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I'm useless as a friend.

Hey guys, I guess I'm one of those people that knows a bit about everything and likes different things, but not passionate enough to know any one topic really in huge amounts of detail. I feel as though I won't be able to be a decent friend, because i'm not passionate about a specific hobby or interest.

What are your thoughts. I am very very shy and find it hard to make friends at all.

Reply 1

wackysparkle

you don't need to have a passion for something to get along with someone

heck - i make friends with people who are just opposites to me! its more fun that way -you learn more about other things and they learn more about what you know - can be something simple as just music! thats how i get along!

but you shouldn't think that you need some overwhelming hobby or interest to get friends - just be you! thats all you need - a little bit of sarcasm or even a great laff and you have friends! :wink:

Reply 2

tanusha-tomsk

Me + wackysparkle are a great example - we don't even know anything real about each other and only ever shared one interest in Bath Uni - yet we're friends aren't we?

I don't think knowing a lot about one thing is most important here, I think willing to learn about things that others are passionate about is the most important quality. People will love talking to you about their hobbies even if you can't share their enthusiasm! :smile:

Reply 3

wackysparkle

course we are tanusha! nice to see you again! :wink:

i mean another example is my soc - the jimmy eat world thread - i have met many people through that and i even talk to some of them on msn - and the thing is we only share that one thing in common yet we are totally different - and we learn more about one another that way -- and ta dah! we're friends!

Reply 4

Rach64

i used to be incredibly shy up until the age of about 15. what helped me was putting myself in situations where i absoloutely had to force myself to talk to people or i'd be totally alone. I changed schools twice in 4 years and that means making a whole new set of friends each time, especially as the first transition was from a bad state school to a very 'posh' private school. By doing that (and u could do it by joining a club or something) it meant i had to make new friends and it's helped me overcome my shyness massively, i'm always learning to be less shy day by day. Getting a job also helped because again, i had to talk to the public, my boss, the other staff etc. When forced, you will come through.
About knowing a little on a lotta subjects, well it's great to be eclectic. my music taste is HUGELY eclectic, but that's actually helped me make so many different friends. I have friends i go partying with who like dance music, i have friends who are all into metal hugely and they like to feel they are educating me more on the topic.
You can be a great friend, you just have to make the effort to go that little bit further when you're shy so people can see the real you

Reply 5

Jonesy_LJ

You don't have to be massively knowledgeable about a topic to be a good friend, in fact I generally find that people who drone on and on constantly about their own little niche interest are the people I least feel like spending time with. Friendship's not really about what you know, I mean a random/interesting fact every so often can be a good conversation starter, but if you look at most conversations that friends have with each other they tend to be about events at school/work or just general rubbish.

With regards to the shyness issue, I think the advice about forcing yourself to be in situations where you have to converse with people is a really good one. It's the same as when people who want to be fitter get a gym buddy so that they're 'forced' to go the gym and work out. Clubs and societies are great for meeting people, as is just talking more to people in general. For example after a lesson you can have a chat about how boring/interesting it was etc etc.