Life falling apart

Not sure why I'm posting, I guess I have nowhere else and noone else to talk to. I'm at a complete loss as to what to do to get myself out of this state. My 'friends' hate me and it seems that we're becoming more distant every day. I'm not sure who started it, all I know is it's spiralled out of control. Starting a relationship at the beginning of uni has brought out all my insecurities and generally done me more harm than good. A rumour is going around that my boyfriend cheated on me... he denies it, and I said I believe him but the truth is, I wouldn't be surprised if he did. I've always thought I'm just his She'll-Do-For-Now girlfriend. I've completely cut off ties with my family and and friends outside of uni. Uni was meant to be my fresh start, but it's gone terribly wrong. I just want to get away from everyone and everything, but don't know how. :frown:

Reply 1

LPK

20

The important thing is you keep on at university. Things do go wrong occasionally, but the only thing you can do is either worry about it, or think about how to move on. :smile:

As for your boyfriend, if you cannot trust him then it sounds like your relationship is doomed. If he is not making you happy then he is clearly not the right person for you. I'd suggest dumping him, getting your life back on track, then see what happens from there. :smile:

Reply 2

Rainbow_Chick

1

Have you thought about visiting the uni counsellor to talk about your problems. You said u have completely cut off ties with family & friends but im sure they would like a phone call. You could maybe visit them 4 a weekend to clear your head.

Reply 3

bronsonbear

1

LipGloss

My 'friends' hate me and it seems that we're becoming more distant every day.

When you're in a situation like this, the best thing to do is to try and make new friends. trying to keep the ones you have is tempting for security reaosns, but its just going to make your self esteem plummet and waste time. Unfortunately there are nasty people out there; the good news is that there are nice ones. Find them, be honest with them, find something in commen, invite them places and take it from there. You're gonna need courage, but it's worth it!

LipGloss

I'm not sure who started it, all I know is it's spiralled out of control.

Hmm, sounds like there's a lot more to it then.

LipGloss

Starting a relationship at the beginning of uni has brought out all my insecurities and generally done me more harm than good. A rumour is going around that my boyfriend cheated on me... he denies it, and I said I believe him but the truth is, I wouldn't be surprised if he did. I've always thought I'm just his She'll-Do-For-Now girlfriend.

Do your group of friends make you feel like that/bring out or insecurities, or is it your boyfrined? was it your groups of friends that started/speas the rumours, or was it someone else? thats a very important question, because if it's your friends, dump the friends, if its you boyfriends, dump both becasue to be honest the 'friends' don't sound like a lot of good to me.

LipGloss

I've completely cut off ties with my family and and friends outside of uni.

Who/what made you do that? families sometimes suck but they genuinely care about you, and can be the best place to go for advice/a shoulder to cry on.

LipGloss

Uni was meant to be my fresh start, but it's gone terribly wrong. I just want to get away from everyone and everything, but don't know how. :frown:

Honey, i really feel for you! it sounds as if this is your worst nightmare, but there's no reason it shouldn't get better.

Make sure your main goal isn't to have lots of frinds/be part of a big group, but to have one or too realy good close frinds who'll stick by you and be honest with you. be that to other poeple too.

the 'talk to a uni councellor' advice is good; thats exactly what they are there for. take their advice to the letter, it comes from a lot of experience.

Reply 4

LipGloss

OP

Thanks for your replies, everyone, it's nice to know someone somewhere out there knows how I'm feeling and cares. :smile:

To answer your questions, all my 'good' friends are a group of girls at uni, and now they've all ganged up against me... some more than others. I think it has something to do with the fact that I'm devoting more time to my boyfriend and my coursework than to them. I'm not a shy person, but I'm not good at making friends. It's like I've built a wall around me to keep people at a distance.

My boyfriend is actually an amazing guy, he treats me very well. I can talk to him about things I wouldn't tell anyone else... I feel I've become too dependant on him to make everything okay. I keep wondering why he's even with me... I guess I'm too insecure to believe I'm not his temporary plaything. As for the cheating rumour, he was the first to mention it. My friends haven't mentioned it, I doubt they've even heard the rumour.

I was very unhappy with my family, and was never close to them or my friends outside uni. Even talking to them on the phone reminds me of a part of my life I've tried to erase. However I like the idea of talking to a councillor. I'll do that, thanks everyone.

Reply 5

bronsonbear

1

good luck, keep us posted! :smile:

Life falling apart

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