Any suggestions?

To cut a long story short, I have been with my wonderful boyfriend for 4 years this coming May. We are both in upper sixth and want to go to university this year.

The problem comes when Im going to stay in the south of the country and he wants to go to Liverpool (we live in south London). He says that we can stay together and it can/will work and I agree, but I know how much of a strain its going to be on me come the time we have to be away from each other. Its not like it would be a couple of hours distance, that I could deal with, but being approx. 7 hours away is harder when I'm used to seeing him almost everyday.

So...
1. Do we just go along as planned, going to our chosen uni's and surviving on seeing each other in the holidays and the occasional weekend for 3 years (4 if he wants to further his degree). Or...
2. Do I do what I have been recently contemplating and change my course and uni to be with him, which in my current state of mind be happy doing. Also what routes would I have to go through in order to do this?

Thanks for any advice!

Reply 1

lollipopsticks

1

dont give up the uni course you want to do because of your boyfriend.i didnt go to uni because i couldnt leave my bf.and i came home from a summer in america 3 months earlybeacause i missed him-we broke up two weeks ago.if ive learnt somethin its to look after your own.u think it might last forever but its your future ur jepordising!

Reply 2

noodles!

14

I definitely think you should move away. If you love each other enough it will work out- that's what I think anyway.

Reply 3

Love Sheep

1

Stay with him, and stay with your course as well.
It is possible to make things work, and you'll be able to test how strong you can be.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks, thats what my train of thought has been but i just really want it to work. I want to be with him but I also my own independence. I have close friends but I'm looking to uni as having a good time and meeting new people who will appreciate me for me (as have had previous friend trouble).

However I also should have added that in general, I'm worried about my course choice. I feel like I'm lowering my standards as I'm predicted AAA in my A levels. Having Southampton Solent and Herts as my top 2 choices as they are a minimal selection of uni's which do the course I was looking to do. I feel like my relationship is a good 'excuse' to change my mind and select a more acedemic subject that I would be just as happy doing.

Reply 5

Vampyrcorn

14

lollipopsticks

dont give up the uni course you want to do because of your boyfriend.i didnt go to uni because i couldnt leave my bf.and i came home from a summer in america 3 months earlybeacause i missed him-we broke up two weeks ago.if ive learnt somethin its to look after your own.u think it might last forever but its your future ur jepordising!

It's never too late to go to uni. (well, almost never). You should apply next year. :smile:

Reply 6

scribble_girl

14

I think it'd be quite difficult now, if you've made your application and have your offer you'd have to wait a year or gamble with clearing (which, with AAA you shouldn't have to do)
Out of interest, what course are you interested in currently & what would you be changing to?
As evveryone has said (and will continue to do so) you shouldn't change your mind and your course and everything just to be with him, because as much as you can say right now there's no reason why it would change between you, naturally you can't predict the future. How does your boyfriend feel about it? Would he be happy having you follow him up there?

You can definitely make it work if the two of you both want this, but University (from what I'm hearing, lol) will develop you two both as induviduals, be that 7 mins walk from each other or 7 hours train journey from each other. Therefore, if it's meant for you two to remain together and compatable, then it'll happen, regardless of distance. :smile:

Reply 7

lollipopsticks

1

vampyrcorn-yea i still have place at leeds but dont wana move away.lost some independance goin out with him :frown:

Reply 8

tetedupet

11

My best friend changed her University to be with her boyfriend, she was going to The University of Edinburgh, but her boyfriend was going to be studying at Anglia Ruskin University (ex-poly in Cambridge ranked like, 99th in the country), so she dropped out of Edinburgh and went to study there. Biggest mistake of her life. Do what YOU want to do, don't be a sheep... who's to say that the relationship will even last, afterall, boys are inherently fickle!

Reply 9

alicejb

wow - I have a very similar situation - we are both in 6th form - though lower 6th and we have been together for 2 years.

We have actually discussed this , even though it is over a year away, and decided that if our love is strong enough for each other, then a long distance relationship will work. We also decided that we are both probably not old enough to decided what true love is, even though we have gone out for 2 years nearly and that as time goes by we will work it out which may or may not result in us staying together - bit weird I know but I guess time will tell...

So I would say go for it - if it works it works...good luck!

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

scribble_girl

I think it'd be quite difficult now, if you've made your application and have your offer you'd have to wait a year or gamble with clearing (which, with AAA you shouldn't have to do)
Out of interest, what course are you interested in currently & what would you be changing to?
As evveryone has said (and will continue to do so) you shouldn't change your mind and your course and everything just to be with him, because as much as you can say right now there's no reason why it would change between you, naturally you can't predict the future. How does your boyfriend feel about it? Would he be happy having you follow him up there?

You can definitely make it work if the two of you both want this, but University (from what I'm hearing, lol) will develop you two both as induviduals, be that 7 mins walk from each other or 7 hours train journey from each other. Therefore, if it's meant for you two to remain together and compatable, then it'll happen, regardless of distance. :smile:

I have applied to do Product Design/Product Design with Marketing. If I were to change it I'd choose to do some kind of Business and Marketing degree.

Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom :smile:

I have discussed it with him and my feelings are just running everywhere at the moment. I may feel completely different about it tomorow who knows? All I know is that I'm worried about the future, too much! I'm trying to think about the here and now but I'm just in a bit of a pickle!

Reply 11

TheShrimp

5

Not to say it will happen, but have you thought what would happen if you applied to Liverpool to be with him, but he doesn't get the grades to get in? Or is his insurance also up north?

Good luck though!

Reply 12

Vampyrcorn

14

lollipopsticks

vampyrcorn-yea i still have place at leeds but dont wana move away.lost some independance goin out with him :frown:

then this is the time to get it back :smile:

i mean obviously it's none of my businness and you weren't asking for advice. but really, it would be a shame for this to hold you back. and i hear leeds is awesome, by the way.

Any suggestions?

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