The Student Room Group

been single for a while-cannot find anyone-advice needed

Hi,
I just need some advice. I'Ve been single for a while now and i cannot seem to find a boyfriend. I'm studying at college and everyone seems to be having happy and successful relationships and i'm just, well, single.

Its not that there is anything wrong with me. I mean i'm not ugly or horrible anything like that-its just that no one wants me. I mean there are a few guys that talk and flirt with me, but nothing seems to happen.

I'm starting uni in september and would really like to find someone- i do not want to be single for 3 years!!!!!

has anyone got any advice into how to find someone, who isn't a freak?
Reply 1
I would say that when you get to uni, join some societies. That way you will meet like minded people. Maybe boys at your college presume you are out of their league, hence why they do not ask you out. They may be afraid of denting their pride if you say no. In university people seem a lot more confident and are far more likely to take a possitive step in getting you to go out with them. Or do you specifically want someone in your college now? You could always ask them out, since women are empowered these days, although if they say no it may be embarrassing since news travels fast in college. Just play it cool for now- if you appear desperate you may get dates, but chances are they are only after one thing.

You are not alone in this situation. I was single for most of high school and sixth form, until I found myself a boyfriend elsewhere. Oh that's a point- look outside your college. Join a club or go out and you may meet some interesting people.

Hope is not lost. SOmeone will come along, I'm sure. A year from now you will be posting a topic like "so many boys so little time" or "i have 6 boys asking me out and I don't know which one to choose"!!! Just wait and see :biggrin:
Samething that I say to everyone that posts about this problem.

In your post you mentioned You cannot seem to 'find' a bf. The trouble is you don't go looking for them, it will one day just hit you when you least expect it. If you act yourself, be yourself all the time, be polite/nice to everyone girl or boy, tall or short, fat or thin, good looking or not so good looking. Then one day that right person will find you.

EDIT: and what helen said, is pretty much what you should do too.
Reply 3
Thanks for all the advice!!!
Reply 4
I don't understand girls who can't be without a boyfriend. So what if you're single for three years? I was, practically. I'd rather be single than have a boyfriend for the sake of it. I still had a great time with friends and I'm really glad I didn't get into a relationship in first year because it would have tied me down. I don't think I would have studied abroad, etc, if I'd had a boyfriend. Think about that kind of thing. Anyway, it's silly to go looking for a boyfriend - it sounds cliche but the right person will come along if you relax about it. I met my boyfriend at a society meeting at the start of my 4th year, and we became friends first of all.
Reply 5
its not that I cannot live without someone, its just taht i would be nice to feel loved and secure. Maybe i should get a dog- they're much less hassel:biggrin:
Reply 6
:ditto: IzzyWizzy

I've been single for almost 5 years. I actually am the founder of the I'm Wonderful and I'm Single society :cool:
Of course, sometimes, I get fed up about it. I wish there was someone out there who'd care for me, I wish I were involved in a relationship. But well, I'm not, and I'm not gonna go out and find a boyfriend for the sake of it. I'd rather be alone than with some tosser who doesn't give a **** about me.
And it's given me the opportunity to do loads of things. Two years ago, I decided to study abroad, and now I'm planning on settling down in the UK for good - and not on account of a boyfriend, but because I love my life here. This morning I found out there were cheap flights to London in April... I just booked a week end to London in 5 minutes.
And most of all, I learn to live on my own, to do things on my own. Because you never know, you might be on your own later on in your life, and if you know how to get along by yourself, well, it's easier. My grand father passed away 3 years ago, and my gran had NEVER done anything without him, not even going to the dentist. So now she's completely lost, and she's telling me to learn how to live in my own, so that I won't be so utterly desperate if that kind of situation ever happens to me.
Honestly. Being in a relationship is a good thing, of course, I'm not denying it at all. But being on your own is as good a thing.
Be independent. That's one of the few things I like about myself :p:
Reply 7
its not that I cannot live without someone, its just taht i would be nice to feel loved and secure. Maybe i should get a dog- they're much less hassel


Yeah but you should be able to feel secure on your own, not rely on someone else to make you feel that way. I know it's really nice to have a boyfriend, but what if he breaks up with you or something and then you feel totally isolated and alone? I know it's easier said than done but I think getting to like your own company is really important.
Reply 8
IzzyWizzy
Yeah but you should be able to feel secure on your own, not rely on someone else to make you feel that way. I know it's really nice to have a boyfriend, but what if he breaks up with you or something and then you feel totally isolated and alone? I know it's easier said than done but I think getting to like your own company is really important.


Yup. My point. Exactly.
I'm none of the above, and been single forever. Get over yourself. :mad:
Be careful that you dont just go with somebody for the sake of it, it is far too attractive a proposition for many when they first get to university. I know being single can be hard, and lonely but try and wait for somebody genuine and somebody you can actually connect with.
hotchilli
Hi,
I just need some advice. I'Ve been single for a while now and i cannot seem to find a boyfriend. I'm studying at college and everyone seems to be having happy and successful relationships and i'm just, well, single.

Its not that there is anything wrong with me. I mean i'm not ugly or horrible anything like that-its just that no one wants me. I mean there are a few guys that talk and flirt with me, but nothing seems to happen.

I'm starting uni in september and would really like to find someone- i do not want to be single for 3 years!!!!!

has anyone got any advice into how to find someone, who isn't a freak?
Don't be angry.. you have a great cricket team :smile:
theonehitwonder
I'm none of the above, and been single forever. Get over yourself. :mad:
Reply 12
i agree, its not a good idea 2 go out with some1 just because you fell 'left out'. i appreciate that it's hard being single when u feel ready 2 get into a relationship - i am in the same position. however, 4 whatever reason, some ppl seem 2 take much longer @ meeting their 'better half' than others. u r 1 of them...its no big deal. enjoy having platonic relationships with guys.