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For the past eighteen months I've been trawling nightclubs solo in order to build social skills.

I would make conversation with strangers. Both men and women. Some people would invite me into their groups, introduce me to their friends. I've been in a couple of confrontations and met various kinds of people.

The level of confidence / comfort I've developed with social situations in general is rather high. But I've also mulled many things over in my head and I now have some new-age philosophy and some uncomfortable beliefs under my belt.

Basically, I think I'm better than everyone. I don't like thinking this way because I really have a desire to get on with people properly and make them feel appreciated and wanted. I fear, though, that I've become too stuck-up.

I've received invites to parties, to nights out with groups of people, to the dance-floor with "me and my friend" and so on and so on. I reject many of them. It's pretty much an insta-rejection. I have an ego-preservation strategy that makes me reject a person or group of people so they can't reject me.

This behavior that I have is untenable. Has anyone successfully amended a flaw like this in their personality? I would love to read your thoughts on it.
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Awesome Genius
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I used to have that ego preservation strategy with people but it basically came down to this:

Either I improve myself to a point where it's likely people won't reject me or I come to terms with the fact that I won't be the dominant personality within a social group and I'll have to risk being rejected.

I chose the former and to a large extent it worked.


(Original post by Write)
For the past eighteen months I've been trawling nightclubs solo in order to build social skills.

I would make conversation with strangers. Both men and women. Some people would invite me into their groups, introduce me to their friends. I've been in a couple of confrontations and met various kinds of people.

The level of confidence / comfort I've developed with social situations in general is rather high. But I've also mulled many things over in my head and I now have some new-age philosophy and some uncomfortable beliefs under my belt.

Basically, I think I'm better than everyone. I don't like thinking this way because I really have a desire to get on with people properly and make them feel appreciated and wanted. I fear, though, that I've become too stuck-up.

I've received invites to parties, to nights out with groups of people, to the dance-floor with "me and my friend" and so on and so on. I reject many of them. It's pretty much an insta-rejection. I have an ego-preservation strategy that makes me reject a person or group of people so they can't reject me.

This behavior that I have is untenable. Has anyone successfully amended a flaw like this in their personality? I would love to read your thoughts on it.
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(Original post by Adipoptosis)
I used to have that ego preservation strategy with people but it basically came down to this:

Either I improve myself to a point where it's likely people won't reject me or I come to terms with the fact that I won't be the dominant personality within a social group and I'll have to risk being rejected.

I chose the former and to a large extent it worked.
This is to do with self-improvement.

I can't go on like this because **** is starting to go bad for me.
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somemightsay888
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Look where your attitude has got you now. Do you think you're still better than people when they're out having fun while you're wallowing in self pity on a student forum? That alone should be enough to help change your way of thinking.
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(Original post by somemightsay888)
Look where your attitude has got you now. Do you think you're still better than people when they're out having fun while you're wallowing in self pity on a student forum? That alone should be enough to help change your way of thinking.
It has nothing to do with whether or not I'm having fun.

I can be having fun but there is still an underlying feeling that I'm better than people. It's like a feeling that I know things that they don't. Even if it's true, I don't want to create an ego out of it and allow it to ruin potential relationships I could form.
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Black Cat
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#6
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What a surprise......
Spoiler:
Show
:hahaha::lol:
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#7
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(Original post by Black Cat)
What a surprise......
Spoiler:
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:hahaha::lol:
Dude, you shouldn't revel in people's misery and struggle.

If this is restitution for that photograph of yours that I insulted, then I am sorry. You looked hot really. :cool:
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