Scared to come out don't know where to start Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
I know i want to start seeing girls as well as guys, but i don't even know where to start on telling people or trying or anything? anyone got some advice?
LostAndScared
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 3 years ago
#2
Same. My problem is that I've been pretty ambiguous with my orientation for so long I'm not sure some of my friends would actually believe that I'm bi, they'd assume I was pretending for fun. Although I did convince one friend that we should go to the gay bar in town on my birthday so I think they'll be cool with it. And when Ruby Tandoh came out I told my mum I was questioning my orientation so I've essentially come out. I mean I guess it depends who you are as a person. Have you ever really publicly shown any interest in girls/guys (not sure what gender you are), even if it's just celebrities and stuff? The stereotype of coming out is the whole sitting people down on the sofa and having the chat but seriously, do whatever feels comfortable for you. I got it into my head that it wasn't right to come out via text or facebook message or something but honestly? Coming out isn't a one time thing. The way you do it will totally depend on what you find easiest depending on who you're talking to. Iit might be that you're watching a film with a gay character and you just make some off-hand comment that tips someone off that you're interested in people of the same gender as you. As for dating, I guess try and find an LGBT_ dating scene. Or internet dating, loads of people do that. Failing that, people in the acting/poetry scene are frequently somewhere on the LGBT+ spectrum. Or have friends who do. Stereotypical I know, but true.
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
Same. My problem is that I've been pretty ambiguous with my orientation for so long I'm not sure some of my friends would actually believe that I'm bi, they'd assume I was pretending for fun. Although I did convince one friend that we should go to the gay bar in town on my birthday so I think they'll be cool with it. And when Ruby Tandoh came out I told my mum I was questioning my orientation so I've essentially come out. I mean I guess it depends who you are as a person. Have you ever really publicly shown any interest in girls/guys (not sure what gender you are), even if it's just celebrities and stuff? The stereotype of coming out is the whole sitting people down on the sofa and having the chat but seriously, do whatever feels comfortable for you. I got it into my head that it wasn't right to come out via text or facebook message or something but honestly? Coming out isn't a one time thing. The way you do it will totally depend on what you find easiest depending on who you're talking to. Iit might be that you're watching a film with a gay character and you just make some off-hand comment that tips someone off that you're interested in people of the same gender as you. As for dating, I guess try and find an LGBT_ dating scene. Or internet dating, loads of people do that. Failing that, people in the acting/poetry scene are frequently somewhere on the LGBT+ spectrum. Or have friends who do. Stereotypical I know, but true.
I appreciate your advice! Female, have only mentioned liking celebrities, i shall see what happens i guess
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NathanAllen
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Report 3 years ago
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You can start by asking your best friend what there views are on bosexuals. If there ciew is positive then tell them. Be careful on who you tell one wrong move alot of people will know then so on. Im gay if you wanted to know

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MichaelB6
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I've been out to everyone for three years as bisexual.

It's just words. It's easier said than done, but honestly, it did not change a single thing in my life with the exception of one relationship; my mother. She's said she doesn't care and I 100% believe that her love is unconditional, but because I thought she would be awkward about it, I told her last in a very unconventional way, and ever since the mention of gay people leaves an awkward atmosphere.

So my best advice? Be confident in yourself and your own sexuality before you tell people. Be quietly confident when you tell people, and don't think it's a big deal. How you approach the situation will likely define the outcome; if you think people will be bothered, it almost eggs them on to actually be bothered,

I told my two closet friends in the traditional 'let's sit down and talk, I want to say something', and honestly it was quite cringey and they were both like yeah, we already knew man, no big deal, definitely didn't need to arrange to meet us for this haha. I prefered my other 'come outs', where I just dropped the odd hint here and there like 'oh, he's good looking', or 'oh **** man I was so drunk last night, did you see that fella I got with?!', and it felt more organic to the situation and barely anyone reacted.

So yeah, good luck! Message me if you need help with anything, and trust me when I say it's x1000000 bigger deal to you than other people. I'm not saying people won't care, but you've already come to terms with the most difficult part; accepting your own sexuality. You've essentially already come out to the hardest person! Everyone else is a walk in the park in comparison
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