Boyfriend getting close to another girl

We are rowing loads at the moment because myboyfriend got real friendly with a girl in his house this year , they were doing loads together and I was feeling sidelined and to add to it all we are in a LDR and he wasn't visiting as much . I'm worried he might end it with me for this girl. On a positive note though next year his group of housemates has split and he hasn't chosen to live with group this girl has gone with. My thinking being then if they were getting closer surely they would still want to live together going forward ? My friend said its so they can start dating properly :frown:

Reply 1

daydream28

If I were you I would either tell him straight that you won't take any ****, and if there's anything between him and the girl then either he end the friendship now or he stops wasting your time if it's her he really wants.

Seriously not worth the stress and paranoia some people create by getting too close with 'friends' whilst in a relationship

Reply 2

Smonnie

Original post by Anonymous

Yes, I would have been worried, but it's good that they're no longer living together.

Not nice to think they have been sleeping in the same house though...

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by daydream28

Thanks ! I agree ... So my friend might be right they're living apart so they can date 'properly'

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Smonnie

Yes, I would have been worried, but it's good that they're no longer living together.

Not nice to think they have been sleeping in the same house though...

Thanks I know ... I don't want to imagine what happens after a night of drinking and partying etc

Reply 5

daydream28

What has he said to you about her? I really hope this all works out for you and he does the correct thing. If not, then you'll see he wasn't right for you and you'll be free to find a guy who is :smile:

Reply 6

Smonnie

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks I know ... I don't want to imagine what happens after a night of drinking and partying etc

That's what I mean. Or even just, "we were watching a movie in her room"...

Reply 7

SonicOfPron

To me, it seems that either
A]Your jealous that he's getting close to another female,
B]You have trust issues with him,
C]You've cheated on him in the past and now have a guilty conscience.

If you truly love the guy then give him the freedom and talk to him with regards to this. You never know, there can/cold be innocent reason for it all.

Reply 8

Jimmyforeal

yeah his probably cheating or what the above person said. speak to him regarding this and hopefully youll get your answer.

Reply 9

critchln

I've become close to loads of other girls throughout my current relationship (which is 10 years in Sept). This includes hanging out together and weekends when my girlfriend has been working, staying late in the office (I'm a PhD student) to help them work out problems, crashing on sofas after a night out and going abroad to conferences etc. Hell, I'm even here giving you advice, even though we know nothing about each other!

Honestly, though it is simply because I get on so much better with girls than I do guys in almost all the friendship groups I've been in. it isn't impossible! Some of them I have definitely found attractive and other have not, and I've always had very good chemistry with them. However, each of the time I've got close it's has only ever been as very good friends, and never anything else. I remain good friends with pretty much all of them, and I wouldn't have wanted paranoia to remove the opportunity to make such good friends.

The thing is, however, I'm just very transparent about it with my girlfriend. If I'm hanging out with another girl I'll always invite her too (if appropriate/possible), if I'm stopping out after a night out I would tell where and with whom, likewise if I am working late or travelling. If she ever asked me I'd never lie. My girlfriend is not just my girlfriend, she is my best friend and we have a level of trust that I don't have with anyone else. If you have that, then you have a good relationship - in my humble opinion.

What I'm trying to say is, it is easy to assume the worst case scenario, but in any relationship it is important to acknowledge things are rarely are unilateral as that. The fact is you know this guy probably better than most. Now that either means your suspicions are based on more than just his current behaviour, or it's a self-reflection of your own confidence (i.e. you've been here before...). Either way, if he is a genuinely good guy then if you ask him about it he will be honest. Now that could be either good or bad news, because you equally may find out he has become a massive ****

I'm not saying you should, or should not, ask him about it. It is your choice, and your relationship. Just don't let yourself get messed about.