sleeping with your best friend

I am a girl and I've been in a close friendship with this guy for more than 5 years right now..I am 18, so yeah we were young at the beginning and we kind of fancied each other, but with the time we became just friends.. No attraction between us, not at all yeah I was involved in a serious relationship with one of his friend but we just weren't interested in having anything going on between us more than a friendship..
on friday though..we went out to the disco with one of my friend..maybe because of the alcohol,maybe because of the music,kind of sexy..we spent almost all the time..well just not in a proper "friendship way" XD.
On saturday(even worse..because this time we were sober)..we went to a movie theatre and out to dinner..just chatting as friends..as we always did (yeah we pretty often go out by ourselves)..than i got to his place (as still we always do..)..and..we had sex..i still don't manage to understand how so quickly we changed from the friend mood to the friends with benefits one..what the heck happened?..and it's even worse..my best friend(the girl one) just..loves him..she has been loving him for years..and I can't tell her what happened, I can't tell my group, actually anyone..
we were clear with each other "I am sleeping with you but thinking about my ex(i broke up with my ex just 2 months ago)" and he said the same (same situation)..we kind of helped each other moving on..but are we starting a sex relationship or it's just a once night stand?..I don't feel anything for him..anything..(never happened to me something like this..)..but i am attracted right now..so much. :frown:

Reply 1

generalebriety

16

Well, only you can say whether it's a one-night stand or not. It's possibly because you're upset over your ex. It's possibly because you've suppressed your attraction towards him for a few years. Either way... I think the only way to know for certain is to give it time. I could give examples, but in the end you're an individual and what is true for me may not be true for you. :smile:

Reply 2

Wez

14

Anonymous

we were clear with each other "I am sleeping with you but thinking about my ex(i broke up with my ex just 2 months ago)" and he said the same (same situation).

How can you not feel anything for him but be attracted to him? It can't be just physical if he's your friend imo.

Reply 3

matt@internet

12

hellohello12

H + R makes my own life seem so boring!

.

Reply 4

Ribomania

11

Basically theres not a lot anyone but u and this guy can do, especially if u dont (for obvious reasons) want to tell people and risk this getting back to the wrong people...

But, if it was good and u ike him, go for it, your mate might fancy him, but they wil get over it... He's only a guy after all...

Reply 5

silverbolt

19

exactly, dont worry about OP, you slept with him, your friends no big deal

Reply 6

RetiredAccount89

18

having had a similar experience with one of my oldest female friends i would say its a big mistake.

it crosses a friendship boundary and forever changes the dynamics of the freindship, often to the detriment of it.

Reply 7

Schmokie Dragon

17

This will change the friendship and maybe even ruin it. Do you really think you can ever be truly platonic again?

However, whether this is a FWB arrangement or a ONS is up to you and your self control.

I messed around with my best friend after I broke up with my boyfriend of two years. We never had sex but our interactions were less than platonic. I don't think it has really changed our friendship, because we already knew that we both really fancied eachother (despite him having a girlfriend :redface:

). However, it is a little messy and there are still risks such as people finding out (such as his girlfriend). That said, it did help me get over my ex as I had a new focus for my affections. The fact I subsequently went off the rockers is neither here nor there . . .

My advice would be to stop. It was fun the once, but unless you want a relationship with him, a FWB arrangement is unlikely to work as he is already a close friend. I would hate to see you ruin that. But such things are often far too tempting. Just be aware of the risks, and have fun.

(warning: do not confuse post-sex attraction with anything more. It really, really isn't)

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

yeah..i guess really everything changed since we did it..we are still talking of course and chatting on the phone and we might act like nothing happened but it's not the case(our topics are changing..)..I'm cool about it,but wondering if this will happen again..and he is too,according to what he says..i guess we're meeting on friday..as we always do to go to disco..and this will be the first time we met after what happened(i'm so busy and can't go out),it would be weird..because..it just won't be easy to stop..now that we don't see each other just as friends..
we are close friends but we make fun of each other all the time,'cause we don't have the same interests,but this is just one of the reasons we would hate each others in a real relationship..
we should stop..i guess,it feels tempting though..so much..maybe because for me it was the first time with just sex(the others in a long relationship)..

sleeping with your best friend

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