Needy?

Basically, everything was fine between my bf and me until about a week ago. He did really badly in an essay and was shaken by it (he turned to me for support and guidance and I'm happy to support him), he's got money worries, three essays due in this week and has taken on two new jobs, inbetween doing lots of new societies.

I understand that he's stressed and busy. His flatmates are worried about him and I am as well. I just don't know how to help him. He hasn't been texting/ calling me like he usually would and he looks very tired when I see him, so I've just been keeping myself busy, giving him some space. We saw one another on Sunday (I texted him after literally hearing nothing from him for 4 days) and we went to the cinema, then we kissed and cuddled back at his house for 3 hours until late at night and it was lovely- we seem stronger in a way because of the distance and it was just like it normally is.

I miss him and during the silence I feel insecure and need reassurance from him that he still wants to be in a relationship. Yet I know that texting him puts an added strain on him that really isn't fair- if the roles were reversed I would probably need some time and space to deal with all these issues too.

How do I remain a supportive girlfriend yet without getting too needy/ clingy? I just miss spending time with him, the thrill of getting a text off him, seeing him around, him coming up to my flat to see me for ten minutes etc.

He suggested on Sunday night doing some things together during the week, like going to an exhibition he really wanted to see, but it clashed with my schedule (obligatory tutorial) and so I had to say no! I read this as meaning that he does want to spend time with me circumstances are just preventing it, but his continued silence has made me feel insecure again.

I'm worried that this will continue all term- the second job ends after 4 weeks, but I don't want to be in a relationship where we can only see one another once a week! It seems like every night I wait for just a txt or something to say that he's not forgotten me and I get so disappointed when there's nothing. I think he would have been silent all week if I hadn't texted him on Sunday!

At the minute I feel like I'm being unfair on him expecting to give me more while he has to deal with so much- I feel like I'm being too needy and irrational, especially as he warned me a week ago that this would happen and that he would be very stressed. :rolleyes:

Advice?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Yes please, very similar situation, advice wanted here too!
*bump*

Reply 2

=Keith=

Hmmm.. You know guys too need assuarance and love. So it would be nice of you to give more and expect a little at this time. You take the step forward and do things for him. Support him in academics, in other stuff. Make him tell you everythign so he gets lighter. "LISTEN" to him.. trust me that works wonders. Listen to everythign what he has to say. You text him, call him and ask him if he was ok... But i guess ur question is whether u dont want to sound clingy.. In this case.. u would be making him feel better not being clingy. He needs someone and guys I know.. being a guy.. I will never say clearly that i "need" u when im in trouble. Cook for him, give him a lovely time so he forgets his worries for sometime atleast. And im sure ur smart enough to deal with it. Remember ur not being sticky and clingyur jus beign supportive... But yes dont over do it !!
Good luck