Is it wrong to regret something happened in the past?

An old friend and I met after long time and started discussing about an accident I had met with in the past.

The damage was not physical, but something that had severe disabling effects on my overall mind. These "effects" lasted for nearly two years.
No psychologists, no therapists, no counselors...
I lived with these "effects" on my own and let them pass over time.

Although in the meantime I have regained my overall health, I often thought about the fact that if that accident hadn't taken place, those "effects" wouldn't have compromised several aspects of my life following that period (final exams, university applications, etc.)

And sometimes, even now when I do something I'm very satisfied with, I ask myself with nostalgia-tinted glasses, "Who knows how I would have achieved this if that accident had never happened?"

My old friend is like very angry about this and says that I'm "blaming the past" in order to "have an excuse to be unsatisfied".

But honestly, how will I ever know?

Reply 1

beach surf babe

You don't know what would have happened if you hadn't had that accident and you never will. There's no point going over and over in your mind about what may or may not have happened...stuff happens and you just have to deal with it and move on. I know you can't help but wonder and think..."if only..." but you are where you are now and wishing you could change the past won't change the present.

Reply 2

sparkly_tiara

Hey,

I think it is normal (to some extent) to wonder if certain events have helped or hindered us in our paths in life. Unfortunately, it is one of those things that we cannot always find out as there are so many things (some things we aren't even aware of) that help us with our decisions in life.

I don't know what has happened to you, but i get the sense there are a lot of emotions still surrounding what has happened, and i definately get the feeling of bitterness and resentment (which sounds justified if something has happened to you). I strongly suggest you consider counselling maybe? Just getting all of this out of your system and discussing it with someone could really help you deal with your feelings and work out some of your questions.

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