The Student Room Group

Boyfriend said he thinks he's falling in love with me...

The short and short of it:

My boyfriend told me tonight that he thinks he's falling in love with me.
Whilst it's really sweet and I feel really strongly about him, I just don't feel I'm quite in the same place yet. I really like him and care for him, but it's not quite gotten to "love" yet. We've known each other for a while and been together propperly for nearly a month.
He's my first boyfriend and this is the first time anyone has ever said this to me. I have no idea how to respond now. I don't want to say I'm falling in love with him, because it won't be true, but I have no idea how to get across that I care a lot for him but don't feel the same yet without sounding cruel/stupid.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.
Hey,

A month down the line and he is saying he is falling in love with you? Whoa! No wonder you feel a bit overwhelmed! Well done for not saying it back though if you don't feel that way! There are loads of little things you can do to let him know how much he means to you though, such as sending the odd text randomly saying "thinking of you" or tell him how happy he makes you whilst watching a film or something. Give him attention so he doesn't feel neglected and i am sure all will work out okay!
Reply 2
It does seem a little too soon. We have known each other for a while and such, but I don't think we know each other personally enough yet for love to really be in this (if that makes any sense).

We do text each other and say "missing you" and things to that effect quite often and I try to show him I care when I can because we have really horrible clashing timtables - him with work and me with uni - that limit when we get to see each other.

I'm actually slightly scared with anticipating the moment when he just comes out with "I love you" because, if I still don't feel the same way back, then I won't know what to say to him.
Reply 3
Dont worry about it.

When you feel you love him tell him then. :smile:

You dont both have to fall in love with each other at the same time, it doesnt happen straight away either.
this is hard. you have to appreciate also the guts it probably took him to say it. try now to be overwhelmed, and just bask in the fact that he cares about you so much :smile:
Reply 5
Wow, that's really nice if he means it, either that or he's one of those that just says it without meaning it, but it sounds like he meant it so good!

That last sentence was wrong...anyway!

I've been going of with my bf for 18 months and we still both find it difficult to say we love each other, I think I'm in the position of still caring deeply for him, but I don't know, it's not exactly love yet. Not that our relationship is bad or anything, we're both very happy, but I deem love as being the big whammy, the big I want to spend my life with you type of thing. Anyway yeah, you don't have to say you love him back if it would be a lie atm, but let him know you care and like someone else said, make him feel at least special to you.
Reply 6
My bf said the same thing to me the other day. I like him and all that but I'm not in love, yet. Panicked and I couldn't really think about anything to say and just blurted out that does he know what love means and that he should tell me again when he _knows_ he is falling in love with me. The insensitive bitch I am...
Anonymous
The short and short of it:

My boyfriend told me tonight that he thinks he's falling in love with me.
Whilst it's really sweet and I feel really strongly about him, I just don't feel I'm quite in the same place yet. I really like him and care for him, but it's not quite gotten to "love" yet. We've known each other for a while and been together propperly for nearly a month.
He's my first boyfriend and this is the first time anyone has ever said this to me. I have no idea how to respond now. I don't want to say I'm falling in love with him, because it won't be true, but I have no idea how to get across that I care a lot for him but don't feel the same yet without sounding cruel/stupid.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.


Talk to him about what love means to you, explain that you care for him and really like him etc.... He should understand, but might be a little disappointed if he really means it.
Reply 8
I really do think he meant it. He doesn't seem the type to just waywardly fling it about; Just from how he acts and things his friends have said etc
He told me last night he wouldn't actually say "I love you" until he makes sure that it's really going to mean everything it can do.
I think I've got a rough idea of how I'm going to go about talking to him about it if he says it and I still don't feel at that level.

Thank you for your advice, guys and girls, it's been a help.
Reply 9
Lol @ all the girls panicing about it. From my experience, saying 'i love you' isnt really that big a deal to guys as it sems to be to girls.
Reue
Lol @ all the girls panicing about it. From my experience, saying 'i love you' isnt really that big a deal to guys as it sems to be to girls.


True, and here's your rep; Actually, you'll have to wait till 1AM.
Reply 11
I'd advise you to panic, make a mountain out of a molehill and then come to an irrational decision involving dumping him and proposing to his best friend/brother/grand-dad. Intersperse this with crying, girly nights with friends and watching 'Love Actually' on repeat. Randomly finding you “true sexuality” and becoming a lesbian is also popular at these times.

Failing that, "love" is such an ambiguous word that I wouldn't take it to seriously and just carry on as usual.:smile:

Good luck to you two!
ha, he's in lust with you and this is the peak of his infatuation. Enjoy it while it lasts. Ask for everything you can get. By the time you actually fall in love with him, his eyes will be on other girls. Trust me, as you said your inexperienced and i have been in ur place many times.
Think with your head. Remember he's thinking with his d*ck.
Reply 13
crankycaz
Wow, that's really nice if he means it, either that or he's one of those that just says it without meaning it, but it sounds like he meant it so good!

That last sentence was wrong...anyway!

I've been going of with my bf for 18 months and we still both find it difficult to say we love each other, I think I'm in the position of still caring deeply for him, but I don't know, it's not exactly love yet. Not that our relationship is bad or anything, we're both very happy, but I deem love as being the big whammy, the big I want to spend my life with you type of thing. Anyway yeah, you don't have to say you love him back if it would be a lie atm, but let him know you care and like someone else said, make him feel at least special to you.



I really respect the way you don't throw 'love' around :smile:
Because half the time when people say they love someone.. it's lust.
'I love you' has been cheapened somewhat.
Reply 14
That's not love, it's lust.
Reply 15
I can understand what people are saying about lust.

Love however is not the same for everyone. Does it take 5 months 1 day 2 mins to fall in love with someone? Or is it different for each person?

Some people get married after going out for a year and stay together the next 26 years. They must have fallen in love very quickly!! Other people take much longer.

Maybe it is lust, remember he didn't say I'm in love. He said falling in love which is very different!!