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my girlfriend sucks
..or rather, she doesn't.
here's the story - my girlfriend refuses to engage in oral sex with me. she says that she's "scared she'll be **** then i'll hate her".
the thing is, she cheating on me long ago, and gave a guy a blow job. she claims she can do it to people she doesn't care about, but not to me.
this really upsets me, firstly because i, to put it bluntly, want a blow job from her, and secondly (and more importantly) because it really hurts me that there are things that she'll do with other boys, but not with me.
so... what can i do? if i ever ask when we're having a 'moment', she'll say no, and the mood will be ruined. but i really don't know if i can go on like this... yet i can hardly break up with her because she won't suck my penis...
argh. total ramble. help.
here's the story - my girlfriend refuses to engage in oral sex with me. she says that she's "scared she'll be **** then i'll hate her".
the thing is, she cheating on me long ago, and gave a guy a blow job. she claims she can do it to people she doesn't care about, but not to me.
this really upsets me, firstly because i, to put it bluntly, want a blow job from her, and secondly (and more importantly) because it really hurts me that there are things that she'll do with other boys, but not with me.
so... what can i do? if i ever ask when we're having a 'moment', she'll say no, and the mood will be ruined. but i really don't know if i can go on like this... yet i can hardly break up with her because she won't suck my penis...
argh. total ramble. help.
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littlenat01
not saying you aren't totally hygienic or anything
but are you extremely, extremely clean and lovely-smelling down there? i know that i personally wouldnt want to do something like that if my bf wasnt squeaky clean, and she may just be too polite to say anything.
xXx
but are you extremely, extremely clean and lovely-smelling down there? i know that i personally wouldnt want to do something like that if my bf wasnt squeaky clean, and she may just be too polite to say anything.
xXx
oh, i am. i suppose i should've said though - she won't even touch me down there, not even through clothes, when i guide her hand.. so that's really not it.
Explain that you would never hate her, no matter what she's like. But maybe there is another reason she isn't telling you?
How are you asking her? You may be killing the moment if you are too blunt.
Just because she gave some guy a blowjob long ago doesn't mean she must give you one. Maybe that was her first time and she didn't like it. Maybe she remembers that and doesn't want to associate you to this person. She may now associate blowjobs with plain sex rather than love. There may be a lot of reasons why she has a psychological block on blowjobs.
Don't be too harsh on her. Does it matter that much that you are considering throwing away the whole relationship? Thats a lot of pressure on her to perform.
Try to make up for it in other ways by being adventurous. You don't need a blowjob every day for a healthy sex life.
How are you asking her? You may be killing the moment if you are too blunt.
Just because she gave some guy a blowjob long ago doesn't mean she must give you one. Maybe that was her first time and she didn't like it. Maybe she remembers that and doesn't want to associate you to this person. She may now associate blowjobs with plain sex rather than love. There may be a lot of reasons why she has a psychological block on blowjobs.
Don't be too harsh on her. Does it matter that much that you are considering throwing away the whole relationship? Thats a lot of pressure on her to perform.
Try to make up for it in other ways by being adventurous. You don't need a blowjob every day for a healthy sex life.
You can't make her do something she doesn't want to do. However, it does seem really weird that she'll do it to other people. Maybe she sees it as something purely sexual and with no feeling attatched, thus doesn't want to do it to someone she cares about? Maybe the guy she did it with told her she was rubbish so she is now scared that if she does it with you, someone who means something, the result will not be good?
Anonymous
oh, i am. i suppose i should've said though - she won't even touch me down there, not even through clothes, when i guide her hand.. so that's really not it.
After what she did with that other guy, that's ridiculous!I'd break up with her. I mean, if I were you I'd have split up with her after she cheated. But if she gave that guy a part of herself that she won't give you; that's wrong.
Anonymous
oh, i am. i suppose i should've said though - she won't even touch me down there, not even through clothes, when i guide her hand.. so that's really not it.
I would confront her, in a nice way. I mean, physical and sexual contact is important in a relationship, at least in my opinion.
why dont u ask her for one if you wear a condom to see what she says?? The pleasure might be as good though!
Do you do oral on her?
bunthulhu
You should tell her that if she'll give some random bloke what he wants sexually but won't do the same for you, then you're having serious doubts about the relationship.
Anyone who will happily go off doing anything that random people want but won't perform any sexual acts on their boyfriend doesn't want a boyfriend, in my books.I don't want to upset you, but if she's refusing that sort of intimacy I personally don't think it's a great sign.
With my ex-bf I used to refuse to let him go down on me - I hated the thought of it. He used to be upset because I said I could probably cope with it from a stranger, but not from him. Then we broke up.
With my new bf I really like it and it's the best sort of lovely thing ever. I never imagined I could like it before him.
Anyway, what my ramble is saying is that it's not a great sign and you're picking up on that. The fact is also compounded by the fact that she cheated on you and did precisely what she refuses to do with you. I can't give you any solutions, but just saying that you're not being paranoid and it could be a sign that she's not in the right frame of mind for a full relationship with you.
With my ex-bf I used to refuse to let him go down on me - I hated the thought of it. He used to be upset because I said I could probably cope with it from a stranger, but not from him. Then we broke up.
With my new bf I really like it and it's the best sort of lovely thing ever. I never imagined I could like it before him.
Anyway, what my ramble is saying is that it's not a great sign and you're picking up on that. The fact is also compounded by the fact that she cheated on you and did precisely what she refuses to do with you. I can't give you any solutions, but just saying that you're not being paranoid and it could be a sign that she's not in the right frame of mind for a full relationship with you.
bunthulhu
You should tell her that if she'll give some random bloke what he wants sexually but won't do the same for you, then you're having serious doubts about the relationship.
That could be (mis)construed as "you don't give head so I'm thinking of breaking up with you."
Perhaps the lass is embarrassed. The image of your own head bobbing up and down is not that endearing; she may be thinking of what you're seeing.
Maybe she thinks that she's not very good at giving. In which case, that's even more embarrassing than the above.
Or perhaps she needs to trust you a bit more. Believe me, unless I know that a man won't use the expererience against me (e.g. won't, in the future, call me a slut, upload pictures/videos of the acts in discussion), I won't go anywhere near his bits.
Or, maybe there is a deep-deated problem within the relationship. But, no offence, if you're so childish as to say something such as 'my girlfriend sucks' then, really, GOOD LUCK.
Anonymous
That could be (mis)construed as "you don't give head so I'm thinking of breaking up with you."
Perhaps the lass is embarrassed. The image of your own head bobbing up and down is not that endearing; she may be thinking of what you're seeing.
Maybe she thinks that she's not very good at giving. In which case, that's even more embarrassing than the above.
Or perhaps she needs to trust you a bit more. Believe me, unless I know that a man won't use the expererience against me (e.g. won't, in the future, call me a slut, upload pictures/videos of the acts in discussion), I won't go anywhere near his bits.
Or, maybe there is a deep-deated problem within the relationship. But, no offence, if you're so childish as to say something such as 'my girlfriend sucks' then, really, GOOD LUCK.
Perhaps the lass is embarrassed. The image of your own head bobbing up and down is not that endearing; she may be thinking of what you're seeing.
Maybe she thinks that she's not very good at giving. In which case, that's even more embarrassing than the above.
Or perhaps she needs to trust you a bit more. Believe me, unless I know that a man won't use the expererience against me (e.g. won't, in the future, call me a slut, upload pictures/videos of the acts in discussion), I won't go anywhere near his bits.
Or, maybe there is a deep-deated problem within the relationship. But, no offence, if you're so childish as to say something such as 'my girlfriend sucks' then, really, GOOD LUCK.
To be honest, if she has half a brain then she'll understand the problem. Unless she has some phenomenally good reason, I just don't think there's a decent explanation as to why she'd cheat on him (bad enough) and worse, share a sexual relationship with a stranger instead of him!
Think that is bad?
My ex would want me to do it to her, and some times even hinted at me to do so, but at the same time didn't want to return the favour...
Anyway, you can't force her to do anything she doesn't feel comfortable with, but if she ever cheats on you again it is time to let go.
My ex would want me to do it to her, and some times even hinted at me to do so, but at the same time didn't want to return the favour...
Anyway, you can't force her to do anything she doesn't feel comfortable with, but if she ever cheats on you again it is time to let go.
I know some girls that genuinely just don't like doing it...
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