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Stress management -- changing your way of thinking?
hey
basically atm, i'm soo stressed atm, with uni work, guys (exes and lack of replacements), trying to enhance my cv, feeling like competing with ppl all the time, trying to use all my timoe productively, making new friends, keeping exisiting ones close...
i know that what i really want to do is change my approach towards it, i don't wanna give anything up, i just wanna change how i think towards it.
i find that the more stressed i feel, it's like a vicious circle, i feel even more stressed, until i feel ike crying or like i'm gonna explode like now.
so really what i'm asking for is what do u tell yourself to cheerlead yourself out of it? (not so much what u do, like exercise or baths or whatever, cos i don't really have time for that)
i'm looking for like ways of thinking abot thinogs to realise that i don't need to be so stressed. i wanna be those really calm ppl that look ike nothing ever phases them, and they are happy and laugh all the timoe!
xxxx
basically atm, i'm soo stressed atm, with uni work, guys (exes and lack of replacements), trying to enhance my cv, feeling like competing with ppl all the time, trying to use all my timoe productively, making new friends, keeping exisiting ones close...
i know that what i really want to do is change my approach towards it, i don't wanna give anything up, i just wanna change how i think towards it.
i find that the more stressed i feel, it's like a vicious circle, i feel even more stressed, until i feel ike crying or like i'm gonna explode like now.
so really what i'm asking for is what do u tell yourself to cheerlead yourself out of it? (not so much what u do, like exercise or baths or whatever, cos i don't really have time for that)
i'm looking for like ways of thinking abot thinogs to realise that i don't need to be so stressed. i wanna be those really calm ppl that look ike nothing ever phases them, and they are happy and laugh all the timoe!
xxxx
Reply 1
fairycakes, i am in exactly the same position! i am sooo stressed with AS work, friends, boys, family, health...the list is endless. and i dont have time for relaxation things either. i need the same advise as you. i spoke to my tutor the other day and she said that i just have to tell myself it'll all be over soon. doesnt help though 
Reply 2
it's not gonna be over for me until june! i don't get any holidays! i need to do something tho, or i'll feel ike this the rest of my life, cos i'm set to have a stressed out life!
i need to do something tho, or i'll feel ike this the rest of my life, cos i'm set to have a stressed out life!Reply 3
Very unique topic. Read this book. I did and it really really helped. It's not a religious book, and it's not a "self help" book. It's just a book that offers different ways of thinking on many different aspects of life, and it does so in a very subtle but encouraging manner.
It approaches things from a very masculine, logical perspective. Very good book.
It approaches things from a very masculine, logical perspective. Very good book.
Reply 4
I'm like this as well. I stress about loads of things but college and big life related things are the worst. Sometimes my negative thoughts are so strong nothing works and as a result I can get 5 hours sleep or sometimes less, so I know what you mean about the vicious circle fairycakes. I'm gonna go back to my doctor and I'm also thinking about hypnotism.
Reply 5
hypnotism...interesting! is it permanent?
Reply 6
Well I studied stress in Psychology at AS Level and have just found an article that I found at the time on teen stress - I will attach.
Also, a few things I've found in my notes. Control is an important factor. Do you feel you are in control of the situation? If not, this can be a cause of stress so think about ways in which you can perceive yourself as being in control.
There were several techniques that we studied for managing stress. The one that seems most applicable to you is:
Hardiness training by Kobasa
Teaching people to become ‘hardy’ and to help them cope with stress by creating a programme of training.
1. Focusing – learn to realise when you are stressed – signs.
2. Reconstruct the stressful situations – think of the worst and best
outcomes.
3. Compensate through self-improvement – find tasks you can do,
reassuring yourself that you can cope.
Hope this helps. I'm sure a quick and easy Google search will give you some interesting results.
Good luck! x
Also, a few things I've found in my notes. Control is an important factor. Do you feel you are in control of the situation? If not, this can be a cause of stress so think about ways in which you can perceive yourself as being in control.
There were several techniques that we studied for managing stress. The one that seems most applicable to you is:
Hardiness training by Kobasa
Teaching people to become ‘hardy’ and to help them cope with stress by creating a programme of training.
1. Focusing – learn to realise when you are stressed – signs.
2. Reconstruct the stressful situations – think of the worst and best
outcomes.
3. Compensate through self-improvement – find tasks you can do,
reassuring yourself that you can cope.
Hope this helps. I'm sure a quick and easy Google search will give you some interesting results.
Good luck! x
Reply 7
There isn't really any way out of that stuff, just sounds like normal life. I think you just have to learn to put up with it.
Reply 8
ooh saz! thanks a lot, that looks really useful! i'll take a look.
xxxx
xxxx
I have to manage stress now seeing the past few years in 6th form have well did until a week ago stress me out completly causing me to affect my health, which could of had serious problems in the future I have techniques now and barely find things stressful now without these techniques, i'd reccomend going to see you GP and they can refer you to a specialist. ;yes;
Reply 10
fairycakes
ooh saz! thanks a lot, that looks really useful! i'll take a look.
xxxx
xxxx
No problem
Oh a thread on my favourite topic!
Fairycakes, it is really good that you are wanting to change the way you think, ie your perception, and it can be done. Perception is dependent on the 'filters' in your brain which process thoughts. So think of a spider that has just walked across your table. That's a neutral thing. Next, you perceive this spider as a) a wonderfully cute wee guy or b) the most horrible scary thing ever. So all thoughts, when floating in the air around you, are neutral. When your brain filters them they go into the good bucket or the bad bucket. Therefore you are completely able to change your filters and see things the way it is better to see them.
So you are completely right in saying that by thinking of things differently, you will alleviate your stress.
Put perception into the stress scenario.
Stress, to begin with, is an overused term. In humans stress refers to the psychological, emotional and physiological reactions to situations where you feel threatened beyond your capacity to cope. Biologically, to be called 'stressed', your body needs to be in 'fight or flight' mode for an extended period of time, which your body then accepts as homeostatic, ie it is now normal for the body to have a constantly high respiration rate, heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension etc. This means you're stressed. Normally though, when people use the term stress, it means that they are feeling harassed, hopeless, pressured etc. So maybe you aren't stressed after all! But maybe you are.
So if you are stressed, or even if you think you are, there is a psychological method of stress management that I'm very fond of, because it focuses more on the problem rather than the effects of the problem. There's three simple steps to it: Assessment, Stress Reduction, and Application.
Assessment: what really is the problem? What is causing you to feel stressed? Be rational and logical about it, and analyse what the problem really is.
Stress Reduction: You decide whether you can cope with the problem. In yes, you go onto the 3rd part. If you decide it is outwith your mental and physical ability to cope with the stress-causer, then you either reduce the stressor or you seek help.
Application: Be realistic about what you can actually do about the stressor. This usually involves, adapting and/or accepting. (if you cannot remove it). For example, people are bothered about the weather, like if it is really rainy one morning. The rain is outwith your locus of control, therefore you have to adapt and accept it. And you do that by changing your perception of it from stressor to neutral.
Stress has a 'transactional nature'. This means that it is a two way thing, and the two directions are the stressor and the person. In the middle is perception. Therefore the transactional nature of stress is such that it is dependent upon the perception of the individual.
Change your perception, and you won't be stressed anymore.
Fairycakes, it is really good that you are wanting to change the way you think, ie your perception, and it can be done. Perception is dependent on the 'filters' in your brain which process thoughts. So think of a spider that has just walked across your table. That's a neutral thing. Next, you perceive this spider as a) a wonderfully cute wee guy or b) the most horrible scary thing ever. So all thoughts, when floating in the air around you, are neutral. When your brain filters them they go into the good bucket or the bad bucket. Therefore you are completely able to change your filters and see things the way it is better to see them.
So you are completely right in saying that by thinking of things differently, you will alleviate your stress.
Put perception into the stress scenario.
Stress, to begin with, is an overused term. In humans stress refers to the psychological, emotional and physiological reactions to situations where you feel threatened beyond your capacity to cope. Biologically, to be called 'stressed', your body needs to be in 'fight or flight' mode for an extended period of time, which your body then accepts as homeostatic, ie it is now normal for the body to have a constantly high respiration rate, heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension etc. This means you're stressed. Normally though, when people use the term stress, it means that they are feeling harassed, hopeless, pressured etc. So maybe you aren't stressed after all! But maybe you are.
So if you are stressed, or even if you think you are, there is a psychological method of stress management that I'm very fond of, because it focuses more on the problem rather than the effects of the problem. There's three simple steps to it: Assessment, Stress Reduction, and Application.
Assessment: what really is the problem? What is causing you to feel stressed? Be rational and logical about it, and analyse what the problem really is.
Stress Reduction: You decide whether you can cope with the problem. In yes, you go onto the 3rd part. If you decide it is outwith your mental and physical ability to cope with the stress-causer, then you either reduce the stressor or you seek help.
Application: Be realistic about what you can actually do about the stressor. This usually involves, adapting and/or accepting. (if you cannot remove it). For example, people are bothered about the weather, like if it is really rainy one morning. The rain is outwith your locus of control, therefore you have to adapt and accept it. And you do that by changing your perception of it from stressor to neutral.
Stress has a 'transactional nature'. This means that it is a two way thing, and the two directions are the stressor and the person. In the middle is perception. Therefore the transactional nature of stress is such that it is dependent upon the perception of the individual.
Change your perception, and you won't be stressed anymore.
Sazarina88
Hardiness training by Kobasa
Teaching people to become ‘hardy’ and to help them cope with stress by creating a programme of training.
1. Focusing – learn to realise when you are stressed – signs.
2. Reconstruct the stressful situations – think of the worst and best
outcomes.
3. Compensate through self-improvement – find tasks you can do,
reassuring yourself that you can cope.
Ooohhh Hardiness training! Another favourite! Although I'm more particular to Stress Inoculation Training myself...
Reply 13
zain88
Ooohhh Hardiness training! Another favourite! Although I'm more particular to Stress Inoculation Training myself...
Ooooh! That was in my notes too ... let me look ...
My AS Level Revision Notes
Meichenbaum – Stress inoculation therapy
Cognitive – changes your thinking.
1. Assessment – therapist and patient discuss potential problem areas.
2. Relaxation and mantras.
3. Role play situation and then do it for real.
+/- Good for moderate stress but not as effective for severe.
- Not all individuals can effectively use this method.
Meichenbaum – Stress inoculation therapy
Cognitive – changes your thinking.
1. Assessment – therapist and patient discuss potential problem areas.
2. Relaxation and mantras.
3. Role play situation and then do it for real.
+/- Good for moderate stress but not as effective for severe.
- Not all individuals can effectively use this method.
Reply 14
My advice is not let things that have happened get you down. If you screw up an exam you can always retake. Your life is still ahead of you, live it how you want to. Don't be afraid of being yourself, I find just acting like myself (I'm pretty strange btw, spent the day walking around work saying "gonna eat you little fishy" from Red Dwarf, because i felt like it, and I don't care what others think)
"Life's far too important to be taken seriously" (not quite sure who said that)
"Life's far too important to be taken seriously" (not quite sure who said that)
Reply 15
is there anything in ure psychology notes about confidence? building it up? etc? xxxx
Reply 16
I didn't do it in Psychology at A-Level. Let me have a quick look on the net...
Reply 17
BBC site on building confidence and self esteem
Steve Pavlina podcast on boosting confidence
The value of confidence from Steve Pavlina
Pavlina can be quite difficult to read but I'd certainly give it a go
Steve Pavlina podcast on boosting confidence
The value of confidence from Steve Pavlina
Pavlina can be quite difficult to read but I'd certainly give it a go
fairycakes
basically atm, i'm soo stressed atm, with uni work, guys (exes and lack of replacements), trying to enhance my cv, feeling like competing with ppl all the time, trying to use all my timoe productively, making new friends, keeping exisiting ones close...
Uni: Aslong as you know you're working to the best of your skills, thats the main thing, and if you didnt do very well, well its not end of the world.
Guys: if Ex's wasn't good enough for whatever reason, your better off without them, you may struggle to find a guy right now but its best to be patient rather than want to rush to get another guy, may seem good idea now but might not be in the long run.
Competing with people: Why waste your time competing with people if you gain no rewards?? use that time to study and enjoy yourself, you would feel alot better about yourself this way rather than becoming addicted to competing with others.
Friends: Treat your current friends the way you always do, and dont try to hard in a attempt to make new friends and you should be ok here.
I hope this is of some sort of help.
Related discussions
- Is it bad to change course twice?
- Health
- Kitchen Porter
- Uni work is draining
- Considering a Career Switch from IT to Teaching
- IB or A-Level?
- Dropping out year 13
- Just need opinion
- What are the things that you love about yourself ?
- x_
- Imposter syndrome about changing courses
- Student nurses
- is it normal to not be stressed about alevel results day
- Preparing for clearing and uni - how are you dealing with stress?
- Preparing for clearing and uni - how are you doing?
- What do you do to help manage UCAS stress? 😬
- International Management BSC at UCL
- Architecture at UCL / Manchester / Cardiff / Bath
- How to manage stress at University?
- Where to go for support during exam season
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