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Depressed

I don't know if its Seasonal Affective Disorder but I am so depressed. I think s.a.d has influenced it. Waking up and leaving home in the cold and it is not even that bright, staying on a crowded silent, miserable/noisy miserable bus for half and hour and going to 6th form everyday to a place that I have seen almost everyday for 6 years with people that irritate me and that I don't feel a part of is geting me down. I come home with the same miserable journey so a miserably empty house, I do nothing in the living room till my mum gets home, then I go to my room and no nothing. My mum complains of back and shoulder pain she has from work and I feel bad because she has to come home and cook. I don't cook because I've never really been taught and she won't let me so I feel guilty. I go to sleep late because I hate sleeping and sometime I feel that I shouldn't sleep because I have work to do. I wake up quite alert and get ready and go to the miserable busstop. When I get to 6th form no-one is there yet even though registration starts about 5 mins later. When I go to my lessons my teachers all ask me for work and have a go at me and I m so depressed I havent done it but say I'll give it in soon.
I go to an empty home and try to make myself happy or drown my sorrows. But attempting to make myself happy only wastes time and then I really don't get anything done.
There are such high expectations of me and I hate it. I know Im clever and hardworking at times but I hate having to be that all the time, having to constantly prove myself. Why is there so much competition in the world? Why is there so much pressure? I want a relaxed life. I hate all this. I never get to have any fun. I hate coming home to an empty house, that makes me depressed more.

Reply 1

blissy

15

Do you think this is just a depressed mood (which is quite a normal human emotion - although not a pleasant one) or has it escalated to something more?

This time of year is particularly bad for not being able to see the "bright side" (heh). If you think things are too much you could find someone to talk to about the pressures you feel you're under. Ideally you'd want something to be changed to relieve those pressures but sometimes it's not always possible.

Don't feel embarrassed or unworthy of going to the GP if you feel it's taking a turn for the worse.

Reply 2

JC.

19

Can empathise with you in some respects.
I was rather inconsiderate towards my g/f last week. Ive hurt her and its a much bigger deal to me than it is to her at the moment. Wont go into it because its your thread and I seem to be hijacking threads lots lately. :/

Im considering a bottle of scotch as the way forward for this evening at least :frown:

Reply 3

goodLife

Anonymous

I don't know if its Seasonal Affective Disorder but I am so depressed. I think s.a.d has influenced it. Waking up and leaving home in the cold and it is not even that bright, staying on a crowded silent, miserable/noisy miserable bus for half and hour and going to 6th form everyday to a place that I have seen almost everyday for 6 years with people that irritate me and that I don't feel a part of is geting me down. I come home with the same miserable journey so a miserably empty house, I do nothing in the living room till my mum gets home, then I go to my room and no nothing. My mum complains of back and shoulder pain she has from work and I feel bad because she has to come home and cook. I don't cook because I've never really been taught and she won't let me so I feel guilty. I go to sleep late because I hate sleeping and sometime I feel that I shouldn't sleep because I have work to do. I wake up quite alert and get ready and go to the miserable busstop. When I get to 6th form no-one is there yet even though registration starts about 5 mins later. When I go to my lessons my teachers all ask me for work and have a go at me and I m so depressed I havent done it but say I'll give it in soon.
I go to an empty home and try to make myself happy or drown my sorrows. But attempting to make myself happy only wastes time and then I really don't get anything done.
There are such high expectations of me and I hate it. I know Im clever and hardworking at times but I hate having to be that all the time, having to constantly prove myself. Why is there so much competition in the world? Why is there so much pressure? I want a relaxed life. I hate all this. I never get to have any fun. I hate coming home to an empty house, that makes me depressed more.

Hey, do you want to pm me because Im in EXACTLY the same situation as you and have even made a thread about it similar to this. I only do things because I feel its my duty too, if people do nothing no one likes them (or so it seems) I talk to people at college but cannot class them as friends as most have there own families. I come home tired to an empty house too and just wait for my mum to get home and then she doesn't take much notice of me. She'l just say 'switch the bath on' then she has a bath and goes to her room watching TV. I do have friends but they are all married, some with babies but they have there own lives now, for some reason Ive not grown up.

Reply 4

Dalimyr

17

blissy

Don't feel embarrassed or unworthy of going to the GP if you feel it's taking a turn for the worse.

Easier said than done when you're depressed...it took me four months of repeatedly telling myself I'd do it before I finally arranged an appointment with my GP about my depression, and that wasn't even from when I WAS depressed, it was from when I felt I may get depressed (my depression was mostly academically-based, so if I felt I would screw up my exams, I knew I'd be depressed)

Anonymous

There are such high expectations of me and I hate it. I know Im clever and hardworking at times but I hate having to be that all the time, having to constantly prove myself. Why is there so much competition in the world? Why is there so much pressure? I want a relaxed life. I hate all this. I never get to have any fun. I hate coming home to an empty house, that makes me depressed more.

I can relate to that. The best thing to do is to find something where you CAN relax and don't have the stresses of everything around you on your mind. My relaxation method of choice is to play on my Playstation. When I'm playing a game, I'm completely absorbed into the game world; it didn't matter if I had five essays due for the end of the week, if my teachers were bawling at me because I'd forgotten my homework again or if I had an exam in two days...when I was on the Playstation, the only thing on my mind was what was happening on the screen in front of me.

Reply 5

lawzer

dnt worry your prob rite,,,, but just so u know it was calc i think jan 24 2 b most depressin day of teh year!! just keep chin up as much as possible..get someting2 looj 4ward 2

Reply 6

danni_bella

17

Whenever I get reminded of my mother I become depressed. :/

Reply 7

blissy

15

Dalimyr

Easier said than done when you're depressed...it took me four months of repeatedly telling myself I'd do it before I finally arranged an appointment with my GP about my depression, and that wasn't even from when I WAS depressed, it was from when I felt I may get depressed (my depression was mostly academically-based, so if I felt I would screw up my exams, I knew I'd be depressed)

I understand, as feeling unworthy can be a symptom of depression. I was hoping my reassurance would be encouraging :smile:

Reply 8

suneilr

3

Dalimyr

Easier said than done when you're depressed...it took me four months of repeatedly telling myself I'd do it before I finally arranged an appointment with my GP about my depression, and that wasn't even from when I WAS depressed, it was from when I felt I may get depressed

I know what you mean. I've been feeling depressed for the last year and a bit, and I keep meaning to go to see a GP but I never get around to it.

Reply 9

aati_x

aww... im guna send a *hug* to all of u.....i hate being depressed, but I cant help myself sumtyms..the weather gets to me, and weve had alot of deaths in my family this past month and other stuff which have added to it(which im nto gunna mention, cos its far too much).... I seem to get over it, when talkin about it to my mates...n dey always cheer me up agen...so if u wanna talk... am ere..!

Reply 10

graveyarddreams

13

Anonymous

I don't know if its Seasonal Affective Disorder but I am so depressed. I think s.a.d has influenced it. Waking up and leaving home in the cold and it is not even that bright, staying on a crowded silent, miserable/noisy miserable bus for half and hour and going to 6th form everyday to a place that I have seen almost everyday for 6 years with people that irritate me and that I don't feel a part of is geting me down. I come home with the same miserable journey so a miserably empty house, I do nothing in the living room till my mum gets home, then I go to my room and no nothing. My mum complains of back and shoulder pain she has from work and I feel bad because she has to come home and cook. I don't cook because I've never really been taught and she won't let me so I feel guilty. I go to sleep late because I hate sleeping and sometime I feel that I shouldn't sleep because I have work to do. I wake up quite alert and get ready and go to the miserable busstop. When I get to 6th form no-one is there yet even though registration starts about 5 mins later. When I go to my lessons my teachers all ask me for work and have a go at me and I m so depressed I havent done it but say I'll give it in soon.
I go to an empty home and try to make myself happy or drown my sorrows. But attempting to make myself happy only wastes time and then I really don't get anything done.
There are such high expectations of me and I hate it. I know Im clever and hardworking at times but I hate having to be that all the time, having to constantly prove myself. Why is there so much competition in the world? Why is there so much pressure? I want a relaxed life. I hate all this. I never get to have any fun. I hate coming home to an empty house, that makes me depressed more.

I'm in the same situation. I also do nothing in the living room when i get home from college till my mum gets home, then I go to my room and do nothing. I also have lots of other health- related problems on top of that which makes me more depressed. I can't be bothered to do anything and don;t complete my work, though i know it's never beyond my abilities. The only difference is that i love to sleep, it's the only thing i look forward to all day, nightmares or not. I guess maybe talking to friends will help, or read some fiction, try writing poetry, keep a diary, maybe go somewhere unfamiliar with a friend so to experience a change in environment and break free from routine? I don't think you should try to make yourself happy, that never works, all that will do is put an additional burden on you by making you feel obliged to be happy which will lead to deeper depression. Try doing something you enjoy and you might feel better and more moitvated to work. Hope you get better.

Reply 11

À la mode

1

I feel exactly the same. I feel like my life has no substance. My brother went to uni in september and my parents both get home late. I get really lonely and fed up with sixth form, deadlines, homework, exams, uni choices, it all adds up and makes me feel really depressed. One of my parents has depression so when they get home I have to look after them (if it's a bleak day.) I don't have time to worry about myself I have to look after parent 1) till the other gets home. Then I have to look after parent2)then because they have had a 'long day at work'. They both feel sorry for me and how my life is and feel guilty, but that doesnt stop me feeling like crap.They say it's ok as im off to uni in september so i wont need to worry about them! That makes me feel guilty. And even worse!
I constantly feel drained and pressurised and nervy. But I don't think it's depression...I think i'm just very run down at the moment, and have a lot on my plate.
(Enough of me, sorry to go on ) what I meant to say was there are so many people who feel the same way and the only way of finding if its depression, is to go to your GP. Also does it matter whether you do or not? In some ways it would be better because you can get treated for it, but if you don't have it, you may feel crap/helpless because there is nothing you think you can do.
The point is that you are feeling a bit ****e (to put it bluntly) so you need to concentrate on the things that make you happy. e.g. surrounding yourself with people you like, watch a nice film, read a good book, eat chocolate! It sounds stupid but all the little things that make you smile will add up. just do a few things every day that make you smile. :smile:

And remember it could just be SAD!

Reply 12

henryt

17

Firstly,

Secondly, lots of people love you.
Thirdly, Winter is indeed miserable, with the weather being glum and people being generally more stressed when it comes to everything. It's not just you.
Fourthly, your life definitely does have meaning - think of how many people would miss you if you were gone. Making other people happy is meaning enough.
Lastly, :hugs:

and more

and don't let people get you down.

Reply 13

Jonesy_LJ

S.A.D. can be a terrible afflication, but the good news is that it's getting lighter now, by 15 minutes every week, so thats something positive to think of :smile:

.

With regards to going home to an empty house, are there maybe some clubs or societies that you could be involved in after school and you could maybe get a later bus? Seems as though all you really need is to have some companionship.

I'm not sure if what I've said is helpful or not, but know that everybody feels the way you do now at some time or another, and it'll pass eventually :smile:

.

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

yeah I think it gets to a lot of people, I think for me at least, it's a combination of the dull day and having nothing in my life except a girlfriend who I'm not sure actually cares for me and certainly seems to put me way behind most other things in her life :frown:

you should just try to keep going, find something to focus on and give you a direction and don't forget that what you want is ore important than what other people want of you :hugs:

I am desperate for a bit of sunshine, kind of, lifts a weight off my shoulders.

Reply 15

Anonymous #3

Anonymous

I don't know if its Seasonal Affective Disorder but I am so depressed. I think s.a.d has influenced it. Waking up and leaving home in the cold and it is not even that bright, staying on a crowded silent, miserable/noisy miserable bus for half and hour and going to 6th form everyday to a place that I have seen almost everyday for 6 years with people that irritate me and that I don't feel a part of is geting me down. I come home with the same miserable journey so a miserably empty house, I do nothing in the living room till my mum gets home, then I go to my room and no nothing. My mum complains of back and shoulder pain she has from work and I feel bad because she has to come home and cook. I don't cook because I've never really been taught and she won't let me so I feel guilty. I go to sleep late because I hate sleeping and sometime I feel that I shouldn't sleep because I have work to do. I wake up quite alert and get ready and go to the miserable busstop. When I get to 6th form no-one is there yet even though registration starts about 5 mins later. When I go to my lessons my teachers all ask me for work and have a go at me and I m so depressed I havent done it but say I'll give it in soon.
I go to an empty home and try to make myself happy or drown my sorrows. But attempting to make myself happy only wastes time and then I really don't get anything done.
There are such high expectations of me and I hate it. I know Im clever and hardworking at times but I hate having to be that all the time, having to constantly prove myself. Why is there so much competition in the world? Why is there so much pressure? I want a relaxed life. I hate all this. I never get to have any fun. I hate coming home to an empty house, that makes me depressed more.

I'm not sure I have anything to add except that I thin I can relate to what you're feeling.

I used to live in a house with a single parent (dad though - I always felt so guilty though because he was massively overworked essentially for my sakes), making the same crappy journey to school everyday and spending my time with people I didn't particularly like. I never had fun, I always felt so empty and alone. Whenever I had a problem or an issue there was nobody there to lean on, you have to just pick yourself up and move on. And the pressure to perform was extreme; I was getting full marks in exams and my dad was accepting that as normal. I had to get 5 A's, I had to get into Cambridge (didn't! :P That was a fun week) etc.

I never really 'solved' that problem, I just staggered on until University and now things are better. I don't think you're clinically depressed or anything, you've just had some crap luck and things aren't working out very well.

I don't know about you but I always felt a bit guilty for feeling bad about my life considering the crap some people on here have to put up with, but it just really ground me down, knowing every day would be the same and there would be no reprieve.

Just...hang in there I guess, focus on the things that are important to you and try to make do with what you have until you can escape. And don't drink heavily (I assume that's what drowning your sorrows means), it never works.

Depressed

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