The Student Room Group

Obsessive uni friend

Ok I have a friend who is driving me insane. Are parents are from the same country so we understand each others cultural beliefs. However that's where the similarities end. I tend to be more laid back where as she is very opinionated and provokes arguments becuse of her attitude. We were quite close in the beginning of the year but I feel closer to my other friends and I feel like she is suffocating me.

I can't go anywhere without her bombarding me with questions. She acts like my mum and I can't stand it. We live opposite each other in halls, we are on te same course and she has now involved herself in my friendship group. I don't really go out that much but I will start later in the year. I think if I do start she will look down on me and call me a hypocrite because I didn't see the point of clubbing at first. But I am bored staying in halls. She may love watching dvds and tv 24/7 but it is quite tedious for me. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with it when your bored, but if you don't experience uni life you will regret it.

She really thinks she is the best at everything, she critiiczes my weight just because she is a size 6 and i am a size 12 - 14. She says stuff like "I am too skinny give me some of your flab", or "your not going to that fast food place again are you" , when I go off to the library or the gym. It was funny in the beginning but it's mean spirited now.

She thinks she is smarter then me and thinks she runs the place. I really want to tell her that she can't sing, can't dance and she has a nasty attitude sometimes. But then she switches to miss nicey and I feel guilty for talking about her. But I can't feel sorry anymore. I tried to tell her this but she shouted me down for 45 mins.

I don't wanna look back and think I didn't enjoy my first year because that is my ultimate goal.

I need some advice please :redface: :frown:

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ignore her and get on with your life. Her opinions/attitude will only bother you if you actually care
supernova2
ignore her and get on with your life. Her opinions/attitude will only bother you if you actually care

How can I ignore if I see her 18 hours everyday?
Tell her to **** off.
Reply 4
I had a 'friend' like this at school. If you want to be mature about it, you can sit down and tell her you're not getting along well with her and think you should hang out with different people for a while. This is the difficult option because you don't know how she'll react.

Or you can just do what I did and completely ignore her, but I wouldn't recommend that!
I'd text her saying 'I'm sick of you tagging along with me and my friends and I'm tired of your rude remarks. Please leave me alone.' Then just cut her out entirely. Harsh, but sometimes that's the only way. And I wouldn't be taken in if she comes round trying to make amends, knowing what she's really like.
Reply 6
you could try and phase her pout stop calling her and be quite detached when she talks to you. She will get the message. Or write her a letter
I know gals don't try to be a certain weight to get guys attention but I reckon at a size 6 she must be skinny as a rake yes? If this is the case inform her that guys like curves. Even though her weight's nothing to do with making guys like her hopefully it'll make her feel bad. Fight fire with fire.
Reply 8
beatnik~87
Ok I have a friend who is driving me insane. Are parents are from the same country so we understand each others cultural beliefs. However that's where the similarities end. I tend to be more laid back where as she is very opinionated and provokes arguments becuse of her attitude. We were quite close in the beginning of the year but I feel closer to my other friends and I feel like she is suffocating me.

I can't go anywhere without her bombarding me with questions. She acts like my mum and I can't stand it. We live opposite each other in halls, we are on te same course and she has now involved herself in my friendship group. I don't really go out that much but I will start later in the year. I think if I do start she will look down on me and call me a hypocrite because I didn't see the point of clubbing at first. But I am bored staying in halls. She may love watching dvds and tv 24/7 but it is quite tedious for me. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with it when your bored, but if you don't experience uni life you will regret it.

She really thinks she is the best at everything, she critiiczes my weight just because she is a size 6 and i am a size 12 - 14. She says stuff like "I am too skinny give me some of your flab", or "your not going to that fast food place again are you" , when I go off to the library or the gym. It was funny in the beginning but it's mean spirited now.

She thinks she is smarter then me and thinks she runs the place. I really want to tell her that she can't sing, can't dance and she has a nasty attitude sometimes. But then she switches to miss nicey and I feel guilty for talking about her. But I can't feel sorry anymore. I tried to tell her this but she shouted me down for 45 mins.

I don't wanna look back and think I didn't enjoy my first year because that is my ultimate goal.

I need some advice please :redface: :frown:

I've known someone very similar for quite a while now. I find the key to it is that you don't have to criticise her in order not to take her 'advice.' Laugh off any accusations of hypocrisy, laugh off anything else she says that you don't particularly want to deal with. She has no mandate to run your life and, not only do you not have to let her, you don't even have to justify not letting her. Sorry if this is a bit incoherent. Hopefully it's of some help. :smile:
I don't know how you haven't head-butted her already.
Reply 10
tell her to ****off. I was in a similiar situation - not as bad though. i cant really go into it, because they may be on here and i dotn want to hurt their feelings. Anyway the difference is that they are being nasty and saying hurtful things to you. They may be annoying and obsessive, but theres no point being friends with someone who makes fun of you. Drop the dead weight.. enjoy yor uni life!
push her down the stairs
id attempt talking to her about it first, then if she doesnt change cutting her out is the only option.

some people seem to love this whole "mothering" thing, and can't see how their actions become annoying.

so id say you should tell her how you feel, and hopefully she'll cut back on her madness.
I have a 'friend' like this. Just give them a dissaproving look everytime they say something rude. Too bad you have to live with this insecure freak.
One thing I am afraid off is her turning everyone against me. I moved in a couple of days later and although I have bonded well with them I feel like she has the control to just turn them against me.

During the day is awesome cause I am with my mates it's at night when I feel I have to stay in my room to avoid her.
Reply 15
maybe you could talk to your mates about it. To be honest im sure it wouldnt get that bad
beatnik~87
One thing I am afraid off is her turning everyone against me. I moved in a couple of days later and although I have bonded well with them I feel like she has the control to just turn them against me.

During the day is awesome cause I am with my mates it's at night when I feel I have to stay in my room to avoid her.


maybe you should test the water a bit, like go "she goes on and on a bit doesnt she" to another flatmate when your 'freind' has left the room, and see how they react.

if they gossip a bit about her back, you know you have a chance to nicely talk to them about her.

otherwise you'd realise they're on her 'side' and its probably best not having a big chat about her.
If I were in your position, I think that i'd get another group of friends and start hanging around with them too. You don't have to ignore her 100% but when she says irritating things, make eye contact with her and hold it and then dont laugh or smile or shrug it off. Then say "is that supposed to be funny?" or walk away- make it clear that you're not taking her stuck up attitude and annoying behaviour. Slowly, if not quickly, she'll start to feel in less control and stupid. Just because she thinks it is acceptable that doesn't mean it is. And by the way, if one of my mates said "give me some of your flab" I'd prob get vexed after her saying it loads and say "really, do you want it that bad? I think you look better the way you are- like one of the starving kids in a 3rd world country"ggrrrrr.
Reply 18
The comment about size 6 girls matt@internet, has just really hacked me off, don't want to hi jack this thread but I'm a 10 at the moment but a size 6 in summer. When I'm a 6 I have the measurements 33-24-34. Hardly non curvaceous or rake like.

There are size 12/14 girls out there without curves. It's just flab.

Curves are about waist-hip ratio and breast tissue not flab.

As for this friend just tell her to take a hike and stop being a mouse about it.
Reply 19
So why hi-jack it :rolleyes: