ouch, people think i'm ugly

I know this sounds like a really shallow and silly thing, but me and a group of friends got drunk this eve and they started ranking people in our group on how attractive they are. As you can predict by now, I got ranked very low. I've always been very insecure about my appearance but i counteracted it by making an effort eg. dressing well and wearing lots of make-up. Now i feel awful cos obviously my efforts make no difference. I'm wondering what else i can possibly do now to improve things short of a face transplant? I'm aware that this sounds shallow and vain but i'm genuinely upset because it's clear to me that looks are the most important thing to society today and while that won't change i'll have to. Thank u for reading x

Reply 1

G4ry

1

Lots of make-up isn't a good thing. Less is more. Are you trying to go out with society or something?

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

I know how you feel, I'm also really insecure about my image. I would put on makeup for a night out and feel quite good about myself but that feeling only lasts for so long... my the end of the night I'm feeling crap again. It's probably because I look at every other girl and think that they look much nicer and are more attractive! Anyway what I'm trying to say is, you're not the only girl to feel this way :smile:

try to accentuate your best features.. and believe me you do have some! smile and act confident... apparently boys like girls with confidence! it will help you feel better about yourself too because after a while you start to believe you're confident and it will come more easily :smile:

and don't worry! you're not acting shallow and vain :hugs:

x

Reply 3

Ink

12

Yeah, make sure you aren't overdoing the makeup.

Anyway, if I were you, I'd work on the things I COULD change. Work out and eat right, to make sure your body is hot, at least...continue to dress nice, and remind yourself that there is a lot more to a person than looks. As long as you've got a good head on your shoulders and a good personality, you are still going to have great friends and go places in life.

Matter of fact, some would even say it's good to be less attractive as a girl, because people take you more seriously if you're going into a serious profession (they don't see you as just eye candy or an object, or assume you got where you are through girlish wiles).

Further, you can be secure in that all your friends are around you for YOU, not for something to stare at.

There are benefits to not being the best looking in the bunch. Keep a good attitude about it, be confident in who you are, and people will see past it, especially as you grow older :smile:

Reply 4

Talon

18

If you want a 100% honest answer to the how you look question send me a photo and ill give you an honest answer. If not remember that you lot were drunk at the time so I wouldnt consider it "fact" if I were you :smile:

.

Interestingly enough when I was in a bar with some friends we were discussing a related subject, and we concluded that "attractiveness" is defined not by the person being judged but by the person doing the judging. Just because I find someone attractive it doesnt mean that my friends will, and vice versa,

Reply 5

Mark S

17

Can't believe the mods are taking down my posts. ok lets do this their way. OOO YOU SOO GOOD LOOKING DONT WORRY HUNNI IT'LL BE ALRIGHT, HAVE A CUPPA TEA.

Reply 6

JC.

19

afraid you will just have to come to accept what you've got.
unfortunately I have to make do with the "last chicken in the shop" look too.
I have an absolubtly stunning g/f though. She can look pretty for the both of us at least, thats how I see it.

Reply 7

Nix!

11

Markus Amberbolt

Can't believe the mods are taking down my posts. ok lets do this their way. OOO YOU SOO GOOD LOOKING DONT WORRY HUNNI IT'LL BE ALRIGHT, HAVE A CUPPA TEA.

Right, I could understand the sarcasm on other threads due to the nature of them but why this one? The OP obviously has a genuine reason for the thread unlike most of the other repeated dribble.

OP, it's hard to give you an honest answer without a picture. If you want a perfectly honest, impartial opinion, you can message me if you wish. The chances are your friends were just being mean - friends are like that sometimes. Also, it's more than likely you're far more attractive than you give yourself credit for. Most 'attractive' people, barring the arrogant ***** tend to see themselves in a very negative light.

Reply 8

ponjavic

1

So you people offering to take the picture would you actually have the guts telling the person he/she was ugly if he/she was? That would just be cruel :P

Reply 9

high priestess fnord

9

pictures arent acurate anyway, they can either be very flattering or very unflattering.

anyway pretty much ditto to all the makeup comments, too much looks awful. im sure it isnt as bad as you think, there must be some things you like about yourself. the way you view yourself also affects other peoples opinions of you, if you project confidence then you will be automatically more attractive.

Reply 10

theonehitwonder

2

Deja Vu? I recall a similar thread maybe 2 weeks ago. Work what you can change, i.e. being fit and looking healthy.

Reply 11

FroggieFrog

You need to learn to love yourself.

People can pick up on others insecurities easily and this might have just been what your friends meant. To be honest i find it quite strange that friends would be so blunt, i couldnt be to my mates i love them far too much for me to be so negative.

Attractiveness is very personal, not everyone finds the same people attractive.

Reply 12

Hev456

11

Why do you care that your friends think you're less attractive (although i'm guessing you didn't get a 0)? Doesn't mean everyone will think the same. If you look after yourself and feel good about yourself then looks really aren't everything.

I just don't get girls that think wearing make-up will solve everything, I dont' wear any make-up and I don't ever want to - why should you have to cover up what you were born with? Do lads wear it? No. Does not wearing make-up automatically make you ugly? No. See my point? Learn to love what you've got, there's no point dwelling on what you can't change (although i know from experience it's an easy thing to do).

Reply 13

white_haired_wizard

16

your 'friends' are ******s. Enough said.

Reply 14

aurion

Anonymous

I know how you feel, I'm also really insecure about my image. I would put on makeup for a night out and feel quite good about myself but that feeling only lasts for so long... my the end of the night I'm feeling crap again. It's probably because I look at every other girl and think that they look much nicer and are more attractive! Anyway what I'm trying to say is, you're not the only girl to feel this way :smile:

try to accentuate your best features.. and believe me you do have some! smile and act confident... apparently boys like girls with confidence! it will help you feel better about yourself too because after a while you start to believe you're confident and it will come more easily :smile:

and don't worry! you're not acting shallow and vain :hugs:

x

couldnt have said it better myself

Reply 15

jumpinglunch

13

beauty is in the eye of the beholder......,

Reply 16

hazm

You need confidence. Confidence is very sexy.

Reply 17

Carl

14

It's alright, I'm an ugly bastard too :biggrin:

I just make up for it by making the best of what I've got, looking smart when I need to etc etc. Being a bit moche shouldn't be a barrier to the opposite sex, and by the sounds of it your friends are a bit insensitive to say the least.

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks for your replies everyone, with the exception of one post (you can guess which) everything said was really helpful. All I can do is work with what i've been given and emphasise the features I like (I have long blonde hair, an hourglass figure and blue eyes). Things could be far worse, though it is hard to keep things in perspective when you feel under pressure to be thin and stunningly beautiful.

Reply 19

white_haired_wizard

16

Anonymous

Thanks for your replies everyone, with the exception of one post (you can guess which) everything said was really helpful. All I can do is work with what i've been given and emphasise the features I like (I have long blonde hair, an hourglass figure and blue eyes). Things could be far worse, though it is hard to keep things in perspective when you feel under pressure to be thin and stunningly beautiful.

no, that one post is something that shouldn't be ignored. You clearly don't have friends that value human sensitivies do you??? for goodness sakes, peoples sensitivities are at stake when you're doing one of these ridiculous, "rate me/him/her/they" competitons, and it is a sorry fact that your friends are pretty heartless as they chose to indulge in such a stupid thing to do. So, i'd say my post was pretty meaningful.

Not to mention the fact that i'm sure those participating in this kind of thing, may well possibly be even lying when rating others, because they do in fact have sensitivies at the forefront of their mind/s and their respective protection. So, isn't this all a bit pointless? They may rate a girl higher than yourself in terms of looks etc, when with her, because they know she lacks self esteem when it comes to looks, hence a white lie as such so as to somehow boost her self-esteem a little bit, knowing full-well that your own doesn't so much....etc...maybe don't take such things so literally???

ouch, people think i'm ugly

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