Bf being an idiot

Please help.

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half next week and everything is great apart from this one thing. i started uni last autumn and theres 8 of us on a corridor, four guys and 4 girls and we all get along great. But for some reason my bf has got it into his head that one of these guys fancies me. He doesnt, and he acts the same way around me as he does around everyone else, but he just wont believe it.

The reason he has such an issue is because we swapped numbers at the beginning of term and i didnt tell him. He lives on my corridor, as do other people, so i didn't think it was a big deal. The other reason is that my corridor friend came back from a trip and came to say hi and didnt realise my boyfriend was there as he thought he had gone home. My boyfriend is convinced he only came round because he thought he wasnt there and was taking the first chance he got to have some time alone with me. Which is bull.

We now argue about this all the time, even though ive begged him countless times to drop it he just wont and i dont know why. He claims i go uber defensive whenever his name i mentioned and i probably do, just because i dont want another damn argument. Every time i mention his name i get 20 questions and an interrogation of who what where when why and im sick of it. Its split us up a couple of times but we always sort it out.

I walk on eggshells for fear of upsetting him and he just has a go all the time. its really starting to get me down. Any advice? Why wont he just drop it? Please help me

Reply 1

britishseapower

14

why did you swap numbers? did you swap numbers with any of the other people you mentioned on the corridor?

Reply 2

Jennybean

13

I don't want to add fuel to the fire but it's often those with a guilty conscience who berate their other halves about cheating and the like, as they want to divert attention away from their own misadventures. This might be completely off target but are you 100% sure he's being faithful to you?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

yes it wasnt just him. although at the time his was the only males i had as he lives directly opposite so i knew him better than most of the others. Its just so silly, i dont know why he is persistently doing this, when we are together its fine, i was at his only yesterday, but i mention his name today and its off we go again.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

yeah positive. he spends every night on the phone to me! and i know his housemates and they would tell me. He's a postgrad so he's grown out of the going out every night mentality of most students.

Reply 5

britishseapower

14

well why mention him if you know your boyfriends reaction? I'm not advocating what your boyfriend is doing, it's pretty petty but if you know he's going to be like that if you mention this particular lad...

Reply 6

Jennybean

13

Anonymous

yeah positive. he spends every night on the phone to me! and i know his housemates and they would tell me. He's a postgrad so he's grown out of the going out every night mentality of most students.

Ok well then, maybe he just needs an ultimatum? Either he trusts you enough to be with you or you finish the relationship. He needs to realise that he is being offensive to you and your intentions towards him by bringing this up time and time again. Even if the guy did fancy you it wouldn't mean you'd get with him, right? So the isssue of whether the corridor friend is interested is a moot point, it's about your boyfriend trusting you not to cheat.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

I know. I have told him all this many times. And i tell him because if I dont and then i accidentally say soemthing later he has massive stresses because i have been deliberately keeping things from him, which fuels his opinions so it seems. Thing is i give him these ultimatums, we split up then the next day he just acts like nothing has happened, i cant do this anymore but it would be so difficuly without him. I have a disability and rely on him quite heavily for support.

Reply 8

britishseapower

14

Anonymous

I know. I have told him all this many times. And i tell him because if I dont and then i accidentally say soemthing later he has massive stresses because i have been deliberately keeping things from him, which fuels his opinions so it seems. Thing is i give him these ultimatums, we split up then the next day he just acts like nothing has happened, i cant do this anymore but it would be so difficuly without him. I have a disability and rely on him quite heavily for support.

well I'm assuming you haven't been going out with him forever so you must have managed well enough before

Reply 9

kaylewhale

Relationships arent supposed to be stressful and girl you sound stressed! All this watching what you say shouldnt have to happen! Do whatever you think is I right, Im a strong believer of fate and even though cheesey; follow ur heart, everything works out in the end xx

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

I am stressed! Its not a disability as such its a long term illness. It took them 9 months to diagnose me so i hadnt actually been diagnosed that long when we met. So he really has helped me a lot. Thing is , he doesnt even see that he's doing anything wrong, he always turns everything around and blames it on me. :frown:

Reply 11

britishseapower

14

unfortunately we can't fix your boyfriends insecurities, either he fixes it himself, you dump him or you stay with him and put up with him acting like an idiot, the choice is yours

Reply 12

JC.

19

All b/f's are idiots. Fact.
Ive upset my little angel this week too and feel like an utter cock for it. :frown:

Tell him how you feel about the situation when its not "issue of the day" as it were. You be the one to bring it up. You'll catch him off guard with any luck. Its a fact girls are smarter than guys when it comes to arguments so use your advantage! Well... a smart guy wont say much during an argument... it only bites him in the ass a week later! :wink:

I envy you people that get to spend every day with your partners. Ive seen my princess on average nights per month since I left for uni in september.
You don't miss what you have untill its not there any more. huh?

It'll be easter before I can afford fuel to go back and make things up to her propperly. At least you get the opportunity to make amends this week?

Best of luck.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

no he's doing his postgrad 4 hours away! thanks for the advice though guys, im going to bed now xx

Bf being an idiot

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