselves better than the "loud" people.
Theres a lot of them on this board.
There is a class of person at university that does not drink and loves to feel (secretly) superior about that fact to others.
This is the person who always trots out the line "I can have fun WITHOUT getting drunk thanks" and usually "Why would I want to make a fool of myself and vomit all over my clothes" for good measure.
This type person, not neccessarily because they dont drink, but as an associated fact, is invariably boring, repressed, lacks social skills, is useless at dating and despite all that feels themselves better than the "loud" people.
Theres a lot of them on this board.
There are also people who are fun, witty and outgoing and don't need to pump chemicals into their body in order to have a good time. Or people who genuinely dislike the taste and feeling of alcohol. Why should they feel pressure to drink just because you think that someone's attitude to booze governs who they are in other respects? Sure, some people who don't drink do it because they think it makes them better people, but not all.
Don't judge everyone by the standards of your own blinkered and narrow experience.
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