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how to hold conversations

all i can really say is 'how are you' and 'what you been up to' i dont know how else to hold conversations or how to start it...

i really just dont know what to say

also in conversations i blank and i cant think of anything to say. i feel soo bad like i have no conversational skills.

can anyone suggest what i could say or how else to start off a convo?

this is really making me feel soo bad

Reply 1

-!- Drew

2

I had the same problem. Just talk about things that you like to do, i.e your hobbies and interests, things that are happening in your life at the moment. Ask what they like to do. Just basic things. You should then get into a good convo and it should start to flow from there.

Andrew

Reply 2

g2da3

11

Anonymous

all i can really say is 'how are you' and 'what you been up to' i dont know how else to hold conversations or how to start it...

i really just dont know what to say

also in conversations i blank and i cant think of anything to say. i feel soo bad like i have no conversational skills.

can anyone suggest what i could say or how else to start off a convo?

this is really making me feel soo bad

same thing what andrew said
or try talk about somethink for example
did you watch skins or etc or even eastenders because everyone watches it
i hope that helped

Reply 3

shirley7

11

I had the same problem. Just talk about things that you like to do, i.e your hobbies and interests, things that are happening in your life at the moment. Ask what they like to do. Just basic things. You should then get into a good convo and it should start to flow from there.

Agreed.

I used to have this problem, I used to be shy but one day I just thought go out and be yourself and I was fine from then on (I probably wasn't as shy as I thought, I just lacked confidence).

If you're trying to make new friends somewhere, e.g. at work, school or college, then do this. Talk about yourself, your interests/hobbies and ask them about what they like to do etc, the conversation should just flow from there and the next time you see them you'll be able to talk to them easily

Reply 4

Toy Soldier

3

I say whatever it comes into my mind to say. Though I wouldn't recommend this as I'm often horrifically inappropriate as a result :biggrin:

. examples of conversation starters with what are now some of my best friends are "Hi, I like your breasts" and "is that a sex carrot?". Sooo... I guess you either play it safe and go for the middle ground, or follow my example and hope for the best. You will inevitably offend some people irrevocably though :s-smilie:

Reply 5

veryrandom

10

This is britain.
Just talk about the weather.

Reply 6

ajking

1

well if u really want a good long convo you can always ask them "do u believe in the afterlife" or something like that....and tht cn lead on 2 talkin about religion...and right and wrong etc...its an amazing topic...just ask questions tht require more thn a yes or no answer and like everyones been saying-it will begin to flow.Just act really interested in the person ur speaking 2...a big topic is music.
anyway good luck!
From Andy

Reply 7

Overmars

17

veryrandom

This is britain.
Just talk about the weather.

No no no, don't do that. We're not 50 yet :p:

Reply 8

Toy Soldier

3

veryrandom

This is britain.
Just talk about the weather.

But... it's Britain! "The weather's crap" is all there is to say. Maybe an agreement: "Yes... the weather is indeed crap.". Not much else to say after that. Sex is definately a much safer topic :yy:

Reply 9

-!- Drew

2

veryrandom

This is britain.
Just talk about the weather.

Not much to talk about when it comes to weather. The weather is the same everyday so it'll become a bit tedious after a few days lol.

Reply 10

Moriarty Man

Ask open-ended questions.

example:

don't ask - "Do you like pizza?"

ask: "What do you think of pizza?"

that's a lame example but you get whta I mean. Encourage people to go into depth, and don't ask questions that are likely to get only one word responses - because they can kill conversations. When they go into depth, you should be able to find something to take lead from. If you're really stuck for words, you can always say something about your surroundings or something.

Honestly, the best way to get better at conversation is to get practise, with as many different types of people as possible. Try to be unique and intriguing (but not weird) and chances are other people will respond more enthusiastically to you, and then it'll be easier to have good interactions.

Reply 11

Toy Soldier

3

ajking

well if u really want a good long convo you can always ask them "do u believe in the afterlife" or something like that....and tht cn lead on 2 talkin about religion...and right and wrong etc...its an amazing topic...just ask questions tht require more thn a yes or no answer and like everyones been saying-it will begin to flow.Just act really interested in the person ur speaking 2...a big topic is music.
anyway good luck!
From Andy

NEVER discuss religion with a friend unless you know them very well or you're fairly sure they (approximately) share your beliefs. It might make for an interesting and heated conversation yes - but a drastic conflict in such beliefs can be an absolute friendship killer, especially in the early stages of a friendship.

Reply 12

Moriarty Man

Religion and Politics = no.

seriously, especially if you're talking to the opposite sex.

Reply 13

g2da3

11

Moriarty Man

Religion and Politics = no.

seriously, especially if you're talking to the opposite sex.

very ture moriarty man :biggrin:

Reply 14

amyshambles

5

I find that I can only hold a conversation if I actually want to, that way my genuine intrigue concocts the questions for me and I just run with it.

Otherwise for the most part I can't help but give dead end responses and slowly die inside with discomfort...

But for general advice, if I had to continue conversation, I tend to say everything in an off the cuff yet nevertheless clear manner which opens up the possibility for them to either respond or ignore my comment, without me looking like an idiot in either situation as a result.

But then, you asked what to say, not how to say it... which is sort of invariably the first hurdle.

Like somebody else said, interests and hobbies and that for the win, but if you discover you share absolutely nothing in common, not only will that stagnate the conversation but I'm sure you'll also realise that there really isn't much point in talking to somebody you don't have any common ground with, even if its just a tendancy for the same satirical humour or something. (I could be wrong.)

Personally I find talking about the OC a greeeeeaaaat filler / starter come to think of it, as most people I know are obsessed, either by the greatness of its first series or the decline in quality of its latter ones. If you happen to be surrounded by a bunch of OC haters though, that would be very unfortunate and I would feel very guilty.

You could always reminisce. Everybody loves to reminisce. But then, that's basically saying that in order to hold a conversation, one must have actually led an interesting life or developed interesting opinions on which a conversation can be based.

Reply 15

need_money

9

When I'm talking to someone I don't really know I tend to start with something about them such as "So where is it you're from again?" or "So what you getting up to later on?" and it usually flows into something else e.g. if you asked where they were from they could say they were from a town where you know someone and it could turn into you asking if they know so and so and it turns out they do and so on. Just for example :p:

.

Reply 16

ajking

1

well sorry 4 the bad advice if everyonr thinkd tht..bt ive had amazing convos with ppl who dnt have the same beliefs as me...i think its amazing to find out what other people believe and sometimes it an really make you think.In my group of friends i have 2 christians 4 sikhs and 2 hindus and a muslim..speaking 2 them about wht they believe never did me any harm!
Anyways sorry if u think its bad advice