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What attracts you to someone?

What is it that attracts you to people you fancy or your partner?

I think I fancy one of my mates. I love his personality soooo much. And he has a pretty good body. But I don't fancy his face.
Do I need to find him properly attractive for a relationship between us to work?

Thoughts appreciated! :biggrin:

Reply 1

Milli

11

Sense of humour/intelligence/behaviour comes first... then his appearance.

Why would you need to find him attractive for a relationship to work? You like his personality, right? Don't you think that's enough?

Reply 2

Misogynist

18

I'll tell you what, really good looking people with good personalities are a few and far between. You can only have a bit of both usually so I'd say go for it. Just focus on the part you like.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Milli

Sense of humour comes first... then his appearance.

Why would you need to find him attractive for a relationship to work? You like his personality, right? Don't you think that's enough?

I'm scared because if we went out it'd make us or break us. I couldn't lose him. That's why I'm being so critical of my thoughts.

Reply 4

aati_x

personality all the way!
although at first glance-i tend to focus on their eyes and ass.... =P

Reply 5

Montrose

17

Dude, if you like someone and feel attracted to them, go for it. If you enjoy your time together, I would say that is what matters most.

Reply 6

loz_fairy

8

surely it's not a question of whether he is attractive per se, its whether you are attracted to him, there is a difference.

Also the key to a relationship is whether you are mentally compatible; it's hard to spend a great deal of time with someone and tell them all about yourself if you get on enough (if that makes sense)

for example, my b/f doesn't have the greatest bod, but it doesn't matter to me because he has such a great personality (and he's good at certain things :P), so I don't see there as being a better match for me out there.

Reply 7

3210

the first thing what attracts me to a female is what they are wareing

Reply 8

asanonymous

being highly, and oppostiely, charged

Reply 9

Gars de baccalaureats

the first thing that attracts me to a person is if they look like shilpa

Reply 10

Lolly-88

13

I'm attracted to men with power and confidence....but not arrogance.

Reply 11

Pink_Crayon_Eater

Sense of humour and a twinkle in the eye does it every time.
Overall asthetics don't matter when up against that.

Reply 12

*Tears and Butterflies*

2

I know this guy who is actually perfect - i can talk to him well (and lots of girls i know can't, he has a gorgeous face, gorgeous body, he is shy yet confident at the same time, he has a gorgeous accent so he is basically perfect in every way. I did however get to know his personality first and even if he ddin't have a gorgeous face and body I would still like him. :smile:

(He's too good for me anyway :redface:

)

I definately put personality first 100% of the time if i love someones pesonality their beauty shines through anyway so to me personality is the deciding factor. for me you can be good looking to others but if i think that you are are horrible person they would appear more ugly to me if that makes sense and if they had a particularly uninteresting personality they would just appear plain. thats why beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I don't know if you'll get me but i know what i'm trying to say :smile:

Reply 13

The Thinker

I agree, personality is the key, If you really like/love someone then they become beautiful to you.

Personally the thing that first attract me to a girl is art. If she is an actress/musician/artist. I especially love it when they can sing :smile:

Reply 14

Trexx

Appearance attracts me, but personality is key and maybe interests too.

Reply 15

kad

for me, & i would've thought 4 most ppl looks r what draw yr attention to some1. once you've focussed on them, u get talking & i think this is where it's make or break. i really dnt think i could go out with some1 who looked great but i just didn't 'click' with. so in that sense personality is very important. i think i could probably fall for some1 who was average looking, but was great to talk to, understanding, kind & funny. what abt u lot? could u go out with some1 who wasn't that good looking but was really friendly & kind?

Reply 16

Nix!

11

Appearance, mannerisms and aura is generally what grasps your attention. Personality is what will 'seal the deal'.

Reply 17

Evil-Tuna

2

Anti-American sentiment. Sells itself really.

Reply 18

supersteiger

Obviously you can't (or shouldn't) just go out with someone because of their looks. If everyone did that, many people (including myself) would rarely get a date! (Wait... :p:

)
On the other hand, you can't make yourself find someone attractive. It'll just mess everything up if you try and have a relationship with someone purely based on their personality and later realise that there is no attraction between you.
Having said that, you can't just base attractiveness on his face. If you like other stuff about him and genuinely fancy him (as more than a friend) that should be enough. Although the fact that you're asking sort of implies that you don't really fancy him much...

Reply 19

Profesh

20

'Intelligent' eyes.

What attracts you to someone?

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