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Being abandoned...
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We met at uni and most of the time I love him very very much. We have been looking to buy a house together, one day get married. I have a few months till I finish Uni (in 3rd year) and am then taking a year out before I go on o do a postgrad course in the same area. We're looking to get a house in this area.
Anyway, here's the twist. Theres something wrong with him. What exactly, I don't know. He can't cope with life. I think he's very depressed. He gets angry at the world and at me and he hurts himself an breaks things, then cries. Example: Someone he knew from uni has recently moved into the area and has been coming round on Wednesday night. This guy and my 2 other housemates usually get video and pizza and stay in. But my boyfriend today just went mad. He said he "didn't want this" and he didn't like the thought of there being someone out there that he didn't like that could turn up at any time. He went seriously mad about this.
He's seeing a counsellor. Sometimes he's better, sometimes he's worse. He says his counsellor has told him he has issues with missing his parents and he should go home at weekends. So he now goes home every weekend to see his parents (halfway across the country). He wants me to go with him, but I work weekends.
He is now saying he can't cope living here. He says it will be different when we have our own house, but he can't stay here for a few months until we get our own place. He has announced that when he goes home on Friday he is not coming back. He says he will come back up after we have a house and everything will be fine. But he expects me to wait, abandoned here on my own (our flatmates are very much his friends) until he sees fit to join me. Is that fair? Actually rhetorical question. I know its not. I just need reassurance.
Anyway, here's the twist. Theres something wrong with him. What exactly, I don't know. He can't cope with life. I think he's very depressed. He gets angry at the world and at me and he hurts himself an breaks things, then cries. Example: Someone he knew from uni has recently moved into the area and has been coming round on Wednesday night. This guy and my 2 other housemates usually get video and pizza and stay in. But my boyfriend today just went mad. He said he "didn't want this" and he didn't like the thought of there being someone out there that he didn't like that could turn up at any time. He went seriously mad about this.
He's seeing a counsellor. Sometimes he's better, sometimes he's worse. He says his counsellor has told him he has issues with missing his parents and he should go home at weekends. So he now goes home every weekend to see his parents (halfway across the country). He wants me to go with him, but I work weekends.
He is now saying he can't cope living here. He says it will be different when we have our own house, but he can't stay here for a few months until we get our own place. He has announced that when he goes home on Friday he is not coming back. He says he will come back up after we have a house and everything will be fine. But he expects me to wait, abandoned here on my own (our flatmates are very much his friends) until he sees fit to join me. Is that fair? Actually rhetorical question. I know its not. I just need reassurance.
Reply 2
-x-Nina-x-
I cant really offer any advice, but *big hug!*
Lol thankyou deary!
Reply 4
I think if you really love him then you should stick it out. From what you've said then he needs to have some times to get his head together. It doesn't sound like he's fed up with you so I guess if you're prepared to wait it out it should work out.
Hope everything goes ok.
Hope everything goes ok.
Reply 5
Yes I could take a weekend off work and go back with him.
Trouble is to be perfectly honest his parents are kind of intimidating
I'm sure his mum thinks I'm just a golddigger. And his dad is just kinda scary. Very confident if you know what I mean 
I don't think I'd feel comfortable bringing up the situation with them.
They know about his counselling although I'm betting he hasn't told them the extent of his problem.
He is very close to his parents and rather secretive. E.g. when we go to his house if he wants to have a talk with them about something he'll say he's going to get a glass of water or something then go and talk to them alone. I don't think he likes me knowing what they talk about even though we've been together so long.
Gosh I sound so possessive and jealous.
I guess I'm just hurt that he needs them more than me. And I guess I think he should be able to deal with this stuff on his own. I'm very independant and I kind of feel he should be more independant too...
Trouble is to be perfectly honest his parents are kind of intimidating
I'm sure his mum thinks I'm just a golddigger. And his dad is just kinda scary. Very confident if you know what I mean I don't think I'd feel comfortable bringing up the situation with them.They know about his counselling although I'm betting he hasn't told them the extent of his problem.
He is very close to his parents and rather secretive. E.g. when we go to his house if he wants to have a talk with them about something he'll say he's going to get a glass of water or something then go and talk to them alone. I don't think he likes me knowing what they talk about even though we've been together so long.
Gosh I sound so possessive and jealous.
I guess I'm just hurt that he needs them more than me. And I guess I think he should be able to deal with this stuff on his own. I'm very independant and I kind of feel he should be more independant too...Awww I'm sorry! Ok, maybe try letting him go down to his parents & see how you feel after a week/two weeks. If you really can't survive, then you need to tell him about your needs as well. Perhaps he won't want to stay a few months with his parents?
I guess what I'm trying to say is "wait & see/ give him time." I hope it all works out.
I guess what I'm trying to say is "wait & see/ give him time." I hope it all works out.
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