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Covering Self Harm Scars

I'll get straight to the point; I have a large number of very noticeable scars on my arms as a result of self harm. I've more or less recovered to the point where I no longer feel the need to cut myself, however the marks I made are an ugly reminder of what happened and I'm also conscientious that seeing them might be triggering/generally uncomfortable for others. For the past few years I've spent the whole time wearing long sleeves but I don't want to do that any more, especially in summer. I'll hopefully be starting university in September too, and my course will require me to have short sleeves for a lot of practicals. My scars are actually a lot less visible lately due to me tanning a bit, but if anyone has any advice on what I could to to further reduce the problem, then that would be gratefully received. Thanks in advance :smile:

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Have you considered a tattoo? Something that's meaningful to you, that will both keep up your progress of not self-harming as well as detract from the physical scars..?
Reply 2
Hey I know it sounds like you're looking to cover them up but...

From personal experience people actually don't react too badly to seeing scars on arms at all. I have around 15 noticeable keloid (raised) scars on my left forearm and around 10 more flat smaller less noticeable ones. For about a year after I pretty much covered up all the time but then decided I just wouldn't bother anymore (I do a lot of dance and gymnastics and layering up was just becoming a pain).

It's been almost 2 years since I stopped covering up and really in my experience people don't say anything. The only time people have mentioned it is when they've sort of half seen the marks and been like "oh what's happened to your arm" and then once they fully see/realise what it is or I say "ah just old scars" they kind of awkwardly just say "oh right" and then it's over. Just goes back to normal chat.


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I've heard good things about bio-oil being good for scars (though it is expensive). I also have a lot of scars and used a mixture of vitamin E moisturizer and a gel called dermatix on them and this has really helped - though it does take time to see results. Tbh, from research articles I've read on this, it isn't so much what you put on the scars that helps, so much as the actual process of massaging the skin to put something on.

Depending on results you could try laser treatment or a process where they stretch nearby skin over the scars leaving just one but both of these are pretty expensive. I'd probably give the creams a go first.


I'd also add to back up the person above, most people either don't notice scars or do notice and are too polite to point them out. My wife's little sister (she's 10) saw mine a few years ago so I just told her that's why you have to be careful of tigers at the zoo. But most adults really do not want that discussion.
My advice is to wear short sleeves from day 1, people are much less likely to ask if they don't know you. There's nothing worse than knowing someone for months then suddenly wearing short sleeves because they'll ask much more personal questions. I made sure I wore short sleeves in the first week and no one said a word :smile: be confident and act as if they aren't there and you'll be fine!
I've been using bio oil for a while (months) but it's had little to no effect for me personally - I know other people have had success with it, though. If I really need to cover mine up I tend to use concealer, which fades them to the point that people don't notice them enough to ask questions.
As a self harmer myself, i use light pink lipstick over each cut or scar and lightly rub it in, then use a foundation that matches my skin tone and apply that ontop with a foundation brush, then use matte powder which is the slightest bit darker than my skin. they are still visable but a lot lot less noticable.
Hope this helps and well done for staying so strong, people like you are an inspiration to me :-)
Don't think of it as problem. Everyone has rough patches.

You don't have to cover them because nobody will care or ask. Thanks to being in England everyone is too polite to ask and not aware enough to notice.
The only people who do notice from my experience are those who have gone through it themselves.

I wouldn't worry about.

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I would agree with others, you basically have two choices A. cover them up for the rest of your life, your practical tutor may well allow you to wear long sleeves if you explain (or just roll them up last minute and keep your arms turned away) or B. accept you don't want to cover up for the next 60 years and just wear short sleeves and be prepared if anyone questions it, something like 'they're old' usually does the trick

I wear long sleeves most of the time at work as I work with vulnerable teens and I don't think it's fair on them or something I want to deal with... but I wear short sleeves on work do's, in the staff room, after hours etc... in two years I've had one double take and one person asked what happened then frantically apologised afterwards as they didn't see them properly and hadn't realised
I tried bio oil and it does nothing for me, a waste of money. Cocoa butter faded my scars far easier and quicker. I can't see your scars so I can only guess, but they might be more obvious to you than anyone else.
Reply 10
Original post by LSD
Hey I know it sounds like you're looking to cover them up but...

From personal experience people actually don't react too badly to seeing scars on arms at all. I have around 15 noticeable keloid (raised) scars on my left forearm and around 10 more flat smaller less noticeable ones. For about a year after I pretty much covered up all the time but then decided I just wouldn't bother anymore (I do a lot of dance and gymnastics and layering up was just becoming a pain).

It's been almost 2 years since I stopped covering up and really in my experience people don't say anything. The only time people have mentioned it is when they've sort of half seen the marks and been like "oh what's happened to your arm" and then once they fully see/realise what it is or I say "ah just old scars" they kind of awkwardly just say "oh right" and then it's over. Just goes back to normal chat.


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Original post by Hevachan
My advice is to wear short sleeves from day 1, people are much less likely to ask if they don't know you. There's nothing worse than knowing someone for months then suddenly wearing short sleeves because they'll ask much more personal questions. I made sure I wore short sleeves in the first week and no one said a word :smile: be confident and act as if they aren't there and you'll be fine!


Original post by doodle_333
I would agree with others, you basically have two choices A. cover them up for the rest of your life, your practical tutor may well allow you to wear long sleeves if you explain (or just roll them up last minute and keep your arms turned away) or B. accept you don't want to cover up for the next 60 years and just wear short sleeves and be prepared if anyone questions it, something like 'they're old' usually does the trick

I wear long sleeves most of the time at work as I work with vulnerable teens and I don't think it's fair on them or something I want to deal with... but I wear short sleeves on work do's, in the staff room, after hours etc... in two years I've had one double take and one person asked what happened then frantically apologised afterwards as they didn't see them properly and hadn't realised


These are all really good posts. I'm in basically in the same situation as in the OP, not quite as 'recovered' as they sound though, I do still get times I want to cut but I am trying not to.

But I am also starting university next month, and I don't know if we must wear short sleeves for my practicals (I generally say I don't want sunburn and it works) but that's probably my course not most.

But, reading through this and things like do I want to have to wear long sleeves forever? or do I just wear short and see what happens, Also it's really nice to hear that many people don't ask. But saying to wear short sleeves from the start is best is hard for me, I have enough differences for example my speech, that I have some kind of 'toy' to fidget with to help me concentrate, I wear a gilet with a lego keyring on, I need orange glasses or colored paper, oh and I basically always have some kind of assistant with me. Do I really need to be known as all of this plus the 'one who self harms too' This is really making me think.
Original post by dipka
These are all really good posts. I'm in basically in the same situation as in the OP, not quite as 'recovered' as they sound though, I do still get times I want to cut but I am trying not to.

But I am also starting university next month, and I don't know if we must wear short sleeves for my practicals (I generally say I don't want sunburn and it works) but that's probably my course not most.

But, reading through this and things like do I want to have to wear long sleeves forever? or do I just wear short and see what happens, Also it's really nice to hear that many people don't ask. But saying to wear short sleeves from the start is best is hard for me, I have enough differences for example my speech, that I have some kind of 'toy' to fidget with to help me concentrate, I wear a gilet with a lego keyring on, I need orange glasses or colored paper, oh and I basically always have some kind of assistant with me. Do I really need to be known as all of this plus the 'one who self harms too' This is really making me think.


Hmm I can definitely understand the dilemma. I think people at university react a lot differently than at school. You have different friendship groups e.g who you live with, who you have lectures with etc.. because of this people are a lot less judgemental as they don't have such a gang mentality. I think that you may feel self conscious but it's a real confidence boost when you show the world yourself completely and people accept you :smile:. Perhaps in Freshers week attend a social event with short sleeves, the chances are you won't see most people there again so its a good opportunity to see how everyone reacts (which will probably be an anti climax.. in a good way! )
Reply 12
Original post by Hevachan
Hmm I can definitely understand the dilemma. I think people at university react a lot differently than at school. You have different friendship groups e.g who you live with, who you have lectures with etc.. because of this people are a lot less judgemental as they don't have such a gang mentality. I think that you may feel self conscious but it's a real confidence boost when you show the world yourself completely and people accept you :smile:. Perhaps in Freshers week attend a social event with short sleeves, the chances are you won't see most people there again so its a good opportunity to see how everyone reacts (which will probably be an anti climax.. in a good way! )


If only..
But a more hidden part of the differences I explained earlier is that it's a disability that affects many things, one of them being understanding people-like talking to them, understanding body language or social ques etc.. I am not planning to attend any event in freshers week, they are all some different themed party in a different local pub, or lots of people, lots of noise and this disability makes that a impossible place for me to go.
I'm not even planning to have friends, simple reason: I do not want any. I have said that all my life I don't plan on changing now, yes I had many times school seemed to want to force me to have a friend, made it worse. I'm happy to be myself why is their a rule to need friends?
To me there is a difference between a friend or friends as people you choose to spend time with when enjoying the same thing and just being nice to others-as in not bullying them and being plesent such as saying 'hello' or 'how are you' if you pass someone in your class. The second one is all i want, and would be nice! Who said anything about anyone needing to be my friend?
Original post by dipka
If only..
But a more hidden part of the differences I explained earlier is that it's a disability that affects many things, one of them being understanding people-like talking to them, understanding body language or social ques etc.. I am not planning to attend any event in freshers week, they are all some different themed party in a different local pub, or lots of people, lots of noise and this disability makes that a impossible place for me to go.
I'm not even planning to have friends, simple reason: I do not want any. I have said that all my life I don't plan on changing now, yes I had many times school seemed to want to force me to have a friend, made it worse. I'm happy to be myself why is their a rule to need friends?
To me there is a difference between a friend or friends as people you choose to spend time with when enjoying the same thing and just being nice to others-as in not bullying them and being plesent such as saying 'hello' or 'how are you' if you pass someone in your class. The second one is all i want, and would be nice! Who said anything about anyone needing to be my friend?


Oh okay I'm sorry I didn't realise :smile: well in that case I think you'll have no problems wearing short sleeves as non-friends will not ask as that would be intrusive :smile:
Reply 14
Original post by Hevachan
Oh okay I'm sorry I didn't realise :smile: well in that case I think you'll have no problems wearing short sleeves as non-friends will not ask as that would be intrusive :smile:


Thank's. Thats obviously one of those 'hidden' rules I just don't understand.

Is their any situations when I should not wear short sleves? for example If I am teaching/leading under 18's? I voulenteer with cadets, and hopefully my job after uni will be a outdoor activities instructor.
Or If I am at my youth clubs, all of them are for people with disabilities when I am 1 person in the group?
Or any other situation!?
Original post by dipka
Thank's. Thats obviously one of those 'hidden' rules I just don't understand.

Is their any situations when I should not wear short sleves? for example If I am teaching/leading under 18's? I voulenteer with cadets, and hopefully my job after uni will be a outdoor activities instructor.
Or If I am at my youth clubs, all of them are for people with disabilities when I am 1 person in the group?
Or any other situation!?


Well that's something I've never been sure about, I work with children too but always keep covered because I'm not sure. Perhaps ask your cadet leader? :smile: I think the only situation where it becomes complicated is in employment as people may be prejudice. In your youth club you should be able to wear whatever you want :smile:. I can't think of any other situation where it might be an issue other than employment! Id be interested to know what other people do at work..
Reply 16
Original post by Hevachan
Well that's something I've never been sure about, I work with children too but always keep covered because I'm not sure. Perhaps ask your cadet leader? :smile: I think the only situation where it becomes complicated is in employment as people may be prejudice. In your youth club you should be able to wear whatever you want :smile:. I can't think of any other situation where it might be an issue other than employment! Id be interested to know what other people do at work..


So would I.

For cadets and the 1 job interview I say its from eczema (SOME of the scars are eczema, as is the rash, so not a complete lie) and if they need more detail I explqin how I was bulied as being contagious so I learnt its easiest to hide it.
Cadets dont even know, above is what I said when I was a cadet, to be allowed to not rool my sleves up and its not changed. I just could not be bothered to go through the nightmare you always get when you tell someone all asking about support, saying be safe etc when school or college that I went to much more often knew and were helping. Dont really see why I should tell them now, but then I cant ask.

The yout club is the same really, dont want all that you get when someone new finds out so I just wear long sleves at all of them to save any hassle, which is also likely to trigger me to want to do it, and I am trying not to.

I kind of need to work out what is the best place to wear short sleves first, start at 1 then increas if it goes okay. But no idea how to decide.


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Original post by dipka
So would I.

For cadets and the 1 job interview I say its from eczema (SOME of the scars are eczema, as is the rash, so not a complete lie) and if they need more detail I explqin how I was bulied as being contagious so I learnt its easiest to hide it.
Cadets dont even know, above is what I said when I was a cadet, to be allowed to not rool my sleves up and its not changed. I just could not be bothered to go through the nightmare you always get when you tell someone all asking about support, saying be safe etc when school or college that I went to much more often knew and were helping. Dont really see why I should tell them now, but then I cant ask.

The yout club is the same really, dont want all that you get when someone new finds out so I just wear long sleves at all of them to save any hassle, which is also likely to trigger me to want to do it, and I am trying not to.

I kind of need to work out what is the best place to wear short sleves first, start at 1 then increas if it goes okay. But no idea how to decide.


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Oh yeah good excuse :smile:!
Well I think you'll have to take it one thing at a time. Maybe just have your sleeves short for 10 minutes to test the waters :smile: if people ask you can always say 'thank you for your concern but I don't want to talk about it at the moment' :smile:
Blunt real answer here. You can't. Don't bother, no one has ever actually asked me about it.
Original post by dipka
These are all really good posts. I'm in basically in the same situation as in the OP, not quite as 'recovered' as they sound though, I do still get times I want to cut but I am trying not to.

But I am also starting university next month, and I don't know if we must wear short sleeves for my practicals (I generally say I don't want sunburn and it works) but that's probably my course not most.

But, reading through this and things like do I want to have to wear long sleeves forever? or do I just wear short and see what happens, Also it's really nice to hear that many people don't ask. But saying to wear short sleeves from the start is best is hard for me, I have enough differences for example my speech, that I have some kind of 'toy' to fidget with to help me concentrate, I wear a gilet with a lego keyring on, I need orange glasses or colored paper, oh and I basically always have some kind of assistant with me. Do I really need to be known as all of this plus the 'one who self harms too' This is really making me think.


or you can look at it that you are already different, people have made what judgements they've made, self harm is unlikely to make a significant difference to their view of you

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