Loved girl to bits, Played to many games, Don&#x27;t love her anymore

OP

No - I don't want to hurt her feelings. I still like her. The games she used to play were the typical hard to get type ones or where she acted very affectionate one day and completely blanked you the next to get you thinking. She didn't initiate things on purpose until I completely blanked her and then she'd come back to me but I really don't have the energy to be playing games. I wish she'd just stop so we can just get on with it. She's hurt my feelings the most though, I don't know why she does it. She probably thinks it has no effect on me but it does :frown:

Reply 3

It sounds like a typical 'chase'. How long have you two been 'seeing' each other?

Reply 4

OP

Nix!

It sounds like a typical 'chase'. How long have you two been 'seeing' each other?

Roughly 4 months. I think it's gone slightly beyond the chase stage but I may be wrong and this isn't an occasional twaddle, she does it ALL the time.

Reply 5

Perhaps you need to actually sit down and have a calm chat about the situation then?

Relationships do not work if you don't talk to each other.

Reply 6

OP

Nix!

Perhaps you need to actually sit down and have a calm chat about the situation then?

Relationships do not work if you don't talk to each other.

Yes but you see if I talk to her about it it'll make everything awkward and out of place. She'll be taken aback and will avoid me.

Reply 7

*Sparkle*

17

Just talk to her. Would you rather know she doesn't really like you and avoid you or be hurt for the next few months?

Reply 8

Anonymous

Yes but you see if I talk to her about it it'll make everything awkward and out of place. She'll be taken aback and will avoid me.

Not if you word the conversation correctly. Are you worried that she'll be 'taken aback' because she doesn't realise she's doing this to you? If anything, that's all the more reason to talk to her.

Reply 9

OP

*Sparkle*

Just talk to her. Would you rather know she doesn't really like you and avoid you or be hurt for the next few months?

But she's made it quite clear she likes me. She doesn't talk with anyone else but me and when we do get talking we talk for AGES. She's also shared things with me which she said she couldn't tell anyone else etc.

Reply 10

OP

Nix!

Not if you word the conversation correctly. Are you worried that she'll be 'taken aback' because she doesn't realise she's doing this to you? If anything, that's all the more reason to talk to her.

Yes that'd probably the main reason. I think she'd understand what I meant but would think she's been a total idiot and will avoid me out of embarassment.

Reply 11

Carpediemxx

17

Agreed with what everyone else suggested...Talk is the only real thing u can do, to be honest.
She may do that just cos she doesnt realise what it does to you, only way she gonna find out is if u sit her down and tell her.
As for making it awkard....i know the feeling of having to tell ur partner something that makes things akward but in the end its worth it...and if she loves you back she will be concerned shes done this to you and will make u feel better.If she dont then u are getting messed around and dont stand for that cos thats not fair.
Good luck,hope things turn out alright

Marc

Reply 12

Milli

She sounds like a complete idiot! Playing hard to get for the first month is normal…but once you enter a relationship what’s the point? Does she get some sort of satisfaction out of this? It’s plain stupidity. Speak to her and ask her what her problem is. Does she want this relationship to continue or is it ‘fun’ for her to mess around with people’s feelings?

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

Please please please talk to her! This exact thing happened to me, in that I lost a guy i really liked by continually playing games, and then we both got awkward with each other. If we had just spoken about it, im sure it would've been fine.
good luck

Reply 14

OP

Anonymous

Please please please talk to her! This exact thing happened to me, in that I lost a guy i really liked by continually playing games, and then we both got awkward with each other. If we had just spoken about it, im sure it would've been fine.
good luck

But what exactly should I tell her? I can't find a way to word it which won't hurt her feelings.. I love her too much.

Reply 15

Anonymous #2

Just tell her that you still really like her, but she's been confusing you with the way she's been acting. I dont think that will really hurt her feelings, it's just asking for an explanation which she owes you.
Do you even speak anymore? Is there any time you could get her alone to tell her this?

Reply 16

OP

Anonymous

Just tell her that you still really like her, but she's been confusing you with the way she's been acting. I dont think that will really hurt her feelings, it's just asking for an explanation which she owes you.
Do you even speak anymore? Is there any time you could get her alone to tell her this?

I speak to her but she never initiates anything unless I don't talk to her for ages! I'm always the one starting it off and it really puts me down that she can't make even that much of an effort to contact me..

We speak but obviously since i'm not happy I can't get my feelings out or be extroverted with her.. I always act really depressed so it's turning into a downward spiral and that's why I want to do something about it.

I could get her alone, yes, but it would be way too awkward :frown:

Reply 17

Anonymous #2

Well I suppose the only thing I can say is if you want it bad enough, forget about the possible awkwardness and just do it. Though it seems daunting, she's probably feelings the exact same way as you and is wishing you would do it already lol! And you owe yourself to find out the truth, you cant keep letting yourself be miserable anymore. I think you should just straight forward ask her and finally bring it out into the open.
Hope it goes well for you x

Reply 18

Anonymous

I speak to her but she never initiates anything unless I don't talk to her for ages! I'm always the one starting it off and it really puts me down that she can't make even that much of an effort to contact me..

We speak but obviously since i'm not happy I can't get my feelings out or be extroverted with her.. I always act really depressed so it's turning into a downward spiral and that's why I want to do something about it.

I could get her alone, yes, but it would be way too awkward :frown:

OK, I've been here. The trick is, do not focus on the situation you're in, but on how you're going to solve it.

You have your answer - talk to her.

You can either text her and politely ask her to put some time aside for you, or just jump on the opportunity when it next arises.

I don't mean to sound too cynical, but is there a possibility that you see there as being a relationship and she doesn't? It probably will turn out that she has issues about something, if like you said that you do know she likes you. All women are mental mate, something you need to learn sooner rather than later.

In conclusion, I refer you to my original point.

Reply 19