What on earth is my ex playing at?

Anon for obvious reasons, I'll try to keep this short.

I was with my ex for 4 years (I'm a girl), and during this time, he slept with at least 3 other girls behind my back. It was pretty abusive at times and he was extremely petty when it came to me being friends with other guys. He was very insecure and paranoid, despite putting on a show of pseudo confidence around others. He is/was a DJ at a local nightclub and as far as I could see, a fairly popular guy. In fact he appeared to be more of an over-egotistic a*shole when he'd had a drink.

Towards the end of our relationship I got friendly with a really sweet guy from work, and I was so sick and tired with the atmosphere at home that I'd meet up with said guy behind my boyfriend's back and we'd go to the cinema and things.. It was almost like the only friend I was allowed to have was one the boyfriend didn't know about. Wrong I know, I shouldn't have lied.

Anyway. Fast forward a year and a half. I'm In my second year at uni. I left the boyfriend just before starting uni (or rather my dad moved me out of his house) after he'd bent one of my fingers back so far he broke it.

I stopped most of the contact with the "friend" too, I just wanted to start all over again.

Ex boyfriend sends me one hell of an abusive email - He'd found old msn conversations I'd had with the "friend" on his pc and calls me all the four lettered words you can imagine. I try not to take it to heart, but fail miserably.

Six months later (Now in my third year), I'm told by people back home I never really knew that the ex is still telling tales about me to everyone and anyone who will listen. He's told everyone I used to know that I was cheating on him, i had tried it on with his most of friends and that I'd had a threesome with him and some other guy (We absolutely never did).. He's been telling people that I'm a lesbian now and on drugs ect ect. (For the record, absolutely not true, I've been with my lovely boyfriend for 2 years almost). He's even been dedicating nasty songs to me at the club and making remarks about me between songs :confused:

I feel totally humiliated and I'm furious.

But should I be?

How is it that 2 and a half years later he's still going out of his way to make me look foolish to everybody I used to know? My sister even got wind of some of these ridiculous accusations which makes it even more hurtful.

I retaliated by sending him a very lengthy and strongly worded email. Was I wrong to do this? I just want it to stop. :frown:

Reply 1

Vohamanah

You've made a good job of getting a fresh start at uni. Don't let this immature guy upset you. Let him say what he wants. He's only bitter. Have a sense of humour about it and if someone asks you about it laugh it off. "Damn, I thought I'd finally got rid of those rumours!" :smile:

You know that it was he who cheated on you. Keep smiling and try and forget it. Don't give him the attention he so much craves from you. I'm sure it will all blow over in time when he realises how ridiculous he sounds.

Reply 2

Cez

At the end of the day mate you've managed to get away from a guy who treated you badly and now have a much nicer boyfriend, which is all good stuff. The main point in your post is that you're worried about your ex-boyfriend and the people you 'used to know' - these are obviously people who aren't important in your life anymore otherwise they would know that they're all lies. So try your best to forget about all the crap that's happening with people from your past and concentrate on the mates and boyfriend you have now, people who ARE important :-)

Reply 3

HeadShock

Sounds like he is a total idiot, a wise move removing him from your life...just ignore the rumours....they only have power if you react.

Reply 4

Melissa Twinga

i had a clingy guy like that once, he never let me have my own life, don't contact him, problem solved.

Reply 5

matt@internet

How is it that 2 and a half years later he's still going out of his way to make you look foolish to everybody you used to know?
Because he's a prick that's how.
And yes you were right to send him an angry e-mail. You'll just have to stand tall and if anyone you used to know asks you about any of this tell them the truth. But don't bad mouth him or people may not believe you.