Relationship Issue!! Watch

xela238
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Basically, I'm currently going out with someone but in September she's going to Asia for 5 months and I'm going to Uni, also I met someone at a party who seems to like me and they se really cool but it's just all so confusing and I don't know what to do, any advice valuable!

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xela238
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Bump


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Andy98
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Which one do you like most?

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xela238
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I'm not sure, but I've definitely been with the first one for much longer and in all honesty I've only met the second girl once, but we have been speaking ever since and there is definetely a connection


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Andy98
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(Original post by xela238)
I'm not sure, but I've definitely been with the first one for much longer and in all honesty I've only met the second girl once, but we have been speaking ever since and there is definetely a connection


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As one of them is going to Asia you could get away with finding more out about girl number 2

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xela238
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Yeah but she's not going until September? And I kind of feel like I'm cheating which I really hate... But we get on really well...


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xela238
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(Original post by Andy98)
Which one do you like most?

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Thanks for your replying by the way


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emmashaw200
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I think you need to sit her down and tell her how you are feeling. Not that you want to break up with her or anything like that, (and don't tell her about the other girl first, she will go mental) simply say we need to talk about whats going to happen in September and have an open conversation with her. Bottling it all up is not going to help the situation, September will come quicker than you think. You coulc conclude that you are both going to be single whilst she is away, and then when she comes back youll see, but tell her you like her and are going to stay with her until she goes away. As for this other girl, think about it, do you want to dump the girl your with for some other girl that may only like you for a couple of weeks, is it worth risking a good relationship for what "could" happen not what you know is going to happen. Consider it... I hope that helps I have been in this dilemma
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xela238
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(Original post by emmashaw200)
I think you need to sit her down and tell her how you are feeling. Not that you want to break up with her or anything like that, (and don't tell her about the other girl first, she will go mental) simply say we need to talk about whats going to happen in September and have an open conversation with her. Bottling it all up is not going to help the situation, September will come quicker than you think. You coulc conclude that you are both going to be single whilst she is away, and then when she comes back youll see, but tell her you like her and are going to stay with her until she goes away. As for this other girl, think about it, do you want to dump the girl your with for some other girl that may only like you for a couple of weeks, is it worth risking a good relationship for what "could" happen not what you know is going to happen. Consider it... I hope that helps I have been in this dilemma
That does actually help a lot! I'm just worried that if I have this conversation with the first girl she's going to jump to conclusions and assume I don't like her and want to break up with her...


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emmashaw200
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(Original post by xela238)
That does actually help a lot! I'm just worried that if I have this conversation with the first girl she's going to jump to conclusions and assume I don't like her and want to break up with her...


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If you explain to her that that's not what your doing, your just thinking about whats best for you both, because she is not going to want to be ina serious relationship with someone for 5 months, when she is so far away. I was with someone over long distance for over 8 months. It was too hard and I ended it because of the distance. Just say the distance may become too much for you both and you don't want her (or you) to feel strained by it or feel that they have n obligation to stay with each other, because of the small detail of distance.

Distance may not seem like a strain but it is, and she will come to realize that when she is away. You could always say to her that you will stay together, but get her to promise that shell tell you if the distance gets too much for her (or for you) and then youlll have another discussion about the relationship. That way your not dumping her, you are merely telling her that you have got her interests at heart and want to make sure that she is happy and not stressed. be together but if the distance is too much then talk about the relationship again.

You don't want her to end it with you after shes been there a while and not give a legit reason, when the reason will be distance. Give her the reassurance, she will respect you for it. I never got that from my boyfriend, he told me he just wanted me and whenever I spoke about the distance he brushed it off and ignored me. Truth is that will be going through her head, "omg we are going to be so far apart", "how are we gonna be together like that" shell be thinking it already hun.

Sorry for long message iv been there so I know. You got any other questions? Just ask !!
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Andy98
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(Original post by xela238)
Yeah but she's not going until September? And I kind of feel like I'm cheating which I really hate... But we get on really well...


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You're only dating one of them you dingbat

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emmashaw200
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(Original post by Andy98)
You're only dating one of them you dingbat

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Im sorry... but you don't seem to be thinking about this very sensitively, your obvs a player who like to sleep with more than one girl at once. He is genuinely confused and doesn't know what to do and iv been there. Just let him think it through. I understand what he means by he feels like hes cheating. I would talk to other boys when I had a bf and the distance made me fell like I was cheating cos I could see them and couldn't see him. I get it
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Andy98
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(Original post by emmashaw200)
Im sorry... but you don't seem to be thinking about this very sensitively, your obvs a player who like to sleep with more than one girl at once. He is genuinely confused and doesn't know what to do and iv been there. Just let him think it through. I understand what he means by he feels like hes cheating. I would talk to other boys when I had a bf and the distance made me fell like I was cheating cos I could see them and couldn't see him. I get it
Hahahaha. Oh were you being serious? The more politically correct term is "lonely nerd with commitment issues", I couldn't get laid in a morgue so I definitely ain't a player. It's just I'm not overly emotional.

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emmashaw200
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(Original post by Andy98)
Hahahaha. Oh were you being serious? The more politically correct term is "lonely nerd with commitment issues", I couldn't get laid in a morgue so I definitely ain't a player. It's just I'm not overly emotional.

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Fair play
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Andy98
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(Original post by emmashaw200)
Fair play
I just have problems understanding emotions, working on it though.

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xela238
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(Original post by emmashaw200)
If you explain to her that that's not what your doing, your just thinking about whats best for you both, because she is not going to want to be ina serious relationship with someone for 5 months, when she is so far away. I was with someone over long distance for over 8 months. It was too hard and I ended it because of the distance. Just say the distance may become too much for you both and you don't want her (or you) to feel strained by it or feel that they have n obligation to stay with each other, because of the small detail of distance.

Distance may not seem like a strain but it is, and she will come to realize that when she is away. You could always say to her that you will stay together, but get her to promise that shell tell you if the distance gets too much for her (or for you) and then youlll have another discussion about the relationship. That way your not dumping her, you are merely telling her that you have got her interests at heart and want to make sure that she is happy and not stressed. be together but if the distance is too much then talk about the relationship again.

You don't want her to end it with you after shes been there a while and not give a legit reason, when the reason will be distance. Give her the reassurance, she will respect you for it. I never got that from my boyfriend, he told me he just wanted me and whenever I spoke about the distance he brushed it off and ignored me. Truth is that will be going through her head, "omg we are going to be so far apart", "how are we gonna be together like that" shell be thinking it already hun.

Sorry for long message iv been there so I know. You got any other questions? Just ask !!
Wow thank you so mucj, this seems like the thing to do


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emmashaw200
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[QUOTE=xela238;57745435]Wow thank you so mucj, this seems like the thing to do


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your welcome
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physicst
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5 months are not too much by the way if you both really like each other
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Andy98
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Just to clarify, talking to people isn't cheating right? I mean if so then every single couple I've seen has been a pair of cheaters. It's only when you start making moves that it becomes cheating

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