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Suicide

My sister's friend killed himself at the weekend. Obviously, it's a traumatic time for everyone who knew him and a tragic loss of life. My sister really needs some support, but I don't know how to help her. Can anyone offer any advice?

Reply 1

xatm092

Sit down, hug her, and dont say much :smile:

Reply 2

Time Tourist

Awful so sad and a waste of life. I'd say let her come talk to you when she's ready, don't try and push her if you get me, she probably needs some space to work this out in her head. But of course just be there wenever she needs you. Man I see suicide as such a selfish thing, how is this guys mother meant to feel? Somewhere everyone has people that love them and who they mean everything to. Obviously I know nothing about this guy or his situation, but bailing out of this life we're so lucky to have. Never then answer.

Reply 3

lil one

So sorry to hear that :hugs:

As others have said, just let her know you're there for her whenever she needs you, and give her her space. She'll come to you in her own time.

Reply 4

saasmi

hug her and don't say much. she just needs time. :hugs:

Reply 5

theduffy

Thanks everyone. I've been giving her and her friends as many hugs as they need. Half the time, I think they just want distracting and other times they want to talk. It's just hard knowing what to say

Reply 6

he_is_innocent

First of all I'm so sorry for you and your sister, so hugs! This is going to sound silly, but don't worry about what to say to your sister. When she's talking to you, she may well just want to get a load off her chest and if you're saying nice things (obviously you're not going to be horrible!) and showing that she's always welcome to come and talk to you and you aren't going to go and tell others, things to say will just come.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

a friend of mine recently committed suicide, so i can relate to how your sister must be feeling. Just be there for her, let her know that she can come to you if she wants to talk, but definately dont hassle her about it or keep asking questions, or asking her how she is feeling, because she might need time to come to terms with it in her own mind before she can talk about it.
Youre spot on aboutn the need to be distracted, it really helps to get your mind off it so watch films together etc.
Basically, just give her the time and space that she needs, she might feel sad and angry and she might take that out on you, but dont take it personally and just let her know you love her.

Reply 8

Laursy

don't badger her by asking if she is ok constantly

be there for her when she is ready, my best mates mum died and i had no idea what to do so i just waited untill she was ready to talk, shout, cry or do whatever then i was there for her,

thats only really the only thing you can do

Reply 9

James

This is awful news; I'm really sorry. :frown:

Make sure your sister knows you're there for her; she may need a shoulder to cry on.

Reply 10

Louenn

Agree with what everyone else has said.

Also, as she will need distracting, arrange trips out - not loads, or anything, but if you get her & her friends together and take them bowling or something, because they will need to see that they can still have times when they can enjoy themselves despite the sadness that has happened. A film may not be a good idea - too much chance of sitting and brooding. But if they're all together, then they can support each other as well as you being there to support them. Does that make any sense??

:hugs:

for you and your sis.

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

It's going to be very tough for your friend. Losing anyone is hard enough, but by suicide, the amount of emotions you go through is unbelievable, and even when you think you have dealt with it, you learn you haven't. My mum comitted suicide in April and i still struggle now. All i wanted was to feel safe and know that people were there for me. I found change hard to deal with and i was scared people would give up on me, so perhaps reassure her that that isn't the case. It will vary so much from person to person. I was hit with incredible anger after a few months and would scream at anyone who would say "it's what she wanted, you have to respect that" ect.

I hope it all works out okay, but i will warn you, it is a tough and rocky road ahead, but she is very lucky to have you.

x